The worst time

Does anyone else feel like their therapy couldn’t have been interrupted at a worst stage. I don’t think I’ll,ever come back from this, I work in a hospital (not frontline staff but still have to go in) and I am so afraid and now so alone. All the work was for nothing.

abandonment issues...we discussed it at the beginning of the year, and he said ‘Unless a bomb goes off, I’ll always be here for you.’ So I guess the bomb has gone off. Even when I told him how bad things were getting at the hospital and I thought we would be in lockdown, he said he would still be here. And now he’s not and There’s no way through.

That's really too bad that you don't have support right now, when things must be really stressful for you. Your T doesn't do phone calls or video sessions? Could you find another therapist who does, maybe just someone temporary that you can vent to a bit?

Are you able to discuss the possibility of video/teletherapy? I was feeling like you are, and then my therapist offered Skype.

He wanted to WhatsApp. He’s always disliked phonecalls and anything that isn’t in person, he’s stressed how it can only work if we are in the same room so many times. This virtual therapy just seems like a way for them to still get paid while we get sicker. I’ve never paid him for a phone call before. How do we play with toys and do art? We can’t. I wish I’d known the last time was going to be the last time.

Yes, T and I were working on neglect in infancy and isolation/abandonment as a young child. Really hard time to stop face to face especially without warning. We are doing either phone or FaceTime. We have talked about setting up our phones on stands so we can play on the floor together. We would both have our own copy of the game and play “out loud”. We also talked about coloring. I live on a farm so we also talked about taking a walk around my property. Then T could “meet” my horses and some of the other critters.

I agree that online (at least for me) is not the same. But would it not be preferable to have someone, even if it is not the same, than have to go through all the emotions and fear on your own?

If you do good work together (though the focus might shift with what is going on) and you feel his support, I'd say: something is better than nothing.

And yes, he might need to get creative and adapt re toys and art. Ask him. See what you both can come up with so you can still work together.

I think if he has been a good therapist (apart from the issue where he said he hugged others and not you, wtf??) then maybe teletherapy might be better than nothing? Even if only .... to vent? idk

If he is creative and able to adapt, re toys and art?

I don’t know, I’m so,confused. I know therapy is meant to be for me to talk and do what I want, but sometimes I really wish he would suggest something different. It’s like being the kid that has to come up with everything all over again.

My fantasy is to be loved and touched and cared for without me asking for a specific thing, like I need a parent who knows what to do and say and how to communicate and touch me in a good way. And no I can’t do all that for myself, no matter how much he thinks I can. Does this make sense. I’m such a mess today sorry.

I'm so sorry it's like that for you and that your T is only offering limited options, that must be unbearably hard

My therapy was interrupted at a very bad time as well. I was just starting to be able to talk about painful issues around family that had been stirred up.

Therapy feels completely absurd right now. The universe has shown us how little we matter to anything, and as someone who has never felt good enough or noticed.....now knowing everything is pointless, neverending and I can't believe I let him convince me otherwise.

@MissUdy Yes, it does make sense.

I feel like therapy has ceased for me now. I last saw her 5 weeks ago. With no warning or any kind of discussion as to how we would transition, the clinic closed. We've been doing phone therapy since. It's like chatting with a friend, but the disruption and awkwardness of the situation...I will have to find out how things are when I return in person. It will take hard work to be comfortable again - if ever.