Why Do I think T is going? Where is it she's going? plz Respond!

Oh man- For the past 2 weeks now the following thoughts have entered my mind.

T hates me-
T is leaving-
T thinks I'm annoying-
T is going to cancel on me-
T is going to stop her practice-

Why? I'm in a deep deep connection with my T at the moment yet why do these thoughts come in my mind and scare me soooooooooooo bad? You wouldnt believe just how much they enter my head. Ok school has been giving me a rough time for exmaple- so Tuesday I call home...mom comes and get me I'm in tears so I call T.....I call 3 times in a row ( first 2 times on a cell phone- then i remembered dad would be leaving with it so I got scared and called back on the house phone telling her to call it instead).....then in between waiting for her to call I keep saying oh my god she hates me...she thinks I'm annoying BLAH BLAH BLAH!

She calls back- tells me to come in 2 hours later- we have a wonderful session- I even talk to her about these thoughts she said...."Because I dont call back instantly or e-mail you back doesnt mean I hate you- it means I'm busy...I have a personal life...I dont hate you- I'm busy...she smiled when she told me that....it made me feel better.....she told me to remember her voice saying that when I feel that way......

Then I make up something else....this time.....she's going to cancel on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I spend all day at school "oh god its snowing T is going to cancel"...I get home ask mom mentions nothing about T calling...so I go to my session....she's their...I tell her "all day long I thought you where going to cancel"...she said "I live a mile down the road- only way I'd cancel is if I were sick"....OMG i should know this i've been seeing her for 6 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok 2 days in a row my school is closed because of snow...my next appointment is next wednesday.....all is on my mind is "oh god she's gonna cancel, she's gonna leave"......so I keep telling myself no she's not no she's not...she's going to stay.....

Does anyone...or did anyone have this problem at some point in therapy? bahhhhhhhhhh I feel like giving up...and crying.......i wish i would cry

plz help!

(((Dustin)))

I have been through every single one of these emotions with T, so you are right in the ballpark with the rest of us!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
T hates me-
T is leaving-
T thinks I'm annoying-
T is going to cancel on me-
T is going to stop her practice-

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Do these feel familiar in any way? Have you experienced these feelings with a loved one?

It's okay. You are as normal (or not) as any of us.

Love & Hugs

xoxoxoxoxoox

haha i always get freaked out when it snows or is supposed to snow when i have therapy. (even though my T has rarely canceled in the past because of snow)

yes yes a thousand times (a day) yes.

Fears like these are normal in the therapy process once you truly begin to trust a T. Abandonment issues are peaked, because now that you are trusting the T to stay and help you, and you also beging to really share those "secrets", you are certain the T will leave "because" of your new relationship.

Keep sharing your fears with the T, and through discussion and constant reassurance, you will get through this. ((hugs))