Couch 228--The Wellness Couch

I didnt know there were eschewable antibiotics. Do they come in flavors?

I have booked my covid vaccination for next week

Huge. Whats wrong with him? In what universe dont you warn your client why you are recommending it? If thats why he did it. My first reaction is hostile. Who is he consulting with, Hannibal Lecter?

I feel so bad for people of South America, when you look at the covid map.

That was my reaction but i didnt know if was being dramatic

Its like proof men are weak, that they pull carp like that. Weak and ignorant. Because then they dont own up to it. Not nowadays. In days of old, when knights were bold...

He recommended it because he thought it was really good and thought that I would enjoy it, which I was. It just feels hurtful that he didn't even think to say anything. Like this traumatic event that we've talked about extensively wasn't even on his radar. I feel unimportant and overlooked. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous though.

I would've watched it anyway but a heads up would have been helpful.

Devil’s advocate, is there a chance he hadn’t gotten to that part of the show yet? Otherwise that’s horribly thoughtless of him.

Ouch, NP. That seems like a misstep to me.

I'm trying to figure out how to maximise my physical comfort for what is likely to be a less than comfortable session in about 50 minutes. I am wearing a fleece, and I have my blanket.

Pocket riders would be very much appreciated.

Even if she thought it wasn't worth replying she could have sent an acknowledgement.

There's nothing wrong with wanting reassurance either.

Do you think you''re ready for less frequent sessions?

Hopping in your pocket

She doesn't do acknowledgements. I feel bad criticising her because I know I'm a difficult patient.

We had been doing quite ok, mended an earlier but still recent big.rupture - about how I feel I've no agency in session frequency. She said we could discuss but she needs to ensure session frequency doesn't "reinforce dependency". I hate that word, I've a ton of shame over my attachment to her etc. And I know some people don't feel powerless in therapy, don't get attached to a therapist, but I absolutely do.

And I'm dealing with my 5th alter and really...she knows some of them think therapy is dangerous, that this attachment will get us hurt as I've been really open about it. Like, she could have chosen a better time to not reply to a vulnerable email over my fears of rejection.

Like yes, I know I need to care for my alters, I do that 24/7, and... come on, I'm wobbly and trying hard and it doesn't merit an acknowledgment...? Even "let's discuss in our upcoming session."? When I could call, she's a ton better on the phone. Much more attuned.

I'm not ready for less than twice a month tbh. Not at all.

Then well, after our latest session (where she said she chose not to reply), I rewrote it, made my email really clear that while some fear is hoping she'd reassure me that I haven't overstayed my welcome, the other fears are about how I'm really struggling to improve my functioning etc.

She writes back saying I have to be more of a leader with my alters, so I make faster decisions. One, I don't see how that's linked to my functioning (I'm the part that handles daily life). Two, surely I know my own system and our needs better than her. Three, um, I get their input and offer them choices where reasonable, in order to build internal cooperation and harmony. Four, she never actually asked how I do things. If she has asked, she would have learned that I do have internal agreement on me having final say, me acting immediately in some small unimportant stuff and in work and in important safety scenarios etc.

Ugh... I know usually I like her a lot, I just feel so cranky. We'll mend stuff.

Not a fan of most couscous. That recipe looks good, but it's Israeli couscous--I always like that in all sorts of ways. The usual tiny, dry grains of couscous is what I can do without. But I do love real Moroccan couscous prepared traditionally. A Moroccan friend gifted me his couscoussier that looks like this: Amazon.com But he brought it back after a visit to his family in Morocco, so paid a fraction of the price at Amazon!

This is the recipe closest to how his Grandmother makes it: Moroccan Couscous with Seven Vegetables - Couscous Bidaoui - Taste of Maroc It sounds complicated, but it's actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it. It's a great party dish for a crowd and pretty cheap to make, too. The only difference is the recipe says to use plastic wrap to seal the bottom and top parts of the cooking pot to capture all the steam. I wouldn't do that; I use a tea towel or flour sack towel--something not fuzzy.

Traditionally steamed couscous is luscious. It's kind of like really good shortbread compared to a generic cookie. All the flavor from the butter and whatever ingredients cook in the bottom infuse the grain. And then you serve it with extra broth for even more flavor. But you need to buy about medium size grain that's not labeled "instant."

Yeah. This is where Elaine says to George, "What did your parents DO to you?" Sorry i got so low there.

Fkm - what a beautiful pot!

Session helped. I can still feel the weight of it, but knowing that R understood what I was trying to say, and that the email was aimed at helping me be OK until we could talk further helped.

Another drawback of Zoom is that I had to tell her I was shaking whilst I talked about it.

Listen, I spend my days telling people I can’t hear them and they need to speak more clearly. They either ignore me or if they adapt they’ve completely forgotten next time. (ETA: and, yeah, it hurts from those I’m close to.)

My point is, human beings are not naturally empathic but naturally self-absorbed and don’t think about warnings like that.

When he first mentioned the show, he was in the middle of it, but when I brought up starting it, he said he'd finished it.

Flying to the other coast tomorrow. Still doesn’t feel real.

Today I went by the hospital and dropped off gifts for some of my co-workers — security, pharmacy, nurses, housekeeping, respiratory therapists. I also got my ears pierced with my BFF — neither of us had ever pierced anything before! We got matching earrings, and she insisted on paying as a going-away gift.

It really doesn’t feel real.

Chihiro

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

Hugs, Chihiro... Pretty earrings!

hugs, chihiro and those are really pretty! i love earrings.

I steamed broccoli florets in my IP this evening, I have a hard time getting broccoli the level of done-ness that H and I like so thought I'd give it a shot this way. we're both trying to eat healthier again. Put it in my steamer basket with water under it, sprinkled on some seasonings, per instructions I found online set the IP on high pressure for 0 minutes. It came out perfectly. Yay! It seemed weird setting it for 0 minutes but apparently just the getting it up to pressure is enough to steam it.

Tonight I am indulging in a will and grace marathon.

Seth Meyer just said "...and Jason Sudeikis as the Cicada."

Thats fun. I catch them once in a while late at night, and somehow it is always satisfying.

Eta - i am gonna be fully vaccinated like the same day my state opens up. Its like i timed it. But our city is so international, idk how much its gonna change what i do.