Is your counselor/therapist the only one you meet during a normal week?

For me, my counselor is the only one I meet on a regular basis, mostly once a week. I have nobody else as my family of origin live far away and I have no family of my own. I don't have any friends I meet in person and I also don't work.

As I don't have work, nor a partner I feel noone would be interested in dating me, nor become my friend. I'm also very ashamed for how my life turned out and that I've failed to accomplish most of the important milestones in life.

My only direct meeting with someone is with my counselor who's now more than an acquaintance to me than a counselor. She can't give me the treatment I need but I stay with her both because my lack of options and because I like her as a person.

The relationship though feels very fragile as she not dependent on me as I'm with her. It's a very limited relationship but I need to handle that as she's the only close person I have.

Yes he is the only one I have seen regularly this last year, covid made it impossible to see anyone I know as they live in different parts of the country. Unless you count the few people I work with at the hospital, but they aren't really my friends. I have been off work sick since New years so I haven't seen them anyway.

Hopefully we get more chances to meet new people (if you feel like it) when the rules get relaxed and we can travel around more.

I only see my therapist every other week. I usually meet up with a friend once a week for religious studies. And I have coworkers so I see them 5 days a week but have little interaction with them. I live with my parents so I see them at dinner every night. Once a month I see some people from Church when I do the food distribution although this month it will conflict with therapy so I won't be able to do that. So I see a few people but not as many as Pre-Covid.

If your area is completely locked due to covid, then it’s understandable you can’t see anyone. But if it’s at least partially open maybe you can try to engage with people somewhat, in a limited fashion? I know you said you cannot work, but what about volunteering? That takes pressure off. You can always quit if it doesn’t work out. I’d give it a try.

Nothing to be ashamed. You still have life ahead of you. I’d ask your counselor what could you do to obtain at least part time employment or volunteer position or meet some people? At least come you with a plan for after covid eases out (when is that going to happen..)

Currently with the pandemic, my T is the only person I meet during the week. Before that, there was often one day where I'd meet some friends. I'm excluding my partner who lives with me here.

This sounds like an exact description of my relationship with my T. I've been to various therapists over the years and have probably gotten the most progress I'm going to get out of therapy, I mostly now use it as a tool to not perish of loneliness. I live with my family but they're toxic and I stay in my room avoiding them. I'm autistic and depressed and just don't have the energy to develop friendships right now. My T is the only person I have. Our sessions are either spent ranting about my toxic homelife or bonding over some random concept. We've talked about many things, philosophy, war, art, etc. I do really enjoy him as a person which is rare for me and I admittedly envy having not bonded with him in a different setting so we could have been real friends but I still appreciate everything he helps me out as the role of my therapist. Once I get out of the toxic home I'm stuck in right now, hopefully, I won't be so depressed and will have the energy to put into real friendships but for now, it's just T and I.

Yeah I only see her. I see my Pdoc every 6 weeks or so. My mom and my T are the only ones I basically ever talk to. I need to find a job or a hobby so I can talk more to other people and so my thoughts aren’t constantly revolved around therapy.

I swear my move may actually save my life. Literally.

Thanks. I relate to what you describe. My mother and my counselor are more or less the only people I talk to during a week. I don´t count people from the authorities like the employment agency and similar.

My counselor knows, at least to some extent, that I live by myself and that I have more or less nobody but as she isn´t a therapist she can´t really work with me on that. We state how things are and not so much more. Does your T try to support you in some way to meet with new friends or similar?

Hi Sarah, I hope you don't mind me suggesting this. What do you think of joining a church? You could visit churches and find one that you like. It is just something that I thought of. I'm wondering what you think of this idea.

I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

My therapist and I were discussing how isolating this last year has been. He was working from home and did LOTS of jigsaw puzzles, etc. Normally, he's a social butterfly. He joined a dance club a few years ago - not something he had ever done in his life, and they used to meet regularly to go dancing. He's missed that, but it looks like that group is getting ready to start up again soon. I'm sure he's ready.

I did work in person, so that helped on my end because my usual outlets of church and chorus were limited. We zoomed fairly regularly, but I get it; it's not quite the same. Fortunately, things are probably getting more back to normal in late August again. I'm going to need those activities now more than ever since my husband passed recently.

But sometimes you have to find ways to get out and interact with the world.

Volunteering is one thing many people do. If you are a church-goer, that can help, but not everyone is part of a church community. Things are starting to open back up a bit, so more opportunities should present themselves. Schools, public libraries, our local recreation centers often use volunteers for youth camps. Animal shelters. Our youth sports activities often need coaches or referees.

Then there are interest activities. If you are a musician, there are generally many opportunities to interact with people there. I have a friend who loves plants and is part of a club that meets and shares that interest. My niece does some sort of exercise group that meets early in the morning - they have faithfully exercised together even during the pandemic virtually and she's made good friends through that exercise (and has lost 60 lbs to boot and I don't think it is very expensive at all.) Book clubs are a great way to have conversation - check out your library or book stores for information about these.

You sort of have to work at it to find a way to get yourself out there, but there are ways to do it.

I thought I was alone in this.

I see my therapist twice/week and she's my connection to the outside world. Her, and my pdoc every other week. I am married, but we haven't lived together for many years and see each other only a few times for a few hours each week (although I am very grateful for that).

I have life-long friends, but they're all very normal and own houses and new cars and all that stuff. I have 2 grown children, but don't see them much. My social connections are on Facebook and here.

No - it never would have been and throughout covid I have a pod of friends and we met daily with some and weekly with others

sarahsweden Im confused last week you posted this thread I ended it with my counselor

did you decide to go back to this one that you have been having so much trouble with or do you have a new one?

During the pandemic, certainly - except for my partner, with whom I live.

Before the pandemic, I'd regularly meet co-workers at work, but outside of work it was about the same, sometimes I'd meet friends but not very often.

Post-pandemic, it will probably be about the same.

This is an old thread. It was resurrected somehow

So this thread we are right now posting in is an old thread and the one I linked to dated 5/6/21 - 5/10/21 is the newer thread. guess I need to pay more attention to the dates on the posts too lol

Thanks. I´m not that religious but I have had some contacts with different churches in the past and met with priests and others for chats and brief counselling. Thanks for thinking about me.

Thanks. No, I did end my contact with that counselor, it was just that someone posted in this older thread and by that it´s shown at the top of list of topics.