[emmaleemochizuki]

One of the main reason I am seeing a T is because I have been dealing with an ED since I was 15. I have gone through stages when I am anorexic, stages when I am bulimic, and also binge eating. My official diagnosis is anorexia nervosa binge/purge subtype, and I told my current T that the first time I saw her.

Over the last two years, she never said anything when I am healthy weight/or putting on weight towards a healthy weight. But whenever I lose weight/getting too skinny she comments and confronts me about it. She tells me that I'm avoiding to talk about eating, but she can see that something is going on. I get her point, that she's trying to help me, but it still makes me kind of uncomfortable when someone comments on my weight/body regardless of what they said about it.

Recently I have been trying to maintain a healthy weight, and she tells me how tiny and skinny I still look when I talk to her about how I feel that I'm fat. I don't know what to think, and I found it a bit hypocritical sometimes because she's very skinny herself. But I suppose she is trying to show me that even though my eating disorder makes me think I look huge, but in reality I'm actually still tiny, her exact words.

Anyway. ED sucks. and my brain is a mess when it comes to anything to do with food, weight, whatever. Maybe it is just better to not have any comments all together.

I have known things about calories, BMI and thigh gaps since I was 12, and lets face it even though we try to talk about body positivity more, the society still perceive a thinner body being more beautiful. And look at those models.

[MissUdy]

I am really concerned that your T comments on your appearance in this way at all. Everything she says is just her opinion, and doesn’t really have a place in session. I was bulimic when I was a teenager, but it wasn’t anything to do with wanting to be skinny or small or staying childlike and fragile, it was just about control for me.

I would have to disagree that thinner bodies are more beautiful. Personally I find healthy bodies and confident people beautiful. Skinny doesn’t always mean healthy, especially when it comes to eating disorders.

Sorry your T doesn’t seem to give what you need, I hope she will change for the better after you tell her how you feel.

[susannahsays]

My first thought is that if she didn't respond at all, you would probably take it as confirmation that you're as fat as you fear you are. That's based on my own experience of having an eating disorder, though, and maybe you would feel different.

Maybe you could ask her to bring up when she has concerns in a different way without mentioning how you look? I don't think it would be a good idea for her to collude with your ED and just ignore the issue. You're not seeing her for her to watch you starve yourself to death.