Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

I also don't find "It's going to be OK" to be helpful. I'd prefer something like (depending on the situation), "I know this is really difficult" or "I'd be stressed about it, too" or "I understand why you're worried." I want validation rather than placation (is that a word? to be placated). Something like, "You'll get through it, whatever happens" is OK though.

I do not find it helpful for the therapist or anybody to say something is going to be ok unless they have a valid argument to mitigate my concerns. If someone has no evidence to the contrary, such an assertion only makes me feel alienated and misunderstood, and like the other person expects me to act like everything's coming up roses. If someone tells me things are going to work out, I will want to know how. I'd personally benefit more from an acknowledgement that things may not work out than what would strike me as a meaningless platitude.

Some must find it useful, though, or else it wouldn't be such a prevalent response. Those people might be on the receiving end , but I suspect a platitude is given just as often for the comfort and convenience of the person seeking to "say the right thing."

I have sometimes said that I hope something works out, but have never felt comfortable telling someone else something will be ok when I have no idea if it will. Perhaps my reticence is just as self serving as an empty reassurance, or perhaps I am just perverse in being able to withstand the worries of others. Hard to know.

I filled out paperwork so I could see a new psychologist. I feel really effed up after writing down all the medications I take and my diagnosis and things like that. It's making me feel negatively about myself.

Another take might be that the list shows you are taking care of yourself, getting the resources (meds etc) that you need to lead a productive and interesting life.

Thanks for that stopdog.

I think the problem started when I was filling out paperwork for the new psychologist and it asked what medications you are on and they only gave three lines. I attached a piece of paper so I could list all my medications and that made me feel effed up because I was like, geez I'm on a lot of meds. But I'm (mostly) stable on these meds.


Another question was what medications have you tried and didn't work. They gave two lines for that. One) I can't even remember all the medications I've been on that haven't worked. Two) two lines is not enough. I just said I can't remember all of these and skipped the question.


But as I will likely be on meds for life, and meds allow me to function (better) in society, then it is good to be grateful for the opportunity to have them.

I don't think I would like to hear "It's going to be okay" from L. My response would be "HOW DO YOU KNOW!" What she has suggested in the past is that I tell myself "Things always work out for me" or something along those lines. I guess that's true as far as it goes - I mean, things do always work out one way or another even if the particular way they "work out" is that I adjust to something that happens I don't like and come to acceptance of it. Like with our bankruptcy and losing our house in CA (which has been a long time ago now). I wasn't happy about it, it sucked, it was hard to go through, but I got through it and it worked out and we have rebuilt our credit over the years.



eta: HA. I suppose I should apply that axiom to the current situation with her, huh. It will work out. In some way or other.

I enjoy the banality of someone telling me that everything will be ok. I don't believe a word of it of course, but I welcome the fantasy that it might be possible to mollify me in such a way. How lovely it would be to be soothed so easily.

I feel similarly SK. I have tried so many medications at this point that when a doctor asks, I respond with “the better question is what haven’t I tried?” I am managing on the medications I’m on now. It’s like I was telling pdoc today, I don’t feel stable per se, but I’m not planning to do anything drastic. It’s okay to not be okay. It shows that we are invested in our well being.

The people who tend to be the ones making forms are not healthcare providers. They may not have perspective on what a reasonable amount of space is. They will also be trying to fit the form into a size that doesn't deplete resources like paper and ink, and space in the file room if they are not fully digitized, unnecessarily. At least half of patients would have to have extensive med lists for it to make sense to devote more space - but that doesn't mean you are an outlier or unusual.

Many forms I've filled out even specify to continue med lists on the blank backside because it is common to run out of space.

When did golf carts become a thing outside of arizona and florida retirement communities. They are popping up all over the place around here.

Are you near some sort of group of medical or office buildings or shopping center? Maintenance sometimes use golf carts at places like that.

I did walk past a fast food place recently where a golf cart was waiting in line in the drive thru. Which I had never seen before.

No - no these are usually couples in their 20s riding around to a restaurant or bar.

Can you get a DUI if you are only driving a golf cart?

Retail therapy: I've had a couple of rough weeks emotionally. Just a ton of stuff going on with my family and then the thing with former T, argh, and something going between me and a friend of mine.


So: I bought a new dress, two new shirts, and two pairs of leggings.


I only feel slightly better.

Oh weird! There's a big apartment community near my daughter's school, where I think maintenance uses them to go from one area to another, but I've never heard of them being driven to bars and things like that.

Pretty sure yes--rules of the road. No hope for drunk drivers there.

Of course I am surprised golf carts are even allowed to be on the road.

ETA: I bet the drunk-driving golf cart scene at The Villages is lit.

I've seen more golf carts around here recently (Southern CA) since like the Pandemic began. Maybe people just wanted a gadget/toy to occupy time during the crisis.

Hugs, Kit. My list of medications I've tried is quite long as well. I seem really prone to side effects, including from over-the-counter stuff. Like if I'm having allergy issues, would I rather deal with them? Or feel fuzzy-headed from Zyrtec (or anxious from Claritin, get a headache from Allegra, or get knocked out by Benadryl or hydroxyzine?) And that's with often taking half the adult dose. (I won't list all the psych med side effects here...)

But I agree with Stopdog, that it shows you're doing your best to take care of yourself.

Today's victory against agoraphobia: Walking to pick up D from school (it's less than a mile round trip) and also having a brief conversation with her teacher (outside, both masked). Normally H picks her up, but he had a meeting. I would normally drive, but it was nice out, so figured I'd get some exercise, too. It was sweet--D was holding my hand for part of the way home.

Well done, LT!

I second what Kit said! That's great LT! And that is a sweet image, her holding your hand part of the way home.

I got a bit of an honor today at work, I'm featured in the current Global Customer Service newsletter because of a Kudo that one of our high touch members sent in about the service I provided them. He/she (I don't know who it was lol) wrote a very nice letter. I was asked to submit a picture and a quote about how I ensure my success or something like that when I was nominated for the article. I'd forgotten all about it, and so when the newsletter came out today I was all surprised. It made me feel a little bit better about things going on at work lately.

You can get a DUI riding a horse in some places.

Awesome, Artie! Great job! Shine, girl, shine!