Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

Hope you feel better soon, Artie. Could you consider a virtual session maybe? Assuming you're feeling well enough for one tomorrow.

Thanks LT. I might just do that, ask for a phone session instead since I'd rather do that than zoom. I feel fine otherwise at least for now. I took some pepto a little bit ago so we'll see if that calms it down.

ha ha for pete's sake i'm dumb!! just got reminder call about dr appt tomorrow morning - this is nothing more than nerves about finding out more info re: the recent bloodwork. I did too good of a job not thinking about it consciously.

HUGS Artie. I hope the doctor's appointment goes well and that you get good news!

Thanks Kit. I can't believe I actually stopped actively thinking about it!

Good job! I remember my mother ALWAYS saying she was worrying like she was helpless yet proud of it. I am afraid i inherited it without wanting to. So it is AMAZING when i catch myself NOT being anxious. Hey it only took me 70 years to get the hang of it! I felt a real sorority when you posted this which strengthened my new strength.

I've been worrying too over the intake tomorrow for the IOP that I might possibly do. But then I talked to Pastor T and also remembered some scriptures from my religion and it helped me to calm down. I am still a little nervous because I don't know what to expect (like if it goes really bad can they put me IP?) but I am not as anxious as I was. I haven't gotten to the point where I forgot about it but I got to the point where I am not ONLY thinking of that.

Ugh I think I am getting a migraine. Time to take some medicine and turn off the lights in my office!

Hugs, Kit I hope you feel better soon. And I hope the IOP intake goes smoothly.

I kept myself busy for a little while after work by doing chores but now they're done and I started worrying about my dr appt tomorrow and what she's going to tell me about the chronic kidney disease thing. So instead of worrying I'm going to go read stuff on the national kidney foundation website. I am probably already doing some things that I should be doing because I started eating healthier not long after my birthday in July and have lost about half the weight I gained after my appendectomy since then by eating healthy/walking/swimming. I am going to think positive and be grateful that I'm already in the process of getting healthier so any changes she tells me to make won't be as hard as they would have been if I hadn't already started. And maybe it's just a fluke anyway and she'll say she just wants to monitor it.

I hope you appts go well tomorrow, Artie and Kit.

My a/c is definitely broken, and my landlady is out of town until Tuesday

Is getting a mammogram painful? I'm getting it done for the first time later this month. I'm not nervous about the results as much as I am about the procedure.

It doesn’t hurt hurt like getting an invasive exam would be, but it’s uncomfortable and there’s pressure and the machine is cold. It’s more uncomfortable if your boobs are on either the small or large side and if they’re sensitive.

Most of the techs I’ve had for them are women and therefore a bit more sensitive than a male tech. I had a male tech once in Greece who thought he could get handsy during the exam (assuming I was just an idiot American). He was very surprised when I cursed him and the previous five generations of his ancestors out in Greek.

It's not painful for me and most of the women I know well have said the same. Kind of uncomfortable is all. It's pretty straightforward and doesn't take very long. The techs are usually really amazing at making it not super awkward too.

Like others said it is uncomfortable but not painful in my experiences. My techs have been great.

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Like the others said mammogram isn’t a big deal. I am large breasted and my breasts are dense so machine does squeeze it a bit more but it’s kind of like a muscle pain and not too bad and it doesn’t last. They take quick pictures and you are done. I heard horror stories before my first one and it was nothing. I agree with others that techs are always very nice and comforting

Agreed with all the other accounts for the mammogram. You may have to stand in some rather odd positions, like "twist this way, put your arm right up here, now turn slightly to the left." And you have to hold your breath for a couple seconds when they actually take the image. But it's not bad, just uncomfortable and rather awkward.

Thanks all! It's really helped calm my nerves some. It's a little early for me to start having the exam, but I found a sore dimple on my breast (went away now), but my doctor and I agreed that it's best to just get it checked out. And since I'm doing one, might as well check the other. I do have large breasts, so I was worried about that as well.

