Is this just weird?

When the sessions have been emotional and really intense, my therapist has said the following to me, at various times over the past few months:

You mean too much to me
You're precious to me
I would love to be your friend
I've grown quite attached a bit, to you

Is this normal behaviour in person centered therapy? Is it genuine or is it just part of a method employed because she wants me to feel cared for and valued by someone. She once asked me if I believed her, did I think she would do that to me (lie about her feelings for me).

On the one hand I don't think she would lie, on the other I can't believe she means it in the way I'm taking it... Perhaps my desire to feel cared about by someone, is making me read more into it than there is.

I don't feel able to ask her about it, because I'd be mortified and embarrassed if she didn't mean it in the way it comes across.

I'd appreciate any opinions on this.

This one seems a little weird to me—what does "too much" mean?

I don't think it's bad or weird for a therapist to express warm or friendly feelings towards a client, and if she says it I think you can assume she means it. How do you interpret it?

Judging by just the sentences alone, no; but context is extremely important, so I guess they could be adequate within certain circumstances.

If it's not genuine, it is not person-centered. Though certain orientations apply manipulation, person-centered approach proscribes it (see: textbooks by Mearns & Thorne).

This is probably a very difficult situation. It comes back to trusting I guess. In my opinion talking it over with your therapist would be the best option, but that's something that would have you in a very vulnerable place. Would you trust her that she would be real and respond in a human way?

I think all four statements sound strange. I wonder why would a t want to take the professional relationship to such a personal level?

Mean “too much”? That’s strange

Is english her first language?

She wants to be your friend? Huge red flag. Therapists are NOT your friends.

Sorry but yes, sounds weird and alarms bells are ringing here.

There seems to be a major blurring of boundaries here. She would love to be your friend(?!)... has become attached to you... you are precious to her?! That is inappropriate i.e. could cause transference and lead to a slippery slope. And frankly, she seems rather insecure..

I agree with this assessment. Though if English isn't her first language, like Una said, that could partly explain it.

Also, was she just saying these things spontaneously? Or was she, say, replying to your asking a question, like, "Do I really mean something to you?"

East17, how long have You been working with Your current therapist ? I know You don't feel able to ask her, but if it is established, long relationship nothing else will help to resolve Your doubts better. We can only guess. With competent therapist such a discussion usually makes trust and healthy therapeutic relationship stronger. You do not have to share Your interpretation. Tell her what You appreciate her for, that she sometimes says (quote her words) and that You know that therapists are usually not becoming friends with their clients. Then ask her to tell You more about it and let You understand better what it means. At least it would be my way of approaching such a discussion. It is not a matter of having easy discussions It is having discussion which are worth having.

It's really easy to quote sentences which contain endearments and yet hang without context. Consequently, other posters might react with concerns about boundary issues. It is not weird for therapists from humanistic modalities to express care, love, or connection with clients. My therapist has expressed deep emotion for me, which makes me feel uncomfortable but is not necessarily unprofessional of her.

The important aspect is that you feel uncomfortable with what she has said. For you, it is weird. It sounds like it is weird for you to hear that someone cares about you. I would consider this to be my work.

Of course, all this is assuming you have no other red flags about her practice. I suppose all I mean is that expressions of love or near-love are not necessarily or inherently unethical or strange.

My opinion is that what she said is weirder than weird! I would maybe let the first statement slide, but the other three....umm....NO. It feels more than unprofessional. It is inappropriate at best. She sounds either immature or manipulative. "You're precious to me". Who says that out loud to a client. Being cared for is great....even though that is not what the therapist is being paid for. Trust yourself...it's weird, really weird.

Thanks to everyone who has responded.

Some background context: I have huge trust issues. Find it very hard to open up. Getting me to be able to verbalise any kind of feeling or emotion is like getting blood out of a stone.

Yes English is her first language.
All the statements were initiated by her in the course of trying to get me to open up and trust her. I've never asked her what she thought or felt about me.

Is it that her weird sentences were only about "opening you up" - instead of being genuine expressions - that makes it hard for you to confront her on this?