Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

RIP to the Queen, just like Diana's crash 25 years ago I found out about her death on the radio.

Well, tomorrow morning at 8am is my first dentist appointment in over 6 years. I'm bumming cuz tonight's drum circle was canceled, would have given me something to focus on instead of my nerves... but, I am going to pull up the AbleTo app (that i use for the cbt program) and go through some of the exercises tonight so I can sleep. The progressive muscle relaxation is particularly helpful.

Good for you, Artie! I went 4 without one. Many cavities later, I learned my lesson and now see them regularly, as much as I hate it.

Today is really not a good day in my world. Events of national significance have meant that the service I was going to attend on Sunday has been cancelled.

I'm not dealing with it well at all.

I'm sorry, Lost. Hugs, if wanted.

Thanks, LT.

I am particularly annoyed as I'd spent the last couple of weeks mentally preparing myself for the event, only for the cancellation to bring everything that I'd been pushing aside roaring to the surface.

And I have to get through to next Thursday before seeing R...but I've already sent her a text, so she knows.

I need today to be over. See you Sunday.

edit: wrong thread!

Back from the dentist, taking myself out to breakfast afterward as a reward for actually going, and running a couple of errands. The dentist was not as bad as I'd feared it might be after 6 years... I had visions of a cavity in every tooth, or something. Turns out I have one small cavity that I'm getting filled next week (they only did xrays today) and another tooth is starting to crack, so needs a crown and that will be scheduled at some point after the filling. Other than those two things, everything else was fine. I like the dentist, he's very reassuring and easy to talk to, so I'll go back next week and see how the filling goes....

Talked to my son this morning too, just to say hi and wish him a good first day at his new job on Monday. He said they're pretty much all settled in, they got their fishing licenses yesterday and went fishing for the first time there (my son loooooves fishing), his gf caught 3 bluegill I think he said and he caught a baby largemouth bass.

fun times my internet has been in and out all day. silly outages. it's so odd though. my work internet is perfectly fine 100% of the time, it's my home internet that goes out at random times like today; yet they come into the house on the same line. I don't get how one can be down and not the other when they're on the same line. Weird.

That's odd, Artie. Is your work internet provided by a different ISP?

Artie, glad to hear the dentist went OK and that your son is doing well!

Well done for going artie. That really does take a lot of courage.

Are you using WIFI or cables to connect ?

Maybe this might help?

The most common Wi-Fi problems and how to fix them | Digital Trends

F is away but he’s still very active on Instagram with regards to posting and putting up stories of his honeymoon. He knows i follow him and his husband too. He’s not strict with boundaries at all. He replies on both insta and whatsapp.

I honestly feel like i am becoming attached to him but how do I not do my usual thing though and become so obsessed? Since i’ve been eight, all I ever do is just replace people who become my sole focus?

The first of the major assignments my class has is this weekend. So far, it looks like this:

So it's going well, is it? Your too funny.

Ive been watching "Anne" on Acorn, about the Hillsborough soccer disaster in 1989. Yeah i gotta say, i thought it was hooligans too. Kinda reads like a script for Jan 6.

Guess the wildfire smoke has rolled into town this morning. The sky looks like armageddon today. Very yellow, but when I take a photo, the yellow doesn't show up. This happened almost two years ago to the day, just after I started my disability leave from work for mental health reasons and P told me he was leaving at the end of the year and it was triggering because of the fire. Great memories!

Ugh, I'm sorry you're dealing with the smoke and the memories. Hugs, if wanted.

nope same ISP. there's one line into the house, and a splitter inside the house with one line off the splitter to my work modem, and the other to my personal modem.

Hugs if wanted, NP.

Splitters are known trouble spots for cable/internet issues.

I feel all alone and like no one wants to listen to me or be there for me. This is the third time H has exploded at me in 3 weeks. Once for car insurance, once for negotiating his salary for his new job, and then today for having ants. Yes, I choose to stay un the relationship, but only because I feel my alternatives are worse for me. If I had different options, I would leave. I would leave today. I don't think I deserve any of this even if I'm choosing to stay. I don't think anyone deserves this. But I feel like people are tired of me because of my decisions. All choices in this situation are difficult. I'm trying my best and setting future goals.

Can I please just have a little support. Even a hug. I'm really hurting.

It is never as easy as 'just leave'. There will be many reasons why you feel you have to stay, or at least why you don't feel able to leave at the moment. You will know when is right for you. It takes an enormous amount of effort and courage to stay in a relationship that is detrimental and makes you feel miserable. It can make you doubt and second guess yourself all the time. You most definitely don't deserve to be treated in this way, regardless of whether you are choosing to stay or not.

When you say you feel like people are tired of you because of your decisions, is there something specific that has been said by others, or is it just your inner critic having a go? There is no judgement here. We all have our reasons for tolerating things from others that we most definitely shouldn't have to tolerate. But no one is living your life. No one knows your truth better than you.

I really hope you can be kind to yourself, because you deserve compassion, from others and for yourself. It sounds as though H already has a way of pushing you down, don't do it to yourself as well.

((Hugs))

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