Couch 215: The Overcoming Couch

Oh lord. This IPA tasting presentation is literally a ppt presentation over Zoom.

*facepalm facepalm facepalm*

My anxiety is through the roof today. Or my anger is. I'm really not sure which. I want to nap but all my kids are awake, so I won't. I didn't answer my phone this morning because I was sleeping, so H thought it was okay to come over again unannounced and into my room to wake me up. I need to bite the bullet and get a restraining order, I know. This is going the opposite way I wanted.


So I've been painting picture frames for my daughters' room. Turning it in a Frozen 2 theme.

It could be oral allergy syndrome. Are you by any chance allergic to latex?


I have issues with some fruits when pollen counts are high, where they make my mouth itch--strawberries, apples, and a few others. I learned it was oral allergy syndrome (because sometimes, they don't affect me at all).

Might be good to check with an allergist to be safe before you eat the other avocados... and have some Benadryl on hand.

Ummmm - then why zoom??? That is too dumb to be funny, or too funny to be dumb. I dont know which. Now i understand why you kids invented the facepalm.

I’m all out of sorts after therapy this evening. I’m very on edge and can’t seem to calm down. There is a bright side, though. I’m listening to my husband do the dishes. It’sa beautiful sound when you’re not the one doing it.

Yeah, I have reactions sometimes to other things. Mainly carrots, apples and almonds, but not all the time and usually it's just mildly annoying. I assume it is the oral allergy syndrome. I've never been allergic to latex and/or avocado before though, so it's kind of weird. Also, it was a lot more severe reaction than I've had before. Talked about it today in session and my therapist has the same thing but with peaches, nectarines and cherries. He said his was because of a birch allergy. I will probably tentatively try another one next week and see what happens.

I want to post in here. You guys seem nice and fun. But I also feel like I'm intruding on the "cool kids' club".

Ahhh! Stupid mental illness(es) getting in the way of me posting on a public forum like a normal person.

I have never been and never will be part of any "cool kids' club". But I post here anyway. Post about what you're struggling with or something interesting or comment on someone else's post. Let yourself be known a little bit. We won't bite. There are some couch inside jokes, but just ask and someone will explain.

Just for the record, I felt the same way before I posted here for the first time, but I was going through some trauma and needed a place that felt okay posting in and the couch was it.

Couch mini-poll: what do you guys think of couples who share an email account? One of the things I did during quarantine was reach out to old friends I’d basically dropped during my time with 2ex for reasons to do with him (so far, to my shock, they’ve all responded, and all very affectionately too). Anyway, heard back from one just now, writing from a joint account with her husband (she’d actually contacted me first and I replied to her work address, she wrote back from this one). So the sender is like “Jack and Jill.” Now I feel weird, like it’s not really a private conversation. I don’t know the husband, he’s new. And I can’t imagine not having that privacy with friends. It actually reminds me of 2ex cutting me off from my friends, in the opposite way.

I mean, there’s nothing I can do about it, and it’s great if they really have that kind of relationship. Maybe I’m just too tainted by my own experience.

ETA: never been a cool kid either.

Cool avatar!!! And welcome.

I can't imagine sharing an e-mail acct with anyone. Aside from all the other creepy reasons--do they dress alike, too?--wouldn't it get confusing? And I don't want to read half the e-mails I get, so why would I want to plow through someone else's as well?

I wouldn't like the shared email thing and do think that's odd. I had a problem with a old friendd telling me she'd call me back and then to find out she took the call in the car with her husband who I've never met.

I don't think I'm cool either, but rather a dork you could meet. I felt the same way about making new couch titles. Had to wait a while. xD

I skipped therapy yesterday then woke up in a panic crying and texted him today at 7am asking if he had anything free .

I know a quite a few married couples who have one shared personal email account. They do so because that’s the account they conduct most of their financial business through and it’s simply easier to deal with personal business only being directed through one email account.

