[nottrustin]

Lately I have been reading a lot about more therapists burning out because of compassion fatigue, as well as just like us many of their forms of self care is unavailable. Also since many clients are needing additional help right now, some are working more. have you ever feared (now or in the past).

[susannahsays]

Yeah, I've worried about this. My therapist actually canceled a couple weeks ago because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her if she thought she had COVID (we were supposed to have an in person session for the first time in a few months the next week... now that seems to be indefinitely postponed). She said no and that she was "just stressed out from work and COVID." While I didn't really like hearing that she was stressed out from work (since I am work), I was glad to know she didn't have COVID.

I'm trying not to text her over the weekend at all, although I sometimes give in.

I am glad that she didn't choose to have sessions even though she was not feeling up to it.

[LonesomeTonight]

I worry about this, too. My T hasn't taken time off (that lasted more than a day or two) since the end of February (when he had a, in retrospect, well-timed vacation). He seems sad. As Susannah noted on the couch, I've mentioned his wiping away tears often lately. And he typically works 6 days a week, though not full days every day. He's also revealing more personal stuff since the pandemic started, which isn't like him. I mean, I like the changes in some ways, as he seems much more compassionate and empathetic. His arrogance is gone. However, I also worry a bit about him. As when I'd mentioned an article that said 20% of people with depression and/or anxiety were actually doing better in the pandemic, he was surprised and said that all of his clients seemed to be doing worse. I imagine it's a heavy burden to carry.


He's said that looking forward to the election is something that's getting him through, along with some other things, but I still get the sense it's really difficult. I think a huge difference here is that T's are experiencing the pandemic along with us. As opposed to, I'm experiencing the loss of a loved one right now, while T likely isn't. As in, a client is experiencing x, but T isn't. But everyone is going through this. I can see Covid fatigue happening. At some points, I've even found myself apologizing when lamenting stuff about the limitations and isolation, like, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're dealing with clients complaining about this every day...." And he's said he feels limited in how much he can help clients because he's doing teletherapy, which he realizes isn't the same as in person.


So, in some ways, I'm feeling this deeper connection to him, which is good. But I also wonder how sustainable it is, if this drags on for, say, another 6 months. In response to a question of whether he was definitely going back to in-person at some point, he said that if he had to keep doing virtual, he'd likely need to retire after 18 months of it. And I hope that won't happen, in part because it would mean the pandemic would continue ravaging for that long.... but also because I don't want him to leave. I was about to type that he's been my rock during this, but that's not accurate. More like he's been my stress ball, something squishy and yielding. But how long will a stress ball last if a bunch of people are squeezing it tightly every day?

[nottrustin]

I haven't really been too concerned because I know she is really good with self care. Plus she had to cut back her work hours at the beginning of this because of child care issues. Initially she intended foe it to be until her husband was done foe tthr summer. He is a college professor and the plan was she would work less until his break but I don't believe she has gone back to her regular schedule. However maybe a little stress on her part could explain some miscommunications we have had.

[Mountaindewed]

I worry about this too. The last session I had with her she acted like she was having a stroke and she couldn’t remember basic words and kept rubbing her head and apologizing and saying that she was feeling off. I saw on the Today Show that doctors have started reaching their breaking points. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before other healthcare workers and therapists reach their breaking point as well. That’s why I only email my therapist when absolutely necessary now and I don’t email her at all on the days she’s off.

[stopdog]

No. I would not have worried about such a thing at all. I don't see how the ones I hired could have compassion fatigue - they were not compassionate.

[atisketatasket]

No. Info seems pretty on the ball when it comes to prioritizing her needs.

She’s also said when I asked that most of her clients are just proceeding with their normal therapy (just via Zoom) with only occasional reference to the pandemic. But then she does serve a socioeconomic class unlikely to be very affected by it in practical terms.

[Amyjay]

This is one thing I appreciate about the strong boundaries my therapist holds. She does self care really well, and keeps work and home completely separate. She isn't available after hours at all. There are times that I haven't appreciated this boundary of hers, but on the whole I do like that I can absolutely trust her to hold firm boundaries not only for the sake of holding the therapeutic frame, but for maintaining strong self-care.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

No, my T has always seemed to be very good with self care and paying attention to not burning out. If our lockdown had gone on much longer, I think I might have worried a bit, since he likes to go swimming to work out and always stresses how important working out is to make yourself feel better. Pools were closed and running apparently hurt his joints. During that time I often thought about whether he's still able to work out somehow and if not, whether he might soon be too exhausted to work. But thankfully it wasn't for a long enough time to really make me worry.

[Omers]

Not full blown burn out but I can tell T isn’t as on top of things as he was prepandemic. A lot of his self care options just are not available and connecting with family through zoom just doesn’t do it for him. I sort of wish he would take a vacation but then I also know that it wouldn’t really help what is really bothering him.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I worry about this, too. My T hasn't taken time off (that lasted more than a day or two) since the end of February (when he had a, in retrospect, well-timed vacation). He seems sad. As Susannah noted on the couch, I've mentioned his wiping away tears often lately. And he typically works 6 days a week, though not full days every day. He's also revealing more personal stuff since the pandemic started, which isn't like him. I mean, I like the changes in some ways, as he seems much more compassionate and empathetic. His arrogance is gone. However, I also worry a bit about him. As when I'd mentioned an article that said 20% of people with depression and/or anxiety were actually doing better in the pandemic, he was surprised and said that all of his clients seemed to be doing worse. I imagine it's a heavy burden to carry.


