I have a regular T and an EMDR T. I just started EMDR and my T, she does the following which really annoy me.
1. Every session, she schools me on how whatever problem I have is related to my abuse history.
2. She probes for symptoms of abuse. Example, asking me.. so do you have trouble being intimate with men? Many women of abuse do. or asking me.. do you feel u are a good person or bad?
3. I never know if those taps on my legs are doing anything and I hate ppl touching me.

I'm not sure if those reasons are good enough to end therapy. Should I continue? My real T would be disappointed if I stop. I've been to about 4 sessions already. I'm not sure if I see progress. What should i do?

I tried EMDR with a former T., did it about 5-6 times.

What is this about taping your leg? I was never touched. Mine had something(don't remember the name...) that clicked and then she would have me focus on a wand-type stick that she held and swung back and forth as I followed it with my eyes-- she never touched me-- I would be so uncomfortable if she did! though, with that said-- the EMDR did not do one thing for me...... it just didn't work...... maybe I was dissociating too much..... I don't know for sure.... but I do know it didn't do anything for me.

Please try not to worry about pleasing your regular T., if something is not feeling helpful for you-- you should say so. EMDR, or for that matter, any particular type of therapy is not a one size fits all. Some things work for some people and some don't-- doesn't mean anything bad-- just that it's not the right process at the time. Your therapy should be about you and helping you-- and hopefully your T. will understand that.
I think you deserve a commendation for trying it-- shows you are open to progress(IMO)

mandy

Can you tell your T everything you wrote below and get his opinion? Or do you feel comfortable telling your EMDR T this? I think addressing your feelings/concerns to at least one of your Ts will help you decide which path to take. Good luck!!!

[sunrise]

It sounds like this T is being too leading and directive. I would be annoyed too. If what she says doesn't fit, can you say, "no, that's not it at all, this is how it is"?

I have done EMDR several times and I would not like it if someone tapped on me either. It would drive me nuts. We did it with these little electronic gizmos that pulsed. I put one in each shoe. T never touched me at all. He said I could put them under my thighs or in the shoes. I find the alternating pulses quite soothing. Do not let your T touch you if you are uncomfortable with it or annoyed by it. She should know that!

Maybe the EMDR would be helpful, but sounds like you need a different practitioner.

Hey,

I wouldn't like to do EMDR. I know that some people really do find a benefit from it, but it is not something that I would like to do. I don't think that the troubles you are having with your EMDR therapist have a great deal to do with her being an EMDR therapist, but I'd have trouble with those things whether it was in the context of EMDR or not...

> Every session, she schools me on how whatever problem I have is related to my abuse history.

So she has a narrative explanation of your problems all sorted out for herself. In this narrative you are the victim and your being the victim is what explains all your troubles. I would have trouble swallowing that life story, too. In particular... Each individual needs to find their own narrative explanation and it is fairly invalidating for a person to try and impose their narrative understanding of another person's life onto that person. Even if... The narrative explanation that she has come to of her own life (that helped her) is that she is a victim... That doesn't give her the right to try and impose that kind of explanation onto you and your life.

> She probes for symptoms of abuse. Example, asking me.. so do you have trouble being intimate with men? Many women of abuse do. or asking me.. do you feel u are a good person or bad?

That would be enough to get me to quit. I have enough problems without people suggesting more problems to me...

Why would your 'real t' be disappointed if you stop the EMDR?

[Perna]

If your regular T recommended this EMDR T, ask her to recommend someone else, explain it is not comfortable for you as this T is practicing it?

[tsha]

I am currently in EMDR with a different T than my regular one. You should be sure your EMDR T has been certified to perform this therapy. Some Ts do it without the cert. From what you describe it sounds like she isn't.

As the tapping is happening there's no communicating. Before we start we pick the "target" belief. A certain points we stop and she asks me what comes up. I tell her and then continue. After we finish we go through some imagery and breathing exercises.

As Perna recommended, I would look for another EMDR T and I would further suggest that you meet with that person before signing on to find out more about them and their approach.

Good Luck

[SweetCrusader]

EV, is she combining touch point therapy with EMDR? That's what tapping on your leg sounds like. Does she tap anywhere else?

Regardless, if you don't like it, you do have a right to ask her not to. I know that's hard to do, believe me. I'm still working on telling the new T that-- even after I got validation from my long-time T that I have that right!

Thanks for the input everyone. Yes my regular T recommended EMDR. She does the leg tapping instead of a wand or a buzzer. Its sorta like someone beating your knee caps like drums.

[Kiya]

i also did not like EMDR. I was dissociative and the whole eye watching -wand thing just put me somewhere else. I don't think she tapped me - I had to tap myself and i hated it. it made my skin hurt. Oh she did use a tuning fork on me... didn't see the point really. She eventually decided that nothing happened to me (didn't believe me) and tried to get me to reconcile with abuser. i quit.

I hope you have the courage to tell regular t that this isn't working and hope that he has enough sense and caring to be ok with that. If you're uncomfortable, it's not going to be thereputic. i mean, lots of us are uncomfortable in therapy - but if it hurts you or distracts you to a level where you can't do the therapy, it won't help. Kiya