Couch 233: Nothing’s Ghana Stop Us Now

I signed my contract for aftercare just now.




I guess lots to talk about with Julieanne when I see her via Zoom on the 29th.

We are having a Thanksgiving Potluck today at work. We are having BBQ Turkey. I have never had BBQ Turkey before but it smells good. We are having tamales, chili, deviled eggs etc. I brought Bavarian Cream which is a pineapple, whipped cream, gelatin concoction. It's yummy. It was special requested by my boss. I brought it last year and he remembered it and asked me to bring it this year.

I just took 2.5 mg of Olanzapine. The prescription is for 5mg but the ER doctor said I could cut it in half. Hopefully it will calm me the you know what down.

Hugs, Kit. I agree that the contract doesn't seem that fair. Hope aftercare still helps. And I hope the medication helps you as well!

Thank you LT.


I hope the medicine helps too. I'm super anxious today. I may try taking another 2.5 mg in a little while if it hasn't kicked in or take a benzo. I can take up to 15 mg of olanzapine in a day and I've never gotten near that dose.

I decorated the Christmas tree this past weekend. I didn't get anything else decorated but the tree is up sans the topper. I ordered the topper and it hasn't gotten here yet. It was fun to decorate it.

I found this a little while ago. I find it quite useful in terms of my own process.

I like that Lost, thanks for sharing!

I just got a note on my door about a neighbor complaining about my dogs barking. Ugh! Not what I need right now. Hopefully, it will be just a one time complaint. My sister was over and my dogs get upset when people visit. I also left the house twice today, and they bark when I'm gone. Oh, and we had the windows and doors open. I understand they're annoying. Luckily, a lot can be fixed and/or only happens once in a while. But my fear is the neighbor will expect them to be quiet all the time. I can't guarantee that when I leave.

I just hate confrontation. And I hate when they leave notes. Tell me to my face so I can explain and reassure you; not hide and being a jerk.

Took some xanax. Definitely feel calmer now. Not such a mess. My head feels heavy though and like it is hard to think. Aftercare should be fun tonight if I am having trouble forming thoughts. At least I will probably have seen the video before so I will be good to go with that. Hopefully if we have a worksheet to do it is easy.

Glad you feel a little better, Kit. Sorry about your water heater, LT.

I'm still in so much pain I hope my doctor calls me back tomorrow and can help me out.

Pain sucks, I hope you get relief soon.

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Hugs Kit, Scarlet, Velcro, anyone else who needs/wants.

Gah, free foreigner counsellor was...irritating as bleep. Not discrimination, local professionals do it too but it's especially condescending from multiple foreign counsellors.

I was already clear on what I need, and what I don't need - and said so REALLY clearly. Just keep me doing my safety plan while I try to find a social worker who hopefully knows community resources that I don't.

Eg, I have to trot out a dehumanising, degrading "trauma, poverty inspiration porn" of why my family perpetrators are "earn so much" yet are so unsafe to beg $ from. Financial abuse? Yes that I can detail. But I freaking hate having to detail extensive and horrific abuse in great detail. For EVERY perpetrator. And get judged. Since it is X kind of CSA and not Y kind.

She said she's not familiar with DID at all, I shouldn't have to detail all that, I am more familiar with the social service system here, I'm the expert on myself, and my life. Said I can be authentic and not keep proving myself...

... Proceeds to do everything I said NOT to do. She kept interrupting right away whenever I said to quit that each and every time.

I even worked for years in the same place she got help from.

I know I'm not defined by my DID and problems?! I actually do have terrible daily life dissociation, and I have no idea why DID causes intense fatigue.

I have a goal to regain ability to work! I'm pretty disabled (friend with DID that I live with) but not in a way our government recognises.

I'm not overly negative, I'm actually overly optimistic and jumping through unrealistic hoops on a job to crash over and over. Out of necessity for a lot of systemic reasons.

I'm really not kidding. Not just state help. Charity organisations, food banks I've contacted. Even when we can barely afford groceries. Every single time. All the time.

Because I've "nothing physical".
My friend has DID AND rare, neurodegenerative autoimmune conditions. She has to do this TOO.

But I do have to try and yes, so I try and try and try. That includes applying to 6 hour to 12 hour shift jobs when I've been told I can do max 3 hours by again... my friend with DID whom I LIVE with.

I am never having my groceries delivered by a delivery lartner again. The delivery partner is our local taxi service whose drivers couldnt find their own a**holes if they had a map. I watched on the app as they drove everywhere but my street. How come the grocery chain delivery drivers can find my house but taxis cant and they sat out the front and tooted once and then drove away and i had tomstruggle to get down the stairs and out into the street to wave them down and the driver didnt seem pleased and made a face bringing my bags in. I dont know what to say i have put a complaint form in.

Oh quietmind i am so sorry this is happening,
And hugs to all who need it

Yeah daffy, things have changed in the delivery business. I used to always meet my drivers outside, i would tell them to text me when they arrived etc.

Then during the pandemic, a lot of them would come up to my apartment and leave the packages by the door for contactless delivery.

But now the pendulum has swung back and they will drop stuff at the apartment bldg entrance. So i have it built into my profile that i will meet them in the driveway with my old lady shopping cart.

But the delivery drivers employed by the grocery chain have no problems finding me or opening my gate and carrying/ pushing my groceries to the fromt door one guy who didnt mind dogs even brought them into my house. I am just angry at the incompetence of the local taxis as they made me late for my dental appointment the other day because thye couldnt find my house the house with a big number 2 on the front facade and on the letterbox. I dont understand why this state doesnt have the numbers painted on the gutter like other states for the emergency services to find youneasily. I am just having a bad day and i want to whinge and complain.

I hope your day gets better, Daffy.

My daughter stood outside last night to flag down the Amazon delivery driver, after her package got returned to the sender because of "bad address" even though it was correct. Turns out the previous driver couldn't find our house.

I haven't been brave enough to order groceries for delivery, same reason.

Have a good day couch!

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I don't remember if this has been talked about before, my memory isn't what it used to be haha. Do any couchies get ocular migraines? I think I had one this morning. I suddenly started seeing this jagged, half-circle of big colorful triangles moving kinda up and down in my right eye, partly blocking my vision. Totally weird. No headache. Just that, for like 20 minutes or so. I googled "colorful triangle floaters" and one of the results was an image that very closely resembled what I was seeing, and described ocular migraines. It was freaky, glad it's over!!

Yes! I used to get them a lot, never caused pain either. At my age now if I see a visual disturbance I usually think about calling the eye doctor, just in case.

Hope you're better now!

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Thanks! Yes, I'm due for an eye dr visit anyway so will call them on my lunch break to schedule. It was just kinda freaky-deaky while it was happening so I thought I'd ask... never had anything like that before! It completely stopped though, and no headache at least as of yet. Hoping I won't get one either!

Hugs, Artie, yes, sounds like an ocular migraine. You would have had the headache part by now if that was going to happen, so likely just an ocular one. Wouldn't hurt to check with the eye doctor just to be safe.

Thanks LT. I wasn't familiar with that phrase at all, it was just so amazing that when I did that google search, the first result was a picture that very closely resembled what I experienced! Still no headache, very glad. I'll be seeing the eye dr in December so that's good. Probably need new glasses by now anyway.

I got a random text from Info today asking if I was okay. It turned out she confused our appointment next Tuesday with this Tuesday.

I’m not actually okay. I attended a meeting yesterday that was supposed to be live captioned...but the office in charge just didn’t bother to comply with the ADA request.