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  #926  
Old May 17, 2020, 07:52 AM
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ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
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Hi Lola! Sorry I missed you again! Hope you got some sleep.

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  #927  
Old May 17, 2020, 08:35 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I worry about this, too. Mine has talked about how I don't have many of my usual coping methods available to me now. But I know he doesn't have some of his activities available to him now either (like the sport he plays), which I imagine is the case for most T's. Plus their clients are likely talking about the pandemic much of the time, so they can't escape thinking about that. And they're either stuck at home with their partner and/or kids or they're at home alone, likely feeling isolated.

Actually I asked Info how many of her clients were as focused on the pandemic as I was and she said almost none, and the only time it came up for the exceptions was if it was aggravating an already existing issue, and even then the focus was on the issue, not the pandemic.

I never worry about Info getting burned out because she’s so mediocre.
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  #928  
Old May 17, 2020, 10:24 AM
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I never worried about the woman getting burned out - she didn't pay enough attention to clients for them to burn her out. Plus I would not have cared. It was her problem - not mine. I figure let them practice the crap they tell clients all the time. Or maybe I would have told the woman to go do some mindfulness on herself. But mostly, I would not have cared.
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  #929  
Old May 17, 2020, 10:45 AM
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I just had to buy gas for the first time in over two months. And I only had half a tank when this started.
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  #930  
Old May 17, 2020, 10:50 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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If my T offers me a last-minute session, it's OK to take it, right? I'm scared this will go badly...
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  #931  
Old May 17, 2020, 10:58 AM
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It's OK to do what you need to do to meet your needs LT. I hope it goes better than expected.
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  #932  
Old May 17, 2020, 11:02 AM
Anonymous41549
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When my T says the reason he didn't reply to my email yet is that he "had to take a break from my practice."
Ouch ...
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  #933  
Old May 17, 2020, 11:12 AM
Salmon77 Salmon77 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
If my T offers me a last-minute session, it's OK to take it, right? I'm scared this will go badly...
From what you've said, your T seems like someone who's okay with saying no to people. He wouldn't offer you a session if he didn't want to do it.
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  #934  
Old May 17, 2020, 11:15 AM
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ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I worry that all our therapists are in burnout place. Especially when I want to cling to mine like a life raft and I want to support him at the same time.

hugs NP. I've been having similar feelings about L ever since this whole covid thing started and I found out she was sick. i want her support and want to support her at the same time complicated by how she's not even my t anymore yet suddenly I'm feeling all clingy again myself. ugh.
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  #935  
Old May 17, 2020, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I just had to buy gas for the first time in over two months. And I only had half a tank when this started.
"That's what she said!"
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  #936  
Old May 17, 2020, 11:24 AM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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Students are down to their last 24 hours to get their crap together. SOOO ready for this school year to be over. SOOO tired of the sob stories and manipulation and lies and just outright apathy. School, quite honestly, has never been easier - fewer assignments; pass/fail with a lower passing average standard; every grade is weighted the same - so plenty of "cushy" assignments to pad the heavier ones. But we teachers will all have a few students who have chosen to lose credit or even to not graduate because they can't get it together long enough to turn in no more than two assignments per class per week - and they only have 4 classes at our school. Grr.

Okay. Teacher rant over. LOL. (Honestly, I only have fewer than a handful that won't pass, but they are driving me nuts.)
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  #937  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
Students are down to their last 24 hours to get their crap together. SOOO ready for this school year to be over. SOOO tired of the sob stories and manipulation and lies and just outright apathy. School, quite honestly, has never been easier - fewer assignments; pass/fail with a lower passing average standard; every grade is weighted the same - so plenty of "cushy" assignments to pad the heavier ones. But we teachers will all have a few students who have chosen to lose credit or even to not graduate because they can't get it together long enough to turn in no more than two assignments per class per week - and they only have 4 classes at our school. Grr.
I'm one of those people who can't get it together right now. The fear of this kind of attitude in response is why I'm afraid to let my boss know how badly I'm struggling.
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  #938  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:18 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Thanks for the support. Session actually went fairly well. Lots of crying on my part (I think he may have wiped away tears at one point, too). He apparently hadn't intended to meet with clients today but said he could tell I seemed really distressed, so he made the choice to offer me the time. That he was going to be concerned about me until my session tomorrow if he hadn't. Which felt good in a way because he clearly cares, but also a little awkward because he was uncertain about offering it. May share more in a bit.
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  #939  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I'm one of those people who can't get it together right now. The fear of this kind of attitude in response is why I'm afraid to let my boss know how badly I'm struggling.

I'm also having trouble getting it together. Dr. T today said maybe I've used up my reserves in terms of dealing with the stay-at-home stuff. Which makes a lot of sense. Like I could manage for a couple months, now I'm struggling more.
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  #940  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
Ouch ...

