[Omers]

I worked with my first T from about 1995-1998ish… I hated her, we were a bad match, it went to hell in a hand basket before I decided to work with someone else (who was in many ways worse… but)… we had always gone to the same church but kept our distance. After I basically fired her we were less distant at church and she became a close mentor… then basically family. I used to go “home” to her place every December and stay with her and her husband while helping at their huge holiday party. The past few years I have been really bad about staying in touch. I got a Christmas card from her and her husband and made myself suck it up and write back. I convinced myself there was nothing wrong, I was just catastrophising because I had been so bad about keeping in touch.

I wasn’t catastrophising.



T1 has dementia. Her husband wrote me back to let me know that he shared the letter I sent but the dementia has advanced to a point where she is no longer able to communicate.

Awesome T is traveling today for Christmas and is unlikely to check email… my phone is MIA so I can’t call. Art T would just piss me off if she tried to be supportive. Awesome T comes back Sunday and we see eachother Monday… then Thursday he goes away for three months.

Now I know why T1 snipped at me last time we talked… she was struggling, she knew… and she wasn’t ready to tell me or she thought I already knew.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, Omers, I'm sorry... I hope your current T can be helpful when you see him Monday, but then 3 months is a long time after that for him to be away.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I'm sorry, Omers. I hope Awesome T is helpful on Monday.

[Omers]

Thanks. I am such a mess tonight… I don’t remember being this upset about another human being.

T will be gone 3 months… he is semi retired but has promised to continue to see me as long as I need. We will have some check ins but it is never the same. I have art T but our relationship is still much more volatile and I am currently digging my heels in pushing her away. I cc’d her on the email to T but told her to stay away, I didn’t want her “near me” while I am coming to terms with T1’s health.

T will be out of state for the three months he is gone… I have family near where he will be… maybe I need a vacation… LOL

[Waterbear]

Oh man, that sounds excruciating. I'm so so sorry. It is so hard to care so much for someone. I hope you can find the support you need, even if it is here, on the boards.

[East17]

I hope awesome T was helpful today. As he's away for 3 months and it's a planned break, couldn't he sort out a backup T for you, as you've said on here that your relationship with art T is rather volatile?

But maybe seeing another T in his absence isn't something you'd want to do.

I hope you can put some kind of support in place Omers. Three months is a long break to have when you're used to seeing a T regularly.

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk

[Omers]

Awesome T will have limited availability for sessions while he is away. I think he will still be available for “emergencies” and he has said I can still email although he makes no promises about replying to email. We also have a few check in sessions scheduled.
He knows how very volatile my relationship with art T is (we has a combined session with all three of us last week and he is her supervisor). I also have permission to use his office for our video sessions if art T is there to let me in and we can use his office if I would feel safer. I don’t think I like having art T in Awesome T’s office but it is an option.
We didn’t talk about T1 today. I mentioned her briefly but didn’t say much and he didn’t push or ask. I am not sure if it was because I had cc’d art T on the email but told art T not to talk to me about it (she was cc’d because I know it will impact our work not because I am comfortable grieving with her) or if he had not read the email yet. He had traveled for the holiday. We also got distracted this session because my in laws have COVID and my brother in law is doing very poorly. He may have also decided that unless I brought it up that talking about it before he leaves might be too much.

Mostly today we spent the time feeling connected before he left.