Couch 233: Nothing’s Ghana Stop Us Now

Court with my sister yesterday went sort of okay. Father's visitations stand as is (twice a week supervised by his sister). The time was moved so my niece can go to her dance classes. However: It's just a frustrating situation. I really feel for my sister. I don't know what to think. Something happened per the doctor's report, that I believe. But the rest? Argh! My niece is going to be/is messed up because of all of this.

Hugs, Scarlet.

H and I are in New Mexico for a short little getaway, we plan to do some hiking tomorrow and the next day and I will be taking lots of pictures!! We stopped at a rest stop on the way here to see this roadrunner statue thingie, it's made out of all sorts of things like crutches, computer parts, etc etc. It's HUGE!

here's the roadrunner thing without me in front of it so I don't have to delete the pic later haha

We had tornado sirens going off for hours last night but today there were not many trees or branches down and we didn't lose electricity. I have started my winter dehydrating fruits and veg - I did several bags of greens, pears, and now apples. I found a small instant pot 3 qt that I got at some point and never used. I am going to try making some kale with white beans and chorizo soup in it tomorrow.

How old is your niece? This specific behavior that you describe is pretty common, even for non-traumatized little kids (like toddler/preschool age). It's not about actually enjoying what they are doing but it's more about feeling uncomfortable and out of control. Kind of like nervous laughter -- you don't actually think anything is funny when you're laughing. Sometimes kids are testing out what happens if they do something to somebody and then they get stuck in a loop and can't really figure out how to stop themselves.

That sounds delicious. I have chorizo in the freezer, white beans in the pantry, and kale in the garden. I think I'll print a recipe and make some tomorrow.

I use these two - I usually leave out the potatoes because I am not a huge potato fan and I throw in beans (I use white or red beans).

Kale Soup With Potatoes and Sausage Recipe - NYT Cooking

Hearty Portuguese Kale Soup Recipe - Food.com

She's only 4.

My sister keeps sending me recordings of my niece after their visitation. I wish she would stop. It breaks my heart and there is nothing I can do. I feel helpless. I've already contacted the social worker and his supervisor. If I make a report, it will go back to them anyways.

Ready for some pics, couch? H & I went to the Organ Mountains earlier and did a little hiking, the La Cuava loop trail. The little historical cave was kinda neat. These mountains are just enchanting to me. I really enjoyed the hike! We're finding plenty of outdoors stuff to do while we're here. Tomorrow we're going hiking in another park.

Oops here's the cave.

Great pics, Artie--thanks for sharing!

Omg you all! Santa is real!

So I gave a Christmas book, Twas the night before Christmas, to my nieces. In it was stickers and a letter addressed to Santa that kids could fill out what they wanted from him. So my oldest niece filled it out (with mom's help of course). My niece said she wanted a camera, that my middle niece wanted an Elsa doll, and my sister wrote that the baby wanted crib sheets. And then my sister wrote the girls clothes size. My sister sent it to Santa Clause at the North Pole about a month ago and thought nothing of it. Friday, she gets a package in the mail with six presents. She opened them just enough to see what they were: a pink camera, an Elsa doll, crib sheets, and a dress for each of the girls!

So it's called Operation Santa Clause, it's through USPS, and they answer kids letters to Santa. I read that they do ask for you to donate $5 to help out others too. We didn't know, but next year we'll do that. I might chip in a little extra depending on finances.

It's just so cool that there are such good people out there and that this sort of thing exists.

That's awesome, Scarlet! I've heard about something like this before.

I don't know yet but Info and I might have hit the end of the road.

We had an appointment today. 10 minutes in, with me in mid-spiel about accommodations at work, she suddenly interrupts me, said she just got an email, she's supposed to be at some therapist group meeting right then, she double-booked, can we reschedule?

Random thoughts:
-why is the person she's talking to right then not the priority? I mean, it's a bunch of therapists, surely they can catch her up.
-why is she looking at her email (on her phone next to her) during a session?
-why is the person she's talking to, whom she knows has trouble talking, and who has to spend a lot of time gritting her teeth even to go to therapy, the one who gets dropped?
-maybe she shouldn't interrupt the person going through something pretty painful?
-this is the second time in 4 1/2 years she's double-booked me. And I was the one who got lost in the shuffle that time too.
-It's not like I didn't have a bunch to talk about today, now if we do meet again there's this too.

I'm trying to be objective and fair, and she did apologize and suggest we meet again in a couple of hours. But I needed to talk about what I was already talking about when she interrupted me, and I don't think I can just jump in again in a couple of hours after being cut off mid-sentence.

UGH, @@ I'm sorry. I'm sorry Info didn't make you the priority. When already your work isn't making you a priority by taking care of your accommodations and now your T didn't make you a priority in the middle of your session. I'm sorry, that just really sucks. Here's some hugs if you want them. HUGS Kit

Ugh, that really sucks @@. I would have been really upset if something like that had happened, especially so if I'd been in the middle of something I'd been upset about. Did she give you any sort of choice in it? Like, "I really should go to this--would it be OK if we continued later today? If not, that's fine, I can miss it." From what you said, sounds like she was just like, "Sorry, double-booked, gotta go," which is pretty s----y. To me, the only time something like that is excusable is a family emergency or the therapist suddenly falling ill.

And why was she checking her email during your session anyway? (Granted, Dr. T will sometimes look at his phone to see about something I'm commenting on, like the weather or what happened in a football game and will see an occasional text that way--if he had email notifications set up, he could have seen that, too.)

I'd understand terminating over this, especially as it happened once before. At least she apologized. And offered you another time. But still... that doesn't magically make it OK.

Do you think you'll see her later today? And I forget, are you still seeing Visa?

I'm still seeing Visa, but not again till mid-January. She's very booked. Also, she offers different help over this issue than Info does. Less emotional, more practical.

I don't feel like seeing Info later. That would probably turn into a screamfest or a cryfest and nothing helpful at all. And we'd have to talk about the ****ing relationship (current status: not good), which is the last thing I want now.

HUGS if wanted, @@

Greeting couch peeps… I’m gonna sit here and get comfortable. I have a question and I’m not sure who to ask. If my Therapist were inappropriate and I were to find a new one, if I told the new one about the old one, would they report it? Are they required to report it or is it confidential? I’m hoping someone may know. - thanks in advance

So the guy I like from Church who is accompanying me to my work Christmas Party "as friends" informed me Sunday that he is now "seeing" someone and so we can't drive together but he will still go with me. I'm conflicted about this because I like him and I don't know that I want him to go now since he is involved with someone but that means I would have to un-invite him. Sigh.

You said it all, LT. You've given Info so many chances, @@. I'm baffled that she would sideline you, in a session you are paying for. Hoping you can find a measure of peace in the rest of your day.

I didn't get the work promotion but no one did. The owner is going to "step in and fill that role" for a while although IDK how she is going to be able to do it from NY. I'm taking this as a "not now" rather than a "no." This combined with my "date" for the Christmas party has me pretty bummed out. But I didn't self harm. I texted my therapist, Julieanne, instead who now wants to do a session even though I told her I was okay. Sigh.

Hugs if wanted, @@. I'm sorry that happened. From what you said it sounds pretty inexcusable to me too! I mean it would be bad enough to like text you or something before your session started saying she had to cancel, but to interrupt you while you're already talking to cancel, for something like a meeting with other therapists? Just, no. You should have been her priority during that time and she should not have been checking her email, in my mind.