Couch 227 - The Safe Couch

SlumberKitty · May 18, 2021, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Slumber - thats probably the conversation you most need to have. I say this because im a HUGE doorbell ditcher! We dont expect the other person to act and react rationally if we just tell them what we want, probably because our mother never did. No, she had to win every fight. So we avoid all confrontation now.

Well not any more! This morning i sent my apartment manager an email telling him to convert my heat unit LAST (on friday), not FIRST (at 10 am today!). Well i asked nicely, pointing out that this was the first time i had missed the deadline. And the guys didnt even knock!

You put all that energy into writing up your work process. It seems kinda symbolic for you wanting to quit this t. Speaking up for myself has been one of the greatest things ive learned to do for myself. I will be here cheering you on.

Thanks Unaluna. Well I just did it over text, before I saw your post. I just said thanks for all the help but I need more help with hallucinations so I am going to try Dr. K for a bit. I might be back, I hope you will be happy to see me if I come back, I might just need a couple of sessions from Dr. K but I don't think my insurance will pay for two T's. Thank you for all your help with the SH. Take care Love Kit.

Basically that is what I said. Now I am waiting for the response. If any.

SlumberKitty · May 18, 2021, 02:30 PM

Regular--now ex? T--responded saying that she would be happy to see me again if that ever meets my needs. And best wishes always. I feel kind of crappy breaking up with her on text message but I never would have said it aloud in person. Now I can just focus on Dr. K and see if he is a good fit for me.

SlumberKitty · May 18, 2021, 02:31 PM

Oh my gosh, three more hours of work. I really need to find something to do with my self. I could update my budget. Ugh.

Lemoncake · 02:49 PM

Well done Kit. I'm proud of you for doing what's best for you.

Lemoncake · May 18, 2021, 02:38 PM

@@ I think you might like this show.

This one for you Una

"He's either the best doctor I've come across or a sociopath".

And for anyone else who wants a drama movie where the lead cast member doesn't look like a high school student but someone in their late 20s

LonesomeTonight · May 18, 2021, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Regular--now ex? T--responded saying that she would be happy to see me again if that ever meets my needs. And best wishes always. I feel kind of crappy breaking up with her on text message but I never would have said it aloud in person. Now I can just focus on Dr. K and see if he is a good fit for me.

I'm glad she responded well and is open to seeing you again. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for you. When do you see Dr. K again?

LostOnTheTrail · May 18, 2021, 03:56 PM

Thanks, Cake.

Dear Evan Hansen looks really good - although I think I would need tissues?

Take care,

Lost

SlumberKitty · May 18, 2021, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I'm glad she responded well and is open to seeing you again. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for you. When do you see Dr. K again?

I see Dr. K and my case manager/care coordinator lady Kayla on the 25th, both telehealth.

Daffydungle · May 18, 2021, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Is it not possible for me to make a comment out of frustration with myself—and which was made without reference to anyone here—to my therapist and note it here without it becoming some kind of flashpoint?

Forget I said anything. Please. It’s invalidating.

Maybe you should put 'just venting' or something to indicate this as we arent mind readers. I thought it brought up interesting opinions. I liked reading them

ScarletPimpernel · May 18, 2021, 07:11 PM

Horrible news: We tried to appeal our denial for rental assistance on the grounds that they're only considering this years income, but not last year when Covid was affecting us. Our appeal got denied

He said we could appeal again, but what's the point if they won't consider last year's income.

I saw L today. Had a horrible horrible session. I think I'm done. She told me she's not "the answer". Logically, I know this, but that was a sucker punch when I was already feeling low. I feel like there are no more answers for me. I'm just done. Done with everything.

ArtieTheSequal · May 18, 2021, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Horrible news: We tried to appeal our denial for rental assistance on the grounds that they're only considering this years income, but not last year when Covid was affecting us. Our appeal got denied

He said we could appeal again, but what's the point if they won't consider last year's income.

I saw L today. Had a horrible horrible session. I think I'm done. She told me she's not "the answer". Logically, I know this, but that was a sucker punch when I was already feeling low. I feel like there are no more answers for me. I'm just done. Done with everything.

Hugs, Scarlet. That all sounds rough. I'm sorry.

LonesomeTonight · May 18, 2021, 07:47 PM

Hugs, Scarlet, I'm sorry. Both about the rental and for L saying that to you.

It makes me think a bit of the rupture that led me to terminate with Dr. T briefly 2 years ago, where I was asking him, while I was in crisis, to "give me hope." And he said (via email): "Give you hope? How is that my responsibility?" Which really hurt me. And it was also really poorly timed (along with some other stuff he said then). We were eventually able to come back from that, but it took time and a lot of talking.

