Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

Sole control of the remote control! Yippee!

My Dad and I always make a big deal out of this. When I come home from work, I claim sole control over the remote control (not really, we all sort of decide what to watch) and he makes a big ceremony about turning the responsibility over to me. Then when I go to bed, because I go to bed earlier than my parents, I make a big production about releasing control into his hands. I always say, with great power comes great responsibility! Lol. It sounds dorky but it is fun!

I hate H!

He realized we can't afford the Tesla, so he traded it in for a (new) Hyundai Elantra Hybrid... The new insurance is charging us $408 (3 months worth). Now he's saying we can't afford it and that it's mine and my dad's fault for convincing him to buy it...

I know I should leave him. I think everyone is right: I need to get some income for myself. I can't work full-time, but I'm going to look for a part-time job. I'm going to try to get the bariatric surgery first, and get healthy, then start making plans to go my own way.

I'm tired of the manipulation, I'm tired of the blaming, I'm tired of the lying, I'm tired of the selfishness and the controlling. He's also a selfish lover. I'm done with it.

I wish I wasn't alive...

The other dorky bedtime ritual we have at my house is that me and my Mom both fight to get into our pj's first. Whoever does, wins! My Dad doesn't join in because he sleeps in his underwear. He always says the cat wins.

When my Mom's Foster Mom comes to visit, she always gets in on the pj thing.

HUGS Scarlet

2.5 hours (approximately) until I see T.

I'm really sad tonight. I know it's partly because I saw Dr. T in person for the first time in like 2.5 weeks, then he's going out of town again for a week. So I was sad about that, even though session was pretty good today. But H and D and I have been sort of fighting tonight over assorted things, and I've been really emotional. It probably doesn't help that I saw ex-MC walking out of the coffee shop underneath Dr. T's office as I was walking from the parking lot (I doubt he realized it was me, as I was in sunglasses and a mask!) I'm just not sure what all is going on with me. Hope I can get it together soon. Really don't want to email Dr. T.

Hugs if wanted, Scarlet.


And to anyone else who needs/wants.

Hugs, Scarlet.... Those sound like good plans.

I put one of our cat trees out front today with a "Free" sign on it; I hope someone who can use it takes it. Neither of our remaining 2 cats ever use that one anymore and it just takes up space. We have a smaller one too that Penelope uses sometimes, so we'll keep that one.


Son and gf should be arriving at this evening's stop in a couple hours. Been thinking about them alllll day. And h should be at his first hotel in about an hour.


I have all these grand plans for the first of my evenings alone like finding/starting a new crochet project, and watching netflix and will more than likely fall asleep early instead haha.

hugs if wanted, LT. sounds like you've got a lot going on. I'm super emotional too still about my son moving away, still spending too much time beating myself up for the past and worrying about the future instead of looking for and finding the joy in the present. Maybe a good topic for when my coach calls in the next minute or so.


Keep writing here if it helps! I know I will.

I said goodbye to my therapist today. It’s time. As a matter of fact, she always said I’d know when I was done and I do.

It’s been seven years, almost. I really like her as a therapist and a person. So….yay, me? I graduated from trauma therapy. I’m sad *and* it is a good thing. I will miss her.

Congrats! Is that the right word? But it's great that you knew when it was time and were able to leave. And that you feel you've graduated.


I hope to be there at some point, too!

Thanks, Artie, it helps to hear you say that. I think some of this, too, is that it's D's first week of 5th grade. As far as we know, it's gone OK so far, but still really stressful.

It makes total sense that you're sad about your son moving away--it's a big change! Please try to not beat yourself up so much though--he's able to make this change because you raised him so well. And I struggle to stay in the present, too. Hope your coach is helpful!

(I initially typed "couch" instead of "coach," so maybe that suggests what I need tonight!)

That was really bad tonight. Probably the worst in years... The effects of abuse doesn't just last for the event. But H thinks that. Abuse has lasting effects.

Hugs, Scarlet.

One good thing today: I made chicken parmesan in the air fryer for the first time today. First batch, I burned the outside and cheese. Second batch was perfect!

an its the 60th anniversary (on Labor Day) of me getting my period for the first time, also starting 5th grade Wishing your little family the best!

So I started reading the post at the end (I never was one for suspense much) and I thought, “LT needs a coach? Like a Cinderella coach?”

Well, it could be useful while my car is in the shop today!

Thanks, Una! I was about to say, "You just know the anniversary of your first period?" But if it was on the first day of 5th grade, that makes sense you'd remember when it was.

I remember thinking how "labor" - Labor Day - and menses were connected and thought that a great coincidence. That kind of joke would NOT have flown at home, but it proves Mother Nature has a sense of humor!

Hugs if wanted, Scarlet.

I worry about you

The session with my coach was helpful yesterday. I'm feeling a lot better today about son moving so far away; I'm actually back to feeling more excited and happy for them than anything else. They probably aren't on the road yet today cuz they have only a 6 hour drive left til they get to their new city. They have one more night in an air b&b in their new city, then they get their apartment keys tomorrow morning!