Well this is confusing

Ok, so I finally managed to terminate my current T a few days ago and will start with a new T on Tuesday. The thing is, after I officially terminated I began to feel a bit sad and even depressed. Even if it was something I really wanted to do.

Yeah, I guess my T wasn’t a bad person, just not a good fit for me. And I would often get frustrated at how bland and tasteless things were with her. And plus, she was not an OCD specialist (or an ADHD one for that matter).

I mean, it definitely isn’t as bad as when I grieved when I lost my first T (I had crying spells for 3 weeks after she terminated), but I noticed that the feelings were somewhat similar.

Maybe it’s from a fear of change, or from the fact that I am not used to actively quitting things or leaving people, but why would I feel sad over terminating with a T that I have wanted to terminate for a while now!? I should feel completely relieved like a weight has been lifted upon me!

I just hope it doesn’t impact the way I connect with my upcoming T

I think whenever a relationship ends (even if you're the one who ended it), feeling some sadness is normal. I wouldn't be hard on yourself about feeling this way.

Yeah, you probably had some kind of bond with them, and didn’t want to hurt their feelings even if you both knew it was for the best.

Change is never easy, even if it seems for the best. It might get complicated by other factors e.g. a painful ending of the past where either you left a significant person... or they left you. These may still resonate in the 'now'.

I know for me no matter how my therapist where it was always a sad ending because I shared my life with them. Change is hard and I hope your new t works out for the best. It's okay to feel the way you do. Hugs

I’m guessing you still felt close to them, even though they didn’t feel the right T for you? It also sounds disappointing in terms of your expectations of the therapy/ the therapist.

This is probably a possibility. I was hurt pretty badly when my very first therapist left 7 Cups of Tea. I had crying spells for about 3 weeks afterwards every time I thought about her! I still miss her and think highly of her till this day.

I was also talking to a friend about this and he said that that first termination left an impression on me and I think he was right.

Yeah, fortunately my new T is great!! Almost practically wiped out my feelings of sadness about terminating with previous T! Haha!