Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

Artie is that a chipmunk? Are the cactus that jump on you?

it's a rock squirrel. and yeah, that one pic is of a "jumping" cholla. they were really glowing in the bright sunlight today! the spiny sections break off super easy and stick to you but as long as you respect them and don't get too close, they leave you alone

The desert looks better than the icy weather here. We are stuck in the polar vortex for another 10 days

Its helping me save money. I dont want to ask for anything to be delivered in this weather. And to go to the little store, i need to take a bath. Like thats gonna happen! Maybe tonight.

Finished one of the slippers for my military brother (found camouflage yarn actually!) just now.

Perhaps you could budget for cash payments by cutting down on what you spend giving gifts to others?

Ex's PO called me today to ask where I was on getting his stuff back to him. To be honest, I've bought the padlock for the storage facility that I haven't found yet and that's it. She wanted to know if I'd mail her his driver's license and other documents (SS card, birth certificate) because he was going to miss out on some opportunity without the DL. First, eff him. He's the one that left his DL laid out all neatly next to a kitchen knife on our sofa for me to find like he was waiting for some suicide by cop scenario to play out. How is it now my urgent responsibility to get his DL to him? Also, am I a bad person because I have such mixed feelings about helping him out right now?

You are not a bad person. His urgent sh**storm does not mean you have to dive in with the shovel.

Can his P.O. help him find a storage facility and he can pay a mover to pick up and deliver his stuff there? That seems way more reasonable than expecting you to do it.

I don't think you're a bad person.

A lot has been going on and I feel bad because on my old account I was much more able to leave kind words and supportive comments even though my home life was bad.

My life is objectively better and I'm finally getting the psychiatric help I need but... I guess ptsd reared it's head, and apparently I've alters. They showed up saying they kept their existence hidden until I was in a safe enough environment.

I have no idea how to tell my trauma sensitive gender psychiatrist that ny gender identity (with a gender dysphoria dx) is confused again as these alters have their own genders.

Really glad T is still with me... she says I'm really fragmented and she took "omfg I have other mes emerging?!" in her stride.

I am normally on Instagram because yea this is a public forum and I'm suddenly uncomfortable but I try my best to catch up on several threads even if I give hugs really late.

Y'all rock.

I LOVED him on diagnosis murder!

Don't feel bad. You're doing as much as you can do. I have times I only post in the Dear T thread.

Glad you're getting more support.

All of those documents can be replaced with copies from the relevant agencies or retaking the driver’s test. There is no need for you to be involved. Likewise what WFS said about the storage unit and moving. He can get it his own damn self.

I am with you. Eff him.

Hugs, you're always so kind and I really hope things get better for you.

I will be okay + I have Roo panes in my life.

"Storms may come... "

I am sorry to hear all that. Frankly everything like DL, SS card and even birth certificate could be obtained again. It might be faster to request duplicates than waiting for you to do it. He can ask for replacement of all those documents. I lost both DL and SS and it took me no hassle to get new ones. It’s no big deal. Nothing urgent there at all. Sure it’s slower during covid but you can still apply to replace lost documents. PO is kind of full of it.

I agree. I needed a certified copy of my birth certificate to get one of the Real ID driver's licenses in my state a year or two ago, and I was able to order one from the county health department. With driver's license, I imagine he could say he lost his, then use birth certificate if needed to get new one.

And agreed on storage unit, too. Could you maybe do...now I forget what it's called. Where they deliver a storage cube to you, you put stuff in it, then they haul it away?

My organic chemistry professor in college had a sign in her door that said, “don’t let your lack of preparation become my emergency.” In a weird way, I think that idea applies here — you have no obligation to help fix the mess he’s gotten himself into.

Hugs, QM. I'm glad you have your T as well. And you rock, too!

Hmmm...I'm envisioning this in bold flashing letters atop my every syllabus.

Of course that would require students to read the syllabus.

I would put it more as a declaration:
Your lack of preparation is not my emergency

That's Awesome Artie. Where did you find camo yarn? I would love to make a scarf out of that!

Yeah, true. I budgeted my spending this year to include 14% charitable giving so there is still some wiggle room there. It needs to be at least 10% in the tenets of my religion. And then I give gifts to friends and family that are sometimes costly.


Ex: My dad's birthday is coming up. I asked him what he wanted. He told me what it was but I had no idea what he was talking about so he showed me on his phone. I found it on Amazon for $122 dollars (I was planning on spending more like $50.) But I bought the whatever it is that he wanted. But I think I am going to ask my Mom to split the cost with me because that is way over my budget for birthday gifts.


Then I have the "I'm going to spoil so and so" problem where I gift friends things just because. If I didn't do that there would be more wiggle room for therapy.


I guess what it comes down to is me being willing to take on the risk of change and give up the T that is nice but maybe not oh so helpful. I could go back to Pastor T. He's free. But he makes me do stuff like memorize scripture passages and call random people for socialization. I am going to look at Psychology today and see what is out there. It's been a while since I looked. That somehow feels disloyal to T just writing that. Hmm. I have BIG feelings I need to sort out.

Kit, I understand your fear of being disloyal to your T. But I think she would completely understand if you need someone with more availability. Maybe someone with a different approach than your current T would be more helpful, too. Plus she hasn't sounded overly reliable, being late for sessions, forgetting you were supposed to meet, etc. If nothing else, many T's offer a free phone or video consultation--you could try that and see how it feels. Or try a session or two, see what it feels like.


Also, in terms of cost, does your insurance offer any sort of out-of-network benefits? My current plan reimburses 50% for out-of-network providers, including mental health (last year's was 60%, but H's company changed plan options). You'd have to submit the paperwork for reimbursement yourself, but it's not too bad. You could call them and ask. So it still might cost more than what you pay your T now, but less than a T's full charge. Though it would be after you meet deductible, so take that into account.