Couch 214: The chihiro couch

I feel like I'm slowly losing it during this isolation. Even my therapist is showing signs of strain. I feel the urge to comfort him.

I'm honestly not sure what is worse at this point. Being in quarantine alone or being in quarantine with people you'd like to get away from sometimes. I know there are times that I wish my abusive ex was here just so I'd have someone to interact with. He wasn't abusive 100% of the time.

We have Earl Grey, Lady Grey, and English breakfast in the house, plus a bunch of fancy nonsense blends that I don't touch, including Sleepytime tea. Earl Grey is my morning default. Lady Grey is nice on occasion, although I'm not sure I would consider her more hardcore than him. And my Earl Grey is American, so that's a first name, not a title.

ETA: I guess that would make it Earl Gray then... 🤔

Hugs. You'll never say someone else is unworthy. You're worthy my friend

The Manatee is not a wimp!

I detest tea. I don’t much like hot beverages, and especially not those that taste to me like hot water poured over leaves.

Its weird, isnt it? I kinda feel like im in my 1950's air raid atom bomb shelter. Waiting for when it will be safe to go outside.

I bought one of those tricycles that the parent can push for my youngest. So the other 3 rode their bikes around the block while I pushed her on the tricycle a few times. Just doing that and riding my bike around the neighborhood yesterday has my knee all messed up.

I'm feeling irritated at H tonight. I don't know what to think with some of the stuff he says.

If he's still coming over to yours to spend time with the kids, maybe just allow him access downstairs whilst you stay away from him upstairs.

Did you get any more info about the lawyers?

I'm such a savage I've never heard of Lady Grey tea until now.



I tried the supermarket own brand tea - It's drinkable but not as good as the Whittard's blend- which I actually brought for someone as a gift but then kept it.

£5.50 for tea.

Tea Bags | Buy Tea Online | Whittard of Chelsea

You deserve better than to be around someone like him.

I;m sorry you're struggling so much too.

I only really like iced tea, not hot. Iced green particularly (with a bit of sugar) or iced black, too. But not "sweet tea." Starbucks used to have this iced green peach tea lemonade in the summer that was amazing. Think they stopped carrying it a year or two ago (stopped carrying peach syrup), though could still get green tea lemonade. Not the same though.

Another day that started with crying...I hate that this is becoming commonplace for me.
Initially, it was over trousers, and then it was nothing to do with the trousers.

Hugs, NP. I forget, does your T have a spouse or partner, or is he living alone now as well? Mine has basically admitted to struggling, too (married with son who's 12? 13?) He's said how the novelty has worn off. He seems sort of sad, though it does seem to be making him particularly empathetic. The other day, he called this time "sloppy," like everyone is just winging it and doing what they need to do to get through.

And I've thought to myself how I probably would have dealt with all this much better when I was single and living alone (as one of my issues now is very little alone time or privacy). But I feel that by this point in the pandemic, I'd definitely be struggling. Too much time alone with my thoughts.

Amen to that, LT.

There is no distracting yourself from the reality of what your every day life actually is.

Living alone is always hard. Try to find joy in the small things, but I think for a time like now it's enough to just keep yourself safe.

So I had trouble staring up the schools online counselling portal, but logged in at 3 :03pm said counselor is offline.

Should I take this as a sign no more counselling for me?



she's come now but having trouble connecting but she said "Hi" before she went offline again.

11 mins gone already.

So i ended our session early. Told her It wasn't working for me and I was going to go and said bye.

Yes I sound ungrateful but her background noise was very loud and I couldn't hear her properly and she kept asking me to repeat myself. I will sound like a snowflake but it was triggering. I couldn't deal with it.

Yikes...I'm sorry, Cake. That really sucks. You are worthy of help and support.

I would change / delete just one word in what you wrote!

And your last phrase i think is more profound than you realize? Its whats that guys name - not amazon! but something like that, mazda, Maslow! - time to revisit his rules. Lemon, your not just a pretty face!

Gotta go get ready for my online dr appt. I guess i should take a bath? Maybe just put some clothes on. I dont know why im nervous. Any little change in routine.

Thank you Una O



Maybe I should also become a T. You could be my supervisor!

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs | Simply Psychology

How do you normally go when you see your doctor? Whatever you feel most comfortable in is always my moto.

Are you starting a third career writing “motivational” posters for therapists’ waiting rooms?

Instead of the usual beach or forest path background, I think the background for this should be a dumpster fire.

compared to my hoarded apartment, a dumpster fire would make a good "after" picture!

Eta - but yes, thanks! Altho, i think it needs a "In a pandemic lockdown", or "in prison," or "when your sober." Something like that.

I love living alone. I really do. My ideal set up would be living next door to my partner. OR maybe getting a 3 family flat where we each had a whole set up with a common place to meet in the middle if we wanted. But I don't like living with other humans in the same space. I always feel trapped and smothered.

Don't encourage her - there will be freudian goofy nonsense and bodily function references.