[Omers]

I talked to T1 today. He is not angry about me canceling on T2 although he is sad it didn’t work. I said I might be open to trying again another time when resources are not so low (emotional and financial). He thinks he might have an opening this week, he will call me whenever he gets into the office and let me know. I was kind of surprised he wasn’t going to try and have the three of us meet together and work it out. He did say that something must have just lined up perfectly when he and I met because we never had problems like I do with T2 and I have never totally flipped out on him like I do with T2. He did say he was going to talk to her again and get her perspective. He hasn’t ever seen me this unstable though and we need to get me feeling calm and safe again.
We got to just talk about hobbies a little bit too and laugh. He told me why he sounded so frustrated last night when he called. He was extremely frustrated but it was getting late and he wanted to check on me so he didn’t take the time to calm down and center. The frustration had nothing to do with me.
We also got to clarify some things that put me more at ease. I won’t be able to act on them until H goes to work Wednesday but I will be able to follow through.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm glad you were able to talk to him and hope you can see him this week. I wonder if maybe he's realizing that you and her aren't a good fit? And that's why he's not pushing for you to all meet?

[Omers]

I think he is not pushing because it isn’t his style and that is the biggest problem with her. I also think he flat out feels he needs more information. As her supervisor, if I were him, I would have some concerns when a client that is usually stable and flexible suddenly is extremely unstable and rigid every time they meet. He said today that he suggested to her that his thought was for her to be the fun playful one and he would be the strict one with the hard stuff. He wanted things light and easy with her and then the heavy duty work/trauma stuff with him. I told him my experience with her was very much the same as with previous therapists except that having worked with him I am better at expressing my needs and setting boundaries. I explained that I tried very hard to take what I learned from my early days with him to her... building the relationship as a foundation, the importance of good boundaries both ways, being contained/not going over my anxiety threshold and safety above all else. When I tried to do those with her I felt shut down, blown off and perceived as controlling. I told him I didn’t feel like there was any room for me in the room... he asked if the physical room was too small . So I explained how overpowering her personality, presence and need to control the process was.

Being her supervisor typically he gets her side of how she is struggling with a client based on her self perception. This time he gets both sides as inaccurate as they both may be... but it is a totally different view. I know she feels we are getting along great, she looks forward to seeing me and feels like we have really strong rapport. She doesn’t understand why I keep flipping out.

[stopdog]

I find it interesting that the original therapist set this up in such a way that triangulation was bound to occur. He set himself up to the one that the client would run to in order to complain about the second therapist. The second therapist was bound to fail under these conditions.

[Omers]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I find it interesting that the original therapist set this up in such a way that triangulation was bound to occur. He set himself up to the one that the client would run to in order to complain about the second therapist. The second therapist was bound to fail under these conditions.

I had brought that up as a concern but they felt it would be OK seeing as they had full permission to talk to eachother. Apparently T1 has successfully done something similar in the past just not with T2.