"What do I want for my life in 5 years?"

That is the question posed to me by T. T wants me to write about what I want for me in 5 years. How? What's the right answer? Why is T asking me this?

Hey everyone. It's been a few weeks since I've been on here. Last time I was here I was going back forth about getting in touch with my original T about seeing them for therapy again. Well, I ended up in the hospital for a short stay and a week after getting out I finally got the courage to call T and leave a message about wanting to see them again. T responded back the next day more than willing to start back therapy with me. I had my first 2 sessions with T this past week. It's really great to be back with someone I feel I can actually trust. I'm just super nervous about the road ahead because my head is all over the place and even though I'm glad for therapy I don't feel excited for life. Yes, there are things I think about in sporadic moments, but I have no clue if I'm going to be here in 5 years or not because my mind comes back to reality that my head is ****ed, has been for a long time, and how can I do anything with this broken brain? Let alone fathom the thought of being with it for 5 more years from now?


I'm trying not to look at this like an assignment with a right or wrong answer, but I feel like I have already failed at it.

I couldn't answer this if it was asked of me

when I was a child, I would have said.. well, in 5 years time, I'll be at a theme park, I'd be a ride operator/ engineer, and I'd have good grades

now it would read something like:

i just want this circus of a life to end and have at least 1 thing go right for me

That can be a very difficult question to answer for many people. The idea is probably to get you thinking about what is important to you, including any goals you have for therapy and your life, so you can start moving towards meeting them. It's likely to try and help you feel more positive about your future and pinpoint specific things to work towards. But it's one of those questions that can invoke more of a sense of desperation and - like you said - failure, if it's enough just trying to cope with how life is now. It reminds me of a question my former T used to ask a lot 'What would you ideally say to such and such?' I knew full well that saying what I'd ideally say would never be an option for many reasons so it just made me feel awful.

Asking about your future in 5 years can help some people. If it's not going to help you, tell your T so. She should then be able to re-adjust her approach and stick with what you want to focus on at the moment. Maybe later on you'll feel more able to think about what you want for yourself in 5 years.