Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

I spent the last few hours at my school’s speech and hearing lab testing a new setting hearing aids in a study. It’s supposed to help you hear soft speech better.

I was absolutely terrible at one test where you had to identify nonsense words in a three-word sentence. You can tell if you’re terrible because every right answer gets you a piece of a puzzle. I got maybe 50% puzzle done.

So I don’t know, but it was an interesting thing to do between classes.

thanks! i'm thinking about it, designating any proceeds for my hawaii fund is a great idea!


that's cool about the stickers!

My friend who lost her job texted with me a bit ago. She says she is really fine. She doesn't think about it anymore and she is enjoying the quiet time. She said she hasn't cried over it or lost sleep. (I would be a right mess if I lost my job!) She says she just wants me to be happy and well. We texted back and forth a bit and I am relieved to hear from her and hear that she sounds the same as she ever did (as much as anyone can sound like anything over text). So I probably don't need to be checking in on her as much as I have been. (Usually morning and night, sometimes morning, afternoon, and night.) Maybe she just doesn't really check her phone over the weekend or she was busy with her family or something. I don't know. Now I feel silly for being rather panicky about it because she is fine (more fine than I am). But it was good to "talk" to her.

I love walking in the house and immediately seeing a gift from the cats. Put down purse and jacket, pick up broom and right the trash can. They were considerate enough to keep the spread within a 3 foot radius of the can, so that was nice of them.

My oldest daughter figured out a way to keep the kitchen tidy. Clean it, take everyone that lives in your house, and leave. When you get back it might still be tidy. We didn't qualify for any brownies or house elves, more's the pity.

Hope all the couchies are well and safe.

With cats, the bar for considerate is extremely low

If someone who was not my lover checked in on me more than once a week or month, I would not like it at all.
I would think they were trying to make themselves feel better. It would be extremely intrusive

I check in on most of my friends once a day. More if I know they are going through something. And likewise most of my friends check in with me daily. I mean close friends. Not acquaintances. But my closest 3-4 friends. One of my close friends her mom just died and she said she wouldn't be as available (understandably) so I have been texting her every 2 to 3 days but I am not worried if I don't get a response because I know she has a lot to deal with. Eventually she texts me a thanks and a love you. So I know she likes knowing that I am thinking about her.

I think it really depends on the friendship. I have a couple friends I message with daily or at least every couple days. Others more weekly or monthly. Or I might talk to them a bunch in one week, then not again for another month or two. Others, I might just talk to a few times a year. I think much of it comes down to what's normal for you and your friendships, Kit.

My sister is the only person I have ever texted with daily. And even then we skip some days or only message once or twice on others. (I think we hit a record the day of the Capitol riot, almost 100 texts.)

Most of my friends, we have a brief spate of texts or emails periodically. Then silence, then a spate...etc.

Kit, you sometimes wonder what to work on in therapy between crises. Perhaps not taking others' behavior as a personal comment on you would be one topic.

The couch used to be where you had to say good morning and good evening to everyone individually every day and every night. You couldnt just appear. I could not handle the pressure. I felt like l'alleumeur - the lamplighter - in the petit prince. My job was already like that, if anybody remembers the Dunkin Donuts guy with the mustache who used to meet himself coming and going with "Time to make the donuts!" Oh - not that i was working at the time.

Which reminds me - i finally retired from work in my dreams! I was aware of it being in my dreams, it was weird! Heres hoping i have stopped dreaming about work so much!

Yeah, trying not to take things personally. That's a good topic for me.

I used a little of my overtime $ to buy myself this pretty little fairy light tree. Penny approves.

Ooh pretty

What? No it didn't - or at least no I didn't do that - good lord that would have been impossible for me.
I really don't know what you are talking about

Corn does surprisingly well in a quiche.

I don't text daily with anyone - but it depends on the friendship for me. We usually just check in with each other if someone is going through something. If someone texted me several times a day *I* would be annoyed - but that's me.

Nicodemus sounds like a great cat @@

It is kind of fun to dehydrate as well. If you only half dehydrate it - it is a chewy corn snack. If you completely dehydrate it - it will break your teeth until you rehydrate it

Yeah you were in the library with the colonel and the candlestick. They respected you. They werent afraid to pick on me - they could smell fear.

I am sorry to hear that.

Yeah how do people eat those Corn Nuts snacks? Next time i need a crown, i am going to just pull the tooth and stick in a Corn Nut (tm).

But weren’t you the peacock lady with the lead pipe?

It's something that's been a topic for me as well. To consider that if someone is in a bad mood, it might have nothing to do with me. And that if one is worried about it, it can be better just to ask. There have been times I've thought friends were annoyed with me, and they were like, "What are you talking about?" Or where I'd ask H and he'd say it was about work.

I suspect you're hypervigilant like me, which can mean we pick up on things that the other person doesn't even realize they're putting out. Like I might be able to detect their bad mood or that they're sad, when they might not even be fully aware of it. So it can be confusing to them if we ask them about it. As they're not as in touch with their emotions. But awkward as it can be, I've also come to learn that it can often be best to just ask, to check in with the other person. This is something that Dr. T has taught me, so a more recent lesson, and one I'm still working on.

I dont know! I have never played Clue!

But you’re just like Eileen Brennan in the movie!

Or, you think you’re picking up on things, but in fact you’re looking for things to think are your fault and beat yourself up about. Hypervigilance does not mean you’re in better touch with someone else’s emotions than they are.

And yeah it can be better to ask, under certain conditions, but when I am in a bad mood, one of the things guaranteed to make it worse is someone else assuming or asking if it’s really about them. No. My bad mood is about me. Let me wallow in it.

watch the movie.It is a star studded disaster