speechless

i really am. i dont know what to write in the letters i used to write to him for almost every session... and i definitely dont know what to say in my session tomorrow. Can it really be tomorrow?

when i try to think my mind goes blank. If i push harder i get anxious or fall asleep. i forget what gets said in session too.

i am really missing him and i am wanting to see him tomorrow, but i am afraid too. So withdrawn. i dont want to be all Mz misery you know? i dont feel like i have a starting point..or even a middle point.. no point at all.

what can he do anyway? i mean, with the current life crisis that is ongoing (and going and going) we have rehashed it to death. What else is there? Nothing he can do and i can't seem to do anything either. Stand still.

i feel bad. Instead of being all happy to be back i feel kinda like it's pointless to go. SOmetimes i feel bad for him.

"you don't have to do anything right now to be ok"....

maybe you can just be. just go there, and let things happen as they will.

(((((((you can do it))))))))) kiya

Fluff,

I don't know which is worse the session before break or the first one back. Yeah, reunions are as bad as breaks.

So, you don't write a letter this time. It's ok. You don't even have to say anything. That is ok too. Maybe just being there will calm you. If you fall asleep, then that's what your body needs.

There is a lot to be said for standing still and just being--noticing our surroundings and how we are feeling in the here and now.

(((((fluffy)))))

It will be ok. We are here for you.

Hey, it could be worse...you could have spilled water all over his office the last time you saw him like I did. That's what I'm facing tomorrow.

Peace

Anticipatory anxiety sucks, doesn't it? Do what I did today, just go. No agenda or anything. If I don't start with a direction, my T usually gives me one. I'm sure it will go smoothly