"speechless terror"...please help me...

Does... anyone else... suffer from "speechless terror"... where you would do anything... to escape.. including the "ultimate escape"...

My terror is so great... tonight.. and at times... that I would act first... without thinking... so very great the feeling....

Sitting here.. I feel.. that sometimes it would be better if I did "fix things permenantly"... so that I do not have the "speechless terror"....

I put it on the scale.. a "life"..... or.... "peace"...

I don't know...

Can anyone help me????? anyone hear me???? anyone at all???

((((freewill)))))))

((((((((((freewill))))))))))

freewill I hear you...and I'm here for you if you need to talk.

I hear you freewill and Yes I have been there...looked the devil straight in the face and would have done anything to escape that terror.

And I did...I lived to turn my back on him.

Your scale leaves no room for hope and that is what saves many of us. A simple Hope that what you fear is only fear and cannot harm you.

Please know that. Feel your heart beat,,that is real...think of us here,,reading your words and caring more for you then we can express..

We need your hope too...

With deepest care,

Lenny

((((((freewill)))))))))))))))
I can understand "speechless terror" Maybe not the same as yours.......But i understand..........

Find your voice (((((((freewill))))))))) let it out
cause you are worth being here, You matter so much......

After you let some of it comes the peace.........
But peace here on earth with us...................

I hear you........((((((((freewill))))))))))))))))

Your wonderfull words:

a shared smile.... soul to soul.. with complete understanding...of each other...

the geese... forming huge V's... overhead... as they form for migration... seeing the one that is way... out of formation... catch up... and be accepted... into the V

a humming bird... hovering... in the air.... seemingly to just... be suspended...

squirrels in the spring... chasing each other... around and up the tree trunk of my tree just outside my window...

the "perfect" feel... of my bedsheets... and blankets - the softness.. the smell... the feeling of warm...

the smell of my coffee as it brews in the morning... filling the house with such a feeling of safety....

the clouds... waiting at the pdoc... watching them thru the huge skylight....

waiting in line at the grocery store... and "playing" with the baby in the cart ahead of me....

and the beagle.. next door... hearing her "howl"... knowing that "all is good in the world".... because she is happy because she is doing her "howl"....


Such a beautifull envelope of life...

Lenny

((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))))

You have posted your words.....you have spoken.....as difficult as it was, you reached out....you do have hope I know you do.

I'm not sure that I understand what you speak of, I don't think I've ever experienced it. I'm sorry if my words are not capable of helping you through this...Please know that I send you my love and support dear freewill.


sabby

(((((((Freewill)))))))

i find myself in that terror place often... i hear you...lyn

(((((freewill)))))
although I have not experienced 'speechless terror' I hear you, and am here to listen to you.

i hear you i have had similair feelings lately in the end what it comes down to is what do u see in the near future things can change for better or worse life is precouse live one day at a time just keep ur head up and mind on a straight path u will be fine tc ttyl

for all of you....

In dreams I have the speechless terror, and in memory when I can't speak of 5t, get suck. But i changes, evolves. Good luck.

(((freewill)))

(((((freewill)))))

I hear you and I know exactly what "speechless terror" is and what it can do to you. I am there or at least part of me is. But the fact that you reached out and asked and posted shows you have strength and hope.

Take my hand friend-------------------------------------I extend it freely to you. Hold on with all your might. This will pass and you will make it on the other side. And together we can walk this path.

So many people here have been where you are, maybe for different reasons but there. There is another side if we hang on. We cannot let them win--they have already done enough. It is time we take back what they tried to take.

I love and support you always, and will always be there for you. PM me if you need. Love you.

cami

((Freewill)) I am sure my imagination only takes me to part of the place you are. I do not think thqt peace will be achieved with your method. Please remember the wrote that Lenny wrote to bring you comfort. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
a shared smile.... soul to soul.. with complete understanding...of each other...

the geese... forming huge V's... overhead... as they form for migration... seeing the one that is way... out of formation... catch up... and be accepted... into the V

a humming bird... hovering... in the air.... seemingly to just... be suspended.

Are you still going to a T Freewill? I know you've gone to Ts, but I can't remember if you are going to one currently. If you are still struggling this much and are not seeing a T, perhaps it's time to find one who specializes in DID?

DID isn't a death sentence. It's a way we survived some pretty yucko things and because of that, we do survive- and pretty well overall considering. Your T should be able to help you so you can do more than survive a day.

Even without DID, people have speechless terror. It totally sucks for sure, but things can get better. Sometimes you just have to hang on while you're on the ride, but while you're waiting in line for the next one, maybe do more than just stand there waiting. There are opportunities to learn some things that make the ride more tolerable. Practice them while you're waiting in line.

Best of luck to you. I hope you will find a therapist that can help you have better days.

freewill,

I hope your geese are flying in formation today.

Let us know how you are - ok?

peace and love,
nightbird

Thank you all.....

I do see my T.... and was able to make a pact... that I would call... if need be....

((((((((((((( freewill )))))))))))))