Should I tell my new T about my old T?

They are in the same practice but don’t work in the same building. I don’t know if the new one will ask why I didn’t want to continue with the old one. But I’m not sure blabbing to her about all the stuff she did is a good idea. Plus I don’t know if telling her my Pdoc thought her behaviors basically traumatized me is a good idea either. I don’t want the old one to get into trouble. I’m not one to throw someone under the bus no matter how weird or unprofessional they are unless I tell someone like my pdoc who is in another state.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to tell her and what not to?

You could say she wasn't a good fit for you.

I was going to suggest the same.

I agree that saying "she just wasn't a good fit" would be sufficient if you don't want to go into detail.

However, if it were me, I would want to go into detail -- probably not in the first few sessions (because I'd be absurdly worried about making the new T think that I am high-maintenance... even though I definitely am, lol), but eventually... because it's *your* therapy, and if the old T acted unprofessionally (which, based on your previous posts, she definitely did), you have every right to process the effect that her lack of professionalism had on you.

I dunno about therapists, but as a doctor, I'm used to hearing patients' complaints about my colleagues; I've gotten the hang of listening and validating without saying something unprofessional myself (even if I personally know that that particular colleague is an utter fool). Heck, the new T may very well know that old-T is a basket case on wheels. And it'd be a huuuuge HIPAA violation for the new T to tell the old T what you said, and I can't imagine the new T would file any kind of report on the old T unless the old one did something completely egregious and illegal.

Do whatever you're comfortable with, of course, but if I were in your situation I probably wouldn't be able to keep it at "she wasn't a good fit."

FIrst, I don't think the first therapist is in any danger of repercussion no matter what you say about them. Second, why would you need or want to tell the new one about the old one? I don't think you need to say anything but I think if you want to complain about the first one - go ahead. It won't hurt her at all.

since its the same practice the new T ..........may.........already know you are seeing the new T. here where I am those in the same practice get together periodically to talk about changes with the practice including client - therapist case loads. sometimes treatment providers with in the same practice also have meetings to discuss their clients and how to best help them. you should have received some information papers about the practice and how they share or dont share information on you with each other and outside the agency. if you dont have that paperwork anymore you can ask your present T how things work in regards to the therapists and business meetings and whether or not they share information when one client changes therapists. some agencies also have an inter agency computer system where client files are stored so that any treatment provider in the same business can access the files in situations where one has changed therapists. I know with my therapist everything is right there on the computer files for my treatment providers to see just by booting up the computer and their logging and clicking into the business's account files on me. I have had 4 treatment providers in the same business at different offices. and each one was able to log in and access my file that the business had for me..

Adding on to this, ex-T knew all about some things ex-MC did for me that she didn't approve of (like talking to me on the phone for 30 minutes, not charging me for it). They worked in the same practice--he was actually an owner. And, to my knowledge, she never said anything to him about it (she said she only would have if I had said it was OK, which I didn't). And current T knows all about things ex-MC did. He knows him and they used to work together, too (current T has a solo practice now). But he's never taken any sort of action either, not that I would have wanted or expected him to. (Though they used to consult with each other on clients at times, and current T recently said that he hadn't talked to ex-MC in a very long time, so maybe what I shared led him to sort of distance himself from him).

So I do think it would be OK to share some things with the new T.

I think you should listen to what you need and want to tell her. If you worry about her either talking to the T or to a superior or something like that, maybe ask about that beforehand, make an agreement that it won't leave the room or a similar thing? But if you feel that what your Pdoc said was right or that you suffer to some extend under what has happened, then one of the best things you can do is talking about it, in my opinion. So, if you feel the need to do that, then I'd try to get to a point where you're comfortable with that, which I don't think has to involve hurting your old T in any way and can be done entirely without that.

I kind of did tell the new one stuff. She asked why I was going into therapy and I asked if she knew of that particular T and she said “yeah” and then I said “you won’t tell her I said this will you?” And she said “no” and I said “she was kind of unprofessional” and the new one asked how and I said “she’d eat in front of me and she wanted to look my old one up on Facebook.” New T didn’t give any sort of reaction to that remark. I also told new T that old T asked questions that made me feel uncomfortable. And she said like what? And I said just inappropriate ones. I didn’t want to tell this new T that the questions were sexual because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable either. I told her that my psychiatrist had basically said I was traumatized by her. Again no reaction or remark by the new one. She did say though that I didn’t have to answer any question I was uncomfortable answering.