Couch 235: Home State Advantage

@@ I don't think I'd see Info for anything past what you were intending already. Don't really see a point, personally.

Thanks. I hadn't really even thought about it before today so I was a little surprised at myself but should not have been I suppose. My "hallmark movie" self and all. She always said she wants to still be working when she's 100... but... you never can tell about these things, right? I know logically there's no reason on earth for her to tell me.

i wonder how long it's going to take before i stop thinking about her every dang day.

Two months after the second said she had no plan to ever retire - she retired because her 90+yr old husband was dying.

Now i have REO Speedwagon songs running through my head which reminds me of thise 90s commercials with two guys going 'Do you remember REO Speedwagon? The Catain and Teneille?....'

This sounds familiar—Info said about 9-10 months ago, 3 months or so after her husband died, that she wasn’t interested in retiring. Obviously she changed her mind (not blaming her).

She has two clients who have been with her longer than me (7 and 11 years). I wonder hiw they’re taking it?

I don't think REO Speedwagons were a thing here in the US. At least, I'd never heard of them until listening to true crime podcasts from overseas.

I don't remember that commercial but now I have that Captain and Tennille song stuck in my head.

They were definitely a thing in the US, but maybe not as big as other bands of that genre. I'd say maybe they were before your time, but Captain and Tennille were before REO Speedwagon's time so who knows unless you're referring to the vehicle and not the band.

My main T (Liz) was the one who canceled. She got the booster on a Friday afternoon and still felt crummy by Monday morning. There was a grapefruit-sized lymph node involved. I have learned that her immune system has a flair for the dramatic. I only had a sore arm with my three shots.

Is it a bad thing to remember her?

Speaking of remembering, would you all believe it's been almost 7 years since ex-T abandoned me? I need to start writing her my letter soon. I send her one every anniversary. I don't include my return address because there's nothing she could say to me that would help. But it helps me put my feelings out there, out of my head. I don't care if she reads it. She'll know it's from me, and that's all that matters. I know I should just let it go by now, but she really traumatized me and I feel that since she never gave me closure, this is my way of giving it to myself. I hope I can completely move past her one day. I had T for a good 4 years (and still do have her), and now I have an awesome therapist in L for almost 3 years and hopefully L will be my last therapist. Anyways...

Oh no not at all, that's not really what I meant.

I saw REO Speedwagon open for maybe the Stones? in detroit in the 60's. That or a Danny Thomas St Jude Hospital thank you concert.

I saw REO in concert awhile ago (well before covid) actually saw them twice we enjoyed it so much. The first time there was this very inebriated gentleman sitting a couple rows in front of us who kept standing up and pumping his fists in the air chanting (loudly) R....E.....O!! That's been a running joke between h & I ever since when one of their songs comes on the radio. haha.

Incidentally, they always make me think of J too because the first time we acknowledged that there was something going on between us that summer their song I Can't Fight This Feeling was playing. It was a new song back then. Every time I hear that song to this day I think of her.

Yes, I'm supposed to be working now but I am just not feeling it today. I've already processed 2 hours worth of messages in an hour and 40 minutes (had a couple super easy ones) so I figured I had a little leeway haha

We are in a up and down weather pattern - it is 10F right now - tomorrow it is supposed to be 40F. Which I hope happens. My all brick 120yr old abode stays cold despite the temp I set for the furnace.

I was referring to the vehicle not the band.

So, I'm home for the rest of the week as we're closed due to staffing issues. Ironically, I think today is the first day I can say I finally feel fully recovered from my latest bout with omicron. It wasn't bad, just a persistent stuffy nose. I can finally breathe through both sides of my nose!! Woohoo!! It's the little things in life . . .

It's working out. Tomorrow I have a couple of routine dentist and doctor appointments to take care of. And Friday I was already taking the day off because it is my probate court date. Seems like this has taken forever. I'll be glad to finally have most of the legal and bureaucratic matters behind me. It's been almost 9 months since my husband's death: this stuff seems to go on forever. Once this is done, I'll feel more comfortable taking care of a few other financial matters, but I wanted to have the probate done first just to be sure not to inadvertently over-complicate things.

This grief stuff is long and lonely and so much harder than any previous grief experience I've had. I lost my sister and my mother - I was very close to both - but grief for my husband is an entirely different experience. I think part of it is that it is a Covid death - it is relentlessly in my face each and every day - and I have to wade through stupid Covid joke memes and stupid anti-vaxxer input that just burns my butt. But mostly it is the loss of my constant companion, the person who knew and understood me best. It's a lonely grief that really no one else who lost my husband experiences quite the same way. The kids have been wonderful, but the hole--that void--is very much ever present.

Fortunately, I have found a lovely griefshare group nearby. Five other women, all who truly "get" this experience in a way others just can't quite get. I haven't seen them in a couple weeks because I was staying away out of an abundance of caution since we are all a bit on the older side. I look forward to getting back to that routine. It is certainly helpful.

I am so glad you found a good griefshare group. My mom was fortunate to find a really good one after we lost my Dad back in 2013. She credits that group with helping her move through her grief in a way that she doesn't think she would have without them. I had kinda forgotten about griefshare, thank you for the reminder. I'm going to put a note about it in my safe with other important papers.

it's a vehicle? i only knew it was a band.

The speedwagon, not captain and tennille.

Surely the animals understand that their duty is to snuggle up to you and keep you warm?

Hugs if wanted, Artley.

This came up on my feed today. Funny! Ive been binge-watching the british police procedural Line of Duty, highly recommend, with caution.

I gotta get out and go pick up meds. I gotta start getting them mailed to me, this sucks.

Surprisingly enough, my dogs are not snugglers at all but want their dog door and long walks. I don't keep the inside open to get to the dog door when it is this cold. The ancient cat only gets up to adjust himself by the space heater and to yowl in a demented fashion before curling up again. The inherited cat is extremely cross and demands to check all the doors several times an hour to make sure it is miserable outside of all of them. He also walks around and just whaps the other animals as he goes -they are just sitting there and he swipes at them.