[emmaleemochizuki]

Until about a year ago, regardless of the circumstances I have always covered my SH scars, (at the time they were very obvious as there were a lot of new ones). I would were long sleeves all the time, and I never wore skirts or shorts except if I have tights on underneath.

My T has never seen my bare arms and legs. I always felt like if she sees them she is either going to think I'm pathetic, that my SH is not actually that bad, or she's going to think the opposite that it is really bad. My scars are still visible, but most of them are white, some bulge from deeper cuts.

I am still very self conscious of my T seeing them cos I just feel like its gonna stand out.

And also one time when I was in a really bad relapse of anorexia, I wore some fitted clothes one day instead of the baggy clothes that I'm always in, and I can just feel her staring at me, and it made me felt really uncomfortable. And that whole session I have heard said how skinny I was so many times.

[*Beth*]

I don't think I self harm, but I do tear at my skin. And I do hide it from my mental health providers, because I'm embarrassed. Which is not smart.

[Merope]

He's seen my arms when I was actively self-harming. He asked to see a few times and I rolled my sleeves up and showed him. Nevertheless, I still wear long sleeves to sessions. He hasn't asked to see my arms in about a year, mostly because my SH is not too bad. Apart from one scar that stands out, I don't have any other ones that are too visible, unless I hold my phone torch at a certain angle.

I totally understand the feeling of thinking T would consider you pathetic because your SH "isn't actually that bad." Sometimes I talk about it when it's not an active problem and worry that if he were to see my arms, he would think I'm making too much of a fuss, or worse, that I'm lying about it. So it's become a sort of habit to cover my arms up, even in the dead of summer. Probably not very healthy. If I go outside wearing a T-shirt when the SH isn't much of a problem, I worry that I'll run into him and he'll think I'm annoying/pathetic/weird for talking about SH in sessions. He probably saw other clients whose SH was a lot worse than mine. I almost feel like a fraud for not doing it as bad.

[KLL85]

Most of my scars are on my thighs so that it is much easier to hide them. None of my Ts have ever seen them and never will. I have a few on my arms and I will always keep them covered up for everyone T included. I feel like I’m attention seeking if they are not covered up.
My previous CPN asked to see my arms when he first asked about self harm as he assumed that’s where I did It and when he saw them his reaction was ‘Oh there’s only a few, so it’s not like we need to worry about that as you’re clearly not a proper self harmer.’ He never did ask whether I did it anywhere else on my body and never found that my thighs are covered in scars.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I have never been one to hide my scars, sometimes not even fresh wounds (though those were usually covered by bandages or similar).

I don't hide them from my T either, though I have gotten a tattoo over most of them last winter and they are now not very visible. But before that, I'd wear shorts to sessions if I felt like it, short sleeves, you name it.
My T has asked once or twice to see them, when we discussed me feeling self-conscious about them and he wanted to judge whether people would actually notice them at all, because he never did when we were just talking, though they are quite visible.

Have you told your T that you sometimes self harm? I think it might be worth discussing that you're uncomfortable with showing the scars to her and why. I usually do this whenever I'm uncomfortable with anything in my therapy and usually it results in me feeling more comfortable and being able to change behaviors that I'm not happy about.

Also, have you brought up the fact that you were uncomfortable with your T looking at you when you wore more fitted cloths or her comments about you being skinny? It might be a good idea to let her know, both so that she knows how you react to it and so that you can work on feeling more comfortable with your body around other people.

[daisydid]

I’ll cover only if I have recently SHed and the wound is healing. Not because I’m hiding it from T, but I don’t want other people to see. T has asked to see my arms before after I’ve SHed, so I’ve shown him.

[Gettingitsoon]

I used to SH as a teen.
I havent actually cut in many years.
I do pick and tear at my skin compulsively. It is noticeable on my exposed hands, sometimes arms. Other body parts are usually covered.

[Mountaindewed]

I haven’t self harmed in almost 5 years so I don’t cover my arms. You can still see a lot of my scars but she’s never mentioned them and I’ve never brought them up.

[0Smile0]

SH scars were a massive source of shame for me. It's only been in the last couple of summers I have shown my arms willingly and even now it makes me self conscious depending on who I am around. Family will never see my arms.

My therapists have never really asked me about it although I haven't self harmed in years so it's not an immediate risk. But I also feel weird about them and showing them to professionals. I think I still don't understand them or why I did it the times I have done it more recently rather then a teenager (and we are talking about five years) I know why but as a teenager I just can't connect because it was partly because my friends were doing it. It was so weird.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I also pick at my skin. I don't try to hide it or cover it up.

I don't necessarily cover up (5 years old) scars either. Most are covered by tattoos. You can still see the scars if you look closely. I didn't have backgrounds done.

She has seen all of mine at some point.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by 0Smile0

SH scars were a massive source of shame for me. It's only been in the last couple of summers I have shown my arms willingly and even now it makes me self conscious depending on who I am around. Family will never see my arms.

My therapists have never really asked me about it although I haven't self harmed in years so it's not an immediate risk. But I also feel weird about them and showing them to professionals. I think I still don't understand them or why I did it the times I have done it more recently rather then a teenager (and we are talking about five years) I know why but as a teenager I just can't connect because it was partly because my friends were doing it. It was so weird.

I relate to this a lot.

I haven't self-harmed, since I was a teenager. It has been 22 years. I vowed, that I would never do it again. So far I have kept my word.

No one knows except for a few people. I refuse to wear short sleeves in public and around my family especially my mother.

I'm looking into getting them covered up. I cannot stand looking at them, because they remind me of a terrible time in my life. Plus they imply certain things that don't apply to me whenever a clinician sees them.

I did this because it was a social contagion. At that time I was vulnerable and impressionable. It seemed to have compensated for my poor communication skills.

Violating my body in this way is my biggest regret in life. I cannot seem to get past it. I wish, I had a dermal regenerator like they do in Star Trek.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I relate to this a lot.

I haven't self-harmed, since I was a teenager. It has been 22 years. I vowed, that I would never do it again. So far I have kept my word.

No one knows except for a few people. I refuse to wear short sleeves in public and around my family especially my mother.

I'm looking into getting them covered up. I cannot stand looking at them, because they remind me of a terrible time in my life. Plus they imply certain things that don't apply to me whenever a clinician sees them.

I did this because it was a social contagion. At that time I was vulnerable and impressionable. It seemed to have compensated for my poor communication skills.

Violating my body in this way is my biggest regret in life. I cannot seem to get past it. I wish, I had a dermal regenerator like they do in Star Trek.

Getting a tattoo over them really helped me. I'm not sure how well that works in case your scars are raised, but even then it's possible to incorporate them into a design that makes them less prominent.

[0Smile0]

I got a tattoo over mine but kinda wish I got a form of plastic surgery to cover them. Plus one scar isn't covered and I have to cover the tattoo at times anyways e.g. work. I think there was a really long period where I hated my body because of them and probably a key reason why I don't self harm anymore I don't think I considered the permanence of them at the time. I suppose I also didn't considered the temporary nature of my emotions either. My relationship with them is slowly becoming more accepting but I am 30 and I have had to hide my arms for almost half my life out of shame

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, I always cover up my scars. My T asked to see my arms the first session I saw her when I told her that I SH. So she has seen my arms but every other session I've been in long sleeves, whether it is 115 degrees outside or not.