[purplebutterfly]

im a mess and its not good- i just want to quit therapy and the meds

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( purplebutterfly ))))))))))))) Try to hang in there I know it's tough, I've considered quiting several times and so far I have been able to talk myself out of it when I get feeling bad.

Hey, Purple... Meds are difficult; therapy even more so. What's going on for you in therapy that's making you feel like it's a mess?

[purplebutterfly]

Originally Posted by pinksoil

Hey, Purple... Meds are difficult; therapy even more so. What's going on for you in therapy that's making you feel like it's a mess?

I just feel like my t is trying to get me to dig into feelings and time periods that i just want to leave alone, i haven't even got through with the reasons of why i self harm and today he started back with the whole abuse thing and i left feeling invisable and unwanted and unheard and the meds suck i hate zyprexa, ive gained so much weight on it not to mention the other meds with it. im done i just feel like giving up on it all- he wants me to journal my self harm - every time i journal i go back to the last entry and it triggers me bad and theres more i just dont want to discuss them all right here right now. sorry im a mess im crying right now and i cant think straight

[cantstopcrying]

Maybe with your journalling you could journal on loose-leaf paper--when you're done you fold it up and put it in an envelope so you don't have to read your last entry. Or journal on the computer, then print out each one right before your appointment. Maybe next time you can let him know how hard it was for you to come back (duh--he should know that) and you'd really like to stay focused on one thing at a time. As hard as it is to remember even though he's there to help you, you are paying him and shouldn't have to visit anything you don't feel comfortable doing. I'm with you on the weight gain. Lyrica and Lexapro made me huge, therefore more depressed, therefore eating more, therefore more depressed so lets increase the dose because you're more depressed! My family doctor said, "oh get over yourself. You're almost 40, you're not 20 anymore. It's unrealistic to expect to have the same body you did then." Hey, thanks for the support lady!! Sorry, babbling. Just wanted to know you are not alone, but please give the medication some time to fully get in your system and start to help.

[taylor43]

I feel like a mess after therapy allot just know there are better days a head. Please know we are here for you and do care please do vent all you need to. Sorry you had a crappy session. Please let youe t know how you feel it might help.

[Christina86]

((((((((((((purplebutterfly))))))))))))))

I've never liked therapists digging into the whole "abuse" thing. Especially since I'd much rather talking about something concrete, like my self-injury since that's real and tangible for me.

But it's all connected I think. Maybe your T thinks that dealing with the abuse stuff will help deal with the SI stuff?

I don't like journalling much either for that reason. Triggering yourself isn't fun at all!

What about doing it so you skip an ENTIRE sheet of paper between days, so you don't have to see the past entries? Or at the end of journalling one day - put a bookmark in at the NEXT place you'll start writing for the next time (if there is one)?

Sometimes also writing it out, in a document on your computer, like Word or Notepad, you can save the different files for different days, and save them to a disk or something, and then give that to T if they want to see it? So you don't have to look at other days, you just start a new file!