Meh, not terribly. It can be uncomfortable for a few seconds, but it's not a big deal. It was the odd positioning that was probably more uncomfortable that the boob squeezing thing to be honest. It is quick. Usually in and out in 15 minutes. I've been having them since my late 20s - lots of breast cancer in my family. I'll take a mammogram over colonoscopy prep anyday - do that every couple years too.

An article for the professors on here about some resigning at Georgia universities that won't mandate masks. (Washington Post's Covid coverage is generally free, so hopefully this should be readable if you don't subscribe.)

Session with T this morning. Apparently the narcissistic part of what I'm doing does not lie in an inaccurate appraisal of the situation or in my behavioural response to situation. It lies in the fact that I'm using judgement and a sense of superiority over others to patch over a weak sense of self. So he's not saying I'm wrong or that I'm doing something wrong behaviourally, but that my emotional response is the thing that's problematic; his point is that this is due to vulnerable narcissism. I still don't really get it, but it's something to mull over.

He was less irritated today, though it was not 0% either. He admitted that he had some desire to "take me down to size" during session on Wednesday. He also said that the reason he responded like he did had to do with him identifying with the people I was passing judgement on (e.g. my BF), and did imply that this had to do with some foible in himself. (I've always assumed that one or both of his parents had personality disorders, and that's why he ended up specializing the way he did.)

chihirochild- I very much disagree with your T in this scenario. He's really grasping to find a way to blame you. He is shaming your natural feelings of frustration (at objectively poor treatment at work), and going even further by labeling these natural and healthy emotions as "problematic".

I'm curious..... if you were a man would your frustration with your supervisor be considered pathological and problematic? Would your T have the same reaction and same diagnostic labels for you? If you were a man would your expectation of reasonable and professional treatment at work be considered narcissistic??

I don't agree with him but I don't know why clearly. And if he does specialise in personality disorders, due to a significant person in his life having one, well, he really needs to watch his countertransference, and sort out his unresolved issues in supervision and/or personal therapy when necessary.

Can you explain further what he means by emotional response and how that is different than feelings? Most of us here seem to see your emotional response as frustration, anger, and hurt. It seems that he attributes those to some kind of judgement and a sense of superiority. I don't see it or understand how being frustrated/angry at a boss that is inefficient at long term resource allocation/forecasting (scheduling) along without sharing more details as to why they cannot meet what would be considered a reasonable notification of ones working schedule; to be judgmental. There may be a completely reasonable reason why the last few years have lead to her unable to provide more notice of schedules. However, her lack of sharing that reason adds to your perception that it is a personal fault. And perhaps that is what your T is getting at in terms of judgement. And if that is what he is getting at - what would he expect to be the non-narcissistic response be while still advocating for your wants/needs?

I don't know what program you are in; I do know that in my area of the country, hospital schedules are being adjusted almost daily due to all regional hospitals running at full capacity.

I also question the sexism of his response. If you were a man, would he see your behaviors differently, especially those he labels as superiority over others and his need to take you down a notch (which sounds pretty alpha-narcissistic in its own right)?

I do agree with chihiro's t. But im more freudian about it. How dare the PD do this to you - only your parents can treat you that poorly! But you cant be angry with your parents because THEY WILL KILL YOU. Or at the least, they dont care what you want - they care only that you fulfill THEIR demands. (Yes im projecting my own family situation.)

I would just say, you gotta separate personal from professional. You cannot react to the personal presences in your professional situation. Like, you cant be insulted. There is no insult or deprecation intended. Whereas with your parents, there is - their wants matter more than your needs. Professionally, your PD's needs matter more than your wants.

Your PD giving you enough notice will not make your parents treat you any better, nor make you feel better about how they treat you.

I am in awe at your t figuring this out. Mine never did, or at least they didnt spell it out to me. Or i just couldnt hear it. I spent my whole work life fighting it. Other "kids" - their parents accept them working and not JUST having babies like theyre supposed to, like everybody else. How dare you have a brain.