He's said that looking forward to the election is something that's getting him through, along with some other things, but I still get the sense it's really difficult. I think a huge difference here is that T's are experiencing the pandemic along with us. As opposed to, I'm experiencing the loss of a loved one right now, while T likely isn't. As in, a client is experiencing x, but T isn't. But everyone is going through this. I can see Covid fatigue happening. At some points, I've even found myself apologizing when lamenting stuff about the limitations and isolation, like, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're dealing with clients complaining about this every day...." And he's said he feels limited in how much he can help clients because he's doing teletherapy, which he realizes isn't the same as in person.


So, in some ways, I'm feeling this deeper connection to him, which is good. But I also wonder how sustainable it is, if this drags on for, say, another 6 months. In response to a question of whether he was definitely going back to in-person at some point, he said that if he had to keep doing virtual, he'd likely need to retire after 18 months of it. And I hope that won't happen, in part because it would mean the pandemic would continue ravaging for that long.... but also because I don't want him to leave. I was about to type that he's been my rock during this, but that's not accurate. More like he's been my stress ball, something squishy and yielding. But how long will a stress ball last if a bunch of people are squeezing it tightly every day?

My T has also talked about more personal stuff. She has always been somewhat open. Just now it seems even more deeply personal. I wonder if, in my case, it is either because she knows I am really struggling with feeling a lack of connection and energy so trying to find a way to help with that OR if it is because she also might be a little off her game because she is sitting in her home spare bedroom vs office so she is unintentionally feeling less boundaried.

[SlumberKitty]

I am kind of fearful for my T because first she works at two clinics. She was exposed to someone who got COVID at the clinic I don't see her at. So she had to quarantine (still contacted clients via teletherapy). I saw her in person for the first time in months on Saturday. She seemed out of it a bit. She repeated herself some. I had to explain more than usual. She said something random to which I had no other response than, "What?" and she apologized and said her mind had "jumped" whatever that means. She just didn't seem as on top of it as she has been recently. I did have one session with her a while back, last year, that was just random where she made no sense at all. It left me worried she had sundowners or something like that. This session wasn't as bad as that one but reminded me of that. I know she is deathly terrified of COVID so I don't know if all the stress is getting to her. I do worry about her.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, Kit, I remember you writing about that other session, and it sounded really scary.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I do worry about this a lot, especially since my t didhave covid and she does not seem to be the same 'her' as before she got sick. my cousin had it too and even though he is also recovered and back to work, he gets exhausted so easily and i fear that she does too but won't say anything.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I am kind of fearful for my T because first she works at two clinics. She was exposed to someone who got COVID at the clinic I don't see her at. So she had to quarantine (still contacted clients via teletherapy). I saw her in person for the first time in months on Saturday. She seemed out of it a bit. She repeated herself some. I had to explain more than usual. She said something random to which I had no other response than, "What?" and she apologized and said her mind had "jumped" whatever that means. She just didn't seem as on top of it as she has been recently. I did have one session with her a while back, last year, that was just random where she made no sense at all. It left me worried she had sundowners or something like that. This session wasn't as bad as that one but reminded me of that. I know she is deathly terrified of COVID so I don't know if all the stress is getting to her. I do worry about her.

Hugs Kit

I cant imagine how hard that is.

[nottrustin]

I wonder if some might also dealing with depression that they otherwise have a better handle on?

[ArtleyWilkins]

Post-COVID health problems are a problem. Our 28-year-old daughter-in-law is dealing with long-term respiratory problems now.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I wonder if some might also dealing with depression that they otherwise have a better handle on?

I'm getting sort of a depressed vibe from mine. He's seemed darker than usual about certain things, like in a conversation we had about death yesterday after the passing of my uncle.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Post-COVID health problems are a problem. Our 28-year-old daughter-in-law is dealing with long-term respiratory problems now.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I hope she gets better with time. My cousin's husband had it a couple months ago and is still dealing with being exhausted all the time. I wish everyone would just wear their masks...

I think she was burnt out before Covid hit. A life of whisky and self-absorption will do that to a woman.

[coolibrarian]

My T has talked about talking to HER T, from time to time, in my sessions with her. I should add that my T didn't bring up her T first; I had asked some questions similar to this thread, trying to gauge how she was doing her self-care, and I asked her directly if she talks to a therapist and she said, "Yes."

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Post-COVID health problems are a problem. Our 28-year-old daughter-in-law is dealing with long-term respiratory problems now.

I am do sorry. We highly suspect my.husband had it in February. If he did in fact have it he is still dealing with the respiratory issue. He never had breathing issues now he si dependent on an inhaler and has to sit often to breathe. Prior to that he could work steadily for hours at a time with not side effects. He is 48

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I am do sorry. We highly suspect my.husband had it in February. If he did in fact have it he is still dealing with the respiratory issue. He never had breathing issues now he si dependent on an inhaler and has to sit often to breathe. Prior to that he could work steadily for hours at a time with not side effects. He is 48

I had no idea you all went through this. Why didn't you tell me?

[susannahsays]

I think my therapist was feeling kind of burnt out today - just had my session at noon. I got the feeling she didn't feel like talking. She's not exactly talkative usually, but seemed like she was extra unresponsive today.

I do happen to know the (3rd? 4th? Can't remember) anniversary of her son's death is this Friday. I don't know if she's the type of person who is really affected by dates/anniversaries or not. But I am determined to abstain from texting her from Thursday until next Wednesday. She just told me today that she won't be here next week for one of the appointments. I'm hoping that if this is a hard time for her, the absence is due to her doing something that will help her get through this time. Maybe visiting friends or something.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by stopdog

No. I would not have worried about such a thing at all. I don't see how the ones I hired could have compassion fatigue - they were not compassionate.

That is hilarious. Well, I mean...it probably wasn't hilarious then, but it sounds so now.