Welcome tree7car pull up a cushion

Since Sunday i have encountered my exT every day this week. I know he would say that this means something. I am inclined to say its just a coincidence in a town like ours. But a little part wants to believe this means something

I can't sleep...too worried about waking up to H in my house again even though I made sure all the doors are locked. Worked on my paper that's due tomorrow night a little. Shouldn't be too hard to write. Really not feeling well physically tonight or at all today. Not sure if it's just stress or something else going on.

Hi couch,

T did ask me how much I could afford. I said 2/5th or 3/5th of her full fee which I've faithfully paid. I broke down crying because that 1/5th is a week of food. I said I've been crying over the cost of food and I tried going hungry just to save a couple of dollars here and there.

She told me at first she thought moving wasn't a big change in my circumstances. I told her it absolutely is. Here in our country, people don't move out until they marry and can access subsidised public housing. Even my discounted rent is expensive and it's actually hard even for working adults to move out. T herself still lives with her parents and siblings.

She said therapy shouldn't be worsening my mental health, and that I still need to see her twice a month. So she said I'll pay her the lowest tier 2/5th. I'm immensely grateful because it really does mean I don't have to stress so much about food.

I am so glad your T was willing to work with you on this matter, QM.
You deserve support, and I am glad that you will not have to go without right now.

I'm also glad your T is letting you pay the lowest tier. It sounds like you got her to understand about your finances--sounds like she didn't comprehend before. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to starve yourself so that you could have therapy.

I agree that the shared email account is weird and I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. Especially when it's so easy to set up multiple accounts on gmail (I have 3, though one I never use).

If one more person talks to me about 'safety' in the context of the pandemic, I am going to lose my mind.
Physical safety is important, yes, but emotional safety is even more so.

My parents share their email account. My mom uses it mostly, but my dad will read emails sometimes, though most of the time to tell my mom what the content is when she doesn't have the time to sit down. I also doubt my dad is interested in what my mom talks about with her friends and just snoops around.

I think it's fine as long as the address suggests that both can read it. If there's need for more private conversations, it's still possible to either have additional separate accounts or to text, but from my personal experience of being in a relationship for almost 10 years, unless it's a secret concerning something like a present for my partner, there's a considerable chance that I will share secret with him anyways (if I feel it might be interesting to him, not in general). I think it's like that in many relationships and if they have a shared email account, I'd be willing to bet that secrets might be shared among them anyways.

My in-laws share an email address. I do think it's a little weird, but they're totally co-dependent (sometimes in a sweet way, sometimes in a problematic way) so people generally kind of regard them as one unit anyway. It has proven to be useful as my father-in-law has started having issues with dementia and my mother-in-law has taken over the household matters he used to manage. I would probably use phone or video chat if I wanted to talk to one of them individually anyway, so maybe this is a different situation.

My spouse and I both had our own email accounts long before we met, so the idea of merging has never occurred to either of us. We do have shared passwords in our password manager accounts, though, in the event that one of us dies suddenly and the other needs access to the household accounts (electricity, mortgage, Netflix, etc).

We started watching Dirty John on Netflix last night. The podcast is riveting, and the dramatized television version is pretty good so far too.

Might be a skip for anybody with a history of domestic partner abuse, though.

I have a migraine. My work is done for the day unless we do some shipping. I still have like 5 and a half hours to go. I don't know if I just work fast, or there's not enough work. I haven't figured that out. I can do some electronic filing later which I might do. I did some this morning. I'm trying to do two months each day that way the project lasts me for a while. I have about a years worth of documents to transfer. I'm feeling so so. Maybe not as bad as yesterday. It's hard to tell. I got up around 4, then slept in the lazy boy until almost 5:30 AM. I was like, yikes!!! I gotta get going. Couldn't get Amelia to do anything more than nibble on her breakfast so I hope my Dad will feed her again if she comes in. Lately she has been hunting lizards. Yuck! Then either the dog or my other kitty brings them in the house. I'm like, ew, guys, stop. Esther when she was in her prime would bring in birds and occasionally lizards but lizards always made her sick. Amelia doesn't seem to eat them, she just kills them. Sometimes I do wonder what goes through the mind of a cat.