I'd encourage you to give L another chance. Tell her how much what she said hurt you (maybe call or email?). How you realize it logically, but that it really hurts you emotionally, and this was the absolute wrong time for her to say it. That you want to be done. See what she says.

ScarletPimpernel · May 18, 2021, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, Scarlet, I'm sorry. Both about the rental and for L saying that to you.

It makes me think a bit of the rupture that led me to terminate with Dr. T briefly 2 years ago, where I was asking him, while I was in crisis, to "give me hope." And he said (via email): "Give you hope? How is that my responsibility?" Which really hurt me. And it was also really poorly timed (along with some other stuff he said then). We were eventually able to come back from that, but it took time and a lot of talking.

I'd encourage you to give L another chance. Tell her how much what she said hurt you (maybe call or email?). How you realize it logically, but that it really hurts you emotionally, and this was the absolute wrong time for her to say it. That you want to be done. See what she says.

I have called her. Twice. First was 3.5 hours ago and the second was 1 hour ago. And I've emailed. Per our rules, she has until noon tomorrow to respond.

ArtieTheSequal · May 18, 2021, 08:21 PM

I hope she gets back to you sooner rather than later, Scarlet and that it's helpful.

LonesomeTonight · May 18, 2021, 08:21 PM

I hope you hear back soon, Scarlet.

ArtieTheSequal · May 18, 2021, 08:23 PM

So after work today I went and got 4 more inches taken off my hair, it feels sooo good and I love it!

Quietmind 2 · May 19, 2021, 12:06 PM

Hey atisketatasket,

I'm sorry.

LonesomeTonight · May 19, 2021, 12:37 PM

Today, in talking about my concerns about a medical test I'm having tomorrow, Dr. T was saying how something he doesn't like about me* is how quickly and intensely I catastrophize. Me: "Is that like part of your Amazon review of me?" Dr. T: "5 stars for catastrophizing!" Me: "Or should that be 1 star?"

*He didn't mean that in the sense that he doesn't like me because of it or anything. More that he hates that I do it and continue to struggle with it.

SlumberKitty · May 19, 2021, 12:41 PM

Today I am feeling a little sad that I won't be seeing regular T again anytime soon but I feel mostly okay with it. Sort of at peace. I'll miss her but not in the achingly, rip my heart out of my chest, feeling that I had with former T. There's no tears. There's no crying. Just acceptance that right now she wasn't the best therapist for me. I will miss our chats but that is basically what they were, chats. Not therapy. She's a nice lady. And she helped me with the SH. Well mostly Pastor T did that. And she just followed up on it. I can't say she's been particularly helpful this whole time. Probably just wasted a lot of money seeing her and not getting better despite her telling me I am. Then why don't I feel better? Argh!

SlumberKitty · May 19, 2021, 12:42 PM

I'm going to be volunteering at a Compassion International event next month. I am really looking forward to it. My Dad is going to volunteer too (because I didn't want to go by myself). I filled out the waiver today and went through the online training which was no big deal. I assume someone will just tell me what to do when I get there. I have six kiddos that I sponsor through Compassion so I am really looking forward to having another way to help out. The only downside is that it is on a Sunday and I will be missing Church.

ArtieTheSequal · May 19, 2021, 01:26 PM

Lunchtime at last! Long morning at work, borrrrring meeting. In the middle of said meeting it dawned on me that I completely spaced L's birthday a couple days ago and didn't send my usual birthday wishes email. Oh well... I'm hoping that's a sign of her becoming less important to me, instead of just old age... in previous years I would be anticipating/planning what I was going to write for the whole week leading up to her birthday.

stopdog · May 19, 2021, 02:31 PM

I am on a chia/oatmeal pudding kick. Probably because we are starting to get in fresh fruit.

SlumberKitty · May 19, 2021, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am on a chia/oatmeal pudding kick. Probably because we are starting to get in fresh fruit.

I love the summer season because of the variety of fresh fruit that is offered.

SlumberKitty · May 19, 2021, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I love the summer season because of the variety of fresh fruit that is offered.

Although I was surprised to find out how many calories watermelon has. (I'm doing Noom so it tells me when I log my food.) I'm like, I thought it was just water.....

LonesomeTonight · May 19, 2021, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am on a chia/oatmeal pudding kick. Probably because we are starting to get in fresh fruit.

How is oatmeal pudding different from regular oatmeal? Does it just involve more liquid?

We're doing a new farm share this year, and it starts in 2 weeks--looking forward to getting some fresh local fruit. The farm share we did years ago was veggies only (aside from the occasional melon).

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