Has your therapist changed?

Since the pandemic has your therapist changed in their approach or what they disclose. I have noticed a couple of people here saying they have but wonder if it is common.

I had noticed T had disclosed a bit more than usual. I wondered if it has to do with some of her boundaries being blurred because she is at home instead of work or whatever Last week I brought up the feelings of disconnection which had seeped into me fear of judgment and wanting to quit therapy as a result. We went pretty in depth and I realized wanting to quit comes up when I am frustrated with the process or feeling too vulnerable.

Last night, we discussed my trauma. She was way more reassuring and validating than normal. She has always been reassuring not last night even more so. Last night she mentioned 3 times that she wished we were in her office so she could give me a hug. She also expressed anger at the manipulation the perp used. Then apologized because she is not supposed to express her feelings and emotions. Then she revealed something deeply personal about her past that she used to validate my thoughts and pain. It caught me off guard because even long term T who we blurred many boundaries lines never disclosed anything so personal. I suspect it was to show me that she would never judge my response because she understood on a personal level.

It was very helpful and I have never felt so supported and understood in an appointment. However, it makes me wonder of it was because the pandemic that she said what she said..and if she regrets the self disclosure after the appointment.

I would say that there has been a subtle shift following a period during the pandemic where we were only doing phone sessions. While my therapist was very helpful during that time, our time face-to-face now feels less genuine or connected than prior to the pandemic. Part of that may be due to feeling like I'm at a plateau with the therapist right now, though.

My T too discloses a bit more than usual. We have been back to in person sessions for a while now and it seems to be getting less again. But during our phone calls, there were a bunch of things that I think he'd normally not have shared. Like what kind of sports he usually likes to do, which wasn't possible during the lock down. He tried out some different activities and told me how they hurt his knees, stuff like that. I doubt he'd normally have told me. He also sometimes mentioned things about his own emotions, not connected to our session, for example that he was bothered by only sitting at home and sometimes went to his office to take calls from there, just to be outside. But it never felt like he was venting or that he needed me for emotional support.

I tend to agree with you, for me these disclosures helped me feel a lot closer to my T and I appreciate that he talked about these things. Now that we're back in his office, I feel that we are much closer on some level, and since he knows that he has mentioned certain things to me, sometimes he still talks about them. But there's much less 'new' disclosures, it's almost back to the level we were at before the whole pandemic thing started.

At the beginning, I would say yes, more self disclosure bordering on getting some of her needs for people contact met through our sessions. We still are not face to face. She has returned to her office and since then, I feel like it's gotten more like before but not completely.

Part of the shift is also the limitations of virtual visits on my type of therapy. So, maybe there's some compensation going on because of those limitations.

I too am struggling with continuing as the weeks have turned into months and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. My county has no plans to open up further and we are under mask orders for all indoor venues and even outdoor venues if 6ft cannot be maintained. I don't see that lifting anytime soon either.

my state has the same regulations as your. T suspects we will not be back in her office until next summer.

I wonder if the more self disclosure is related to knowing she has do do things differently to help foster connection for me. Since we have discussed that so many times. As well as to help me trust that she is not judging me negatively on an emotional level.

Also, she knew long term T and I had very loose boundaries which was. helpful and I could handle it

I don not think Ts disclosure last nigh or any other time had to do with her getting her needs met. There have been a couple of times she has said things that I disagreed with and were things she did not have experience with such as parenting teens (her child is 5). She realized that she only had book experience in that are and changed her responses after that. I think last nights disclosure was about showing me that how I handled things as a teen were very complex and gave her information to say "it was hard for me as an adult so be gentle with yourself"

Same I would say that my T has disclose about herself a lot more than previously.

Which actually works better because then I feel like the relationship I have with her isn't so distant anymore and it's better therapeutically.

Well, we all know my T is a *tad* different even pre-COVID but yes, things have changed. My T will self disclose when he senses I am dissociating to bring me back and often he knows me well enough to self disclose something that is similar to what I am scared to talk about... it opens the space. His pre-covid accuracy was amazing... lately not so much, but some could be because my struggles are different. But... I am learning all sorts of random stuff about T... until I dissociate, then I can’t remember it.
The biggest thing I see with him is he needs a break and he needs to physically be away from the office. His office is near his home so stay-cautioning with covid just doesn’t work for him.

I think they are using self disclosure as a way to bridge the gap of virtual therapy. To make us feel closer when they are away from us physically.

Also everyone is going through some kind of trauma in relation to this pandemic, so maybe it levels everyone out a bit.

My therapist always self-disclosed, which I appreciate.

As for changing during teletherapy - yes. She has brought in CBT hard-core. It's helpful, I'm okay with it. Our connection is slightly flimsier than it was, which is really unfortunate. It ebbs and flows more easily. I see her working harder to be as deeply connected as we were.

I try not to dwell on the more negative changes, because there's nothing to be done for the coming year or so.

L's a lot more directive on zoom sessions than she is in person. I don't much like that but at the same time it has been helpful for me, so go figure!! We're back to in person now at least for the time being, wearing masks and sitting farther apart and no hugs or handshakes or anything like that.

I don't think my therapist has changed so much due to the pandemic and she doesn't seem to disclose more or less. On phone call appointments (she doesn't do Zoom or Skype) she does have to talk more because I talk less. In person she seems the same. Somewhat flightly, somewhat ridiculous, perfectly lovely.

I love your description of her.

My therapist seems to have more time for me now then she did before. Right before covid she was always talking about how she didn’t have time to call me because another client was in crisis or she didn’t have the time because of her other clients. Now it seems she has a lot more time and she has time between sessions too to send emails and ask me how I’m feeling and stuff.