Yeah, that kinda hurt...He did admit that he handled it poorly, that he should have put on an out-of-office message instead of just being silent. Like he turned off his email for a day. And he normally always replies within 24 hours, usually more quickly. I got to like 28 hours before texting.

Last edited by LonesomeTonight; May 17, 2020 at 01:04 PM.
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  #941  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:38 PM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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I worry about L especially due to her emergency. She sends me reminder emails everyday, and in it she always tells me that she is well and taking care. I ask her every time we meet if she's okay. She always tells me shes doing good and has lots of support. I told her last session that I'm worried she feels stuck with me or like I'm a "ball and chain" she's dragging around. She reassured me that's not the case, she sets up her practice so she can handle long-term clients. The constant reassurances really help.
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  #942  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:42 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I'm one of those people who can't get it together right now. The fear of this kind of attitude in response is why I'm afraid to let my boss know how badly I'm struggling.
Some students pull sob stories, manipulation, and lies all the time, pandemic or not. (There’s a reason there are so many jokes about dead grandmothers even among non-teachers.) I had a student claim once he couldn’t take a test on x date because his brother died in Iraq on that date—lie. A colleague had a student forge an insurance claim for an accident so he could have a makeup test for a midterm he missed. And there are always those who cannot pull it together no matter how easy you make it for them. No matter how many chances they get.

It’s not an attitude. It’s the voice of experience. And it doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with your situation at work.
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  #943  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:48 PM
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We had a slew of student's dead best friends, dead friends of the family, anniversary of best friend's death this year (before the virus sent us to online teaching). Some students report so many dead/dying friends/relatives/celebrities they feel close to - that you almost worry about having them in class lest you catch whatever it is they all have. It is kind of like being friends with the Murder She wrote person - if you are her friend or relative - you are either going to be murdered or accused of murder - best just to stay away from them.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #944  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:54 PM
Salmon77 Salmon77 is offline
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I used to teach, so I'll add that, when I had students who said they were struggling with mental or physical health issues or life events, it was always pretty clear to me when somebody was sincerely having a tough time, versus when somebody was trying to BS their way to a better grade. I don't think I'm especially attuned or a mindreader or anything, so I'd always give the benefit of the doubt, but—most of the time, people can tell the difference. So NP, please don't let this deter you from talking to your boss if you're having a hard time.
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  #945  
Old May 17, 2020, 12:57 PM
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I don't bother trying to figure it out. I cc the dean of students on my email and tell the student to withdraw from my class so they can focus on the outside situation without failing. I let the office in charge of students with a crisis handle it.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #946  
Old May 17, 2020, 02:09 PM
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chihirochild chihirochild is offline
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Welp, can't work until I get COVID tested, which doesn't happen on the weekends.

(I feel terrible about this but I'm secretly thrilled that I don't have to work the effing night shift tonight.)

Only trouble is that now I'm bored. I read for a bit (prepping for this psychoanalytic fellowship interview on Saturday) but now my brain is mush and I'm not absorbing anymore. Played some Animal Crossing. Can't leave the apartment because I have to self-quarantine until I'm cleared. Now what?
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  #947  
Old May 17, 2020, 05:51 PM
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This is really stupid.

I'm watching a TV show with one of my BFFs over Netflix Party and there was this scene where a boy had a nightmare and his mother came in to comfort him and it made me really sad.

I miss my T.
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  #948  
Old May 17, 2020, 06:05 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Hugs, Chihiro...Not stupid. Stuff is affecting us now because of the current situation. I miss my T so much, and we just talked 7 hours ago. I just want to see him in person and shake his hand again. It's crazy how much I miss that...
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  #949  
Old May 17, 2020, 06:27 PM
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ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salmon77 View Post
I used to teach, so I'll add that, when I had students who said they were struggling with mental or physical health issues or life events, it was always pretty clear to me when somebody was sincerely having a tough time, versus when somebody was trying to BS their way to a better grade. I don't think I'm especially attuned or a mindreader or anything, so I'd always give the benefit of the doubt, but—most of the time, people can tell the difference. So NP, please don't let this deter you from talking to your boss if you're having a hard time.

NP I agree with this. I'm not a teacher or anything but.... my current prof and my supervisor at work were both understanding when I was struggling so much a month & a half ago or so. I imagine they both could tell that I wasn't just bs'ing.
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  #950  
Old May 17, 2020, 07:10 PM
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My therapist said we could talk today if I thought it would help. I was doing okay until I woke up from a nap feeling really hopeless, but it feels like it's too late in the day to email him. Trying to do one day at a time but it's hard.
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