Couch 236: NY PS Langston Hughes

My person was on a lot of steroids for swelling in her brain. It made her cranky, hungry, restless and cranky - the md actually warned me twice about the steroids making her angry and not to react to it. The mood swings were not fun for either of us. And she would want to do things like cut the grass at midnight or shovel snow at 5 am or walk to the chemo center (it was about 3 miles away and it was walkable but she would want to start at 5:30 am to get there at 7 - and the park she had to walk through did not open until 6:00 am - that was a day I thought she was going to get arrested because the park ranger stopped us and she went steroid bonkers - I showed him her md's card and the chemo appt and he let us go- but it was a tad touchy for a bit)

Not taking it personally was easier said than done.

I started this spring afghan yesterday. One of my favorite patterns to make, I've made probably a dozen of these in various colors. 3 more rounds of the green, then one of white again, then I haven't decided yet if I'm going to use a pale purple next or go back to the peach color in the middle and repeat.

I think that's what they give to mountain climbers to revive them way up high the 8000's like everest etc. Makes sense now, by your description!

My new phone came with tiktok preimstalled and i am totally confused

Theres a couple of cute dancing guys, Vik and somebody.

I just found out that I tested positive for COVID

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you have supportive people around you.

Well after the other people who live with me tested positive, I knew it was likely that I would test positive.

Artie, have you ever done a deep dive into the Kristin Neff self-compassion stuff? I know it's not mystic shaman kind of stuff, but I do think it could be really helpful for you (thinking somewhat in reference to the pain in your Dear T post).

I hope your symptoms are mild and that you recover quickly. Same with your household members.

I haven't, thank you EM, I'll check her out. I feel bad that I posted that particular bit in Dear T. Something h said set me off in the direction I guess. We have since talked it out and I'm feeling better; plus I got to see my son today for a little bit which helps too. I'm doing much better today.

I've been crocheting a LOT this weekend. Finished the afghan today that I started on Friday (I took today off work so I could visit with my son when he came over). I decided today that it's for one of my oldest friends back in the midwest so I'm going to package it up and mail it to her this week. Crocheting calms me and figuring out who I made it for makes me feel happy:

That's a lovely afghan, Artie! I'm impressed by how quickly you can create them. I'm sure it will be a nice surprise for your friend.

Last night in strange dreams (trigger warning, just in case):



Then there was the one a couple nights ago, where I was in California (I think?) with H and some friend, and there were these crazy thunderstorms going on, with lightning that looked very CGI and fake, but it still scared me. We tried to get a ride, but it was a convertible with the top down. I was screaming that it wasn't safe to ride in that in a thunderstorm, and the driver said how studies had shown that it was actually safe. I said I wanted to get out anyway, so they let me out at the first exit.

No stress here, not at all!

Hugs, LT. Those are some interesting scenarios at least - my dreams are always in an office or at a house or walking in a former home neighborhood. But omg terrifying. Im so sorry.

Thanks, Una. Mine really vary in location.

Today, in terrible transitions by Dr. T:
"Since you're already crying, is it OK if I make a comment?"

Way to make me panic regarding what you're about to say, Dr. T.... Turned out to be something regarding my mom (we'd been talking about my parenting D), but I was waiting for something like he was about to take a month off or was moving or something.

My Pdoc is retiring in July... It sucks. I wasn't attached to her or anything, but I trusted her with my meds and she trusted me with meds like benzos. I don't want this new doctor to mess anything up! I'm asking my PCP and L to talk to the new doctor to make sure they don't try to change anything. I hate adding new people to my life.

*hugs* if wanted, Scarlet.


Trusting new people is hard. I learned a few weeks ago that my GP (PCP I think in the US?) is retiring. I haven't met the person who's taking over from her yet, and I felt really supported by her. I'm nervous about meeting the man who's taking over.

I've always found it easier to be open with female providers, but my GP practice says both remaining female doctors' patient lists are full.

Hugs, Scarlet, I'm sorry. I get how this can be difficult, especially in terms of things like benzos, where many doctors are skittish in prescribing them. I think that's a good plan in having your PCP and L talk to her. And if it turns out they aren't on board, then finding a new p-doc.

Oh, and I have to see a new gynecologist in a couple weeks because I had one leave the practice yet again.... It is really difficult switching from someone you're comfortable with and trust, with anything medical or therapy-related.

Hugs LT, you have a lot going on. the nightmares (yikes!), Dr T's comment (ugh! and just... why? I would have freaked out too wondering what he was gonna say next) and having to see a new gyno.

Hugs, Scarlet. I hope between your PCP and L they can ensure the new doc doesn't go changing things that you already know work.

hugs Lost, I hope the new GP is just as good and also is able to make you feel comfortable.

My dreams have been varying locale a lot here recently - after 2 recent dreams I woke up in my bed with the strong feeling that I'd been visiting another world or something. Not nightmares exactly, but... weird. Because in both of them I was lost and trying to find my way back home.