Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

My Laurence Olivier reference is (of course) 1939 Wuthering Heights with Merle Oberon.

I made it through the oral surgery with the help of nitrous and still had a horrible experience. It pisses me off that I still have the panic response and I can't control it. I am, above all else, a control freak.

Thanks for the good wishes couchies! Sorry about dumping on you.

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Hugs, Stressed. Glad you made it through, but sorry it was a horrible experience. I hope you're feeling better soon.

work is really slow again today so I'm watching Play It As It Lays (with Tuesday Weld) online and pausing it when i get a chat. that's another book that so affected me the first time I read it in college many years ago.

Mine is when its Laurence Harvey.

Artie you are getting too many life stress points

I dont remember reading that, joan didion right?

Exactly, Una. I've not read it either, but I'm a passionate observer of Joan Didion's work.

Hugs, Stressed. I'm sorry it was so horrible. I know how difficult it can be to control the panic response, so please try to be kind to yourself about it.

Hugs, Artie. That's a lot going on! Sorry the drum circle was canceled, but hope the CBT is helpful tonight. And hope all your appointments/tests go well.

She just transports you.

I've only read The Year of Magical Thinking, and I agree that it was transporting. It's like I was there with her.

I spoke with my pdoc's office again today about getting me the workplace accommodation letter. The practice manager said she would write it and email it. (Although she said on Monday she would work on it ASAP so not sure I believe her.) It literally should take 5 to 10 minutes maximum. All I want is something that says please give me my assignments in writing and if you want to give them verbally and in writing that's fine but verbal only is not enough. Sigh.

I think after lunch I am going to thoroughly clean my desk, wipe with lysol wipes, etc. The whole thing. Should give me something to do to keep my mind off of stuff.

I'm having a hard time coming to a comfortable temperature. Without my heater on I'm cold. With my heater on, I'm hot. Sigh. I dislike the middle seasons of Spring and Autumn because I can never get the temperature right.

That's a good idea, Kit. Having a clean desk always feels good, I am doing the same thing right now to my desk. It gets so piled up with papers and stuff.

Well a spot of good news anyway, nothing else wrong with my car. They weren't able to fix the tire, I drove too far on it flat. Oops. But, better to have to buy a new tire than sitting on the side of a busy road by myself in the dark if I hadn't driven all the way to the gas station. They're only charging me the labor for changing the tire, thankful that I had a full-size spare. I have to buy the special allen wrench that takes the hub caps off, so next time AAA will be able to change one for me. I know how, I'm just not as strong as I used to be and can't always loosen the lug nuts anymore! I think we're going to try to sell this car though and find me a slightly newer used one (this one's 17 years old). it's been a pretty darn good car especially considering we paid less than 2 grand for it several years ago. The other 3 tires need to be replaced too but... if we're gonna sell it anyway, I don't really want to put any more money into it and I don't drive often enough to be worth it. When I do drive, it's only for maybe 5 miles if that far (to the grocery store or pharmacy). anything else I use h's car when he's not on a job. I'm babbling. I wish this week would be over.

oh shoot!! i'm going to have to reschedule talking to C (cbt coach). I have to pick up my car by 4 so we have to leave right when I get off work and our call is scheduled for 3:30. I better go change that now.

Hey guys after a awful year of not having a car i was able to access my superannuation to get money to buy one Its a Toyota Camry with 2 owners the first used just fir work and sold it to their friend who had it for a year and they are selling it. It is magnificent. I didnt go through a car yard this time because the cars are really expensive and the last 2 cars i bought just blew up. Its a little bigger than i want but the smaller cars go so quickly and this seller was willing to bring the car to me as i couldnt get to them. Yay! Now for the price of petrol to go down i can dream

That car is (or was) considered a workhorse. Congratulations!

Imalso meant to mention it was maintained by the company as the last 2 cars i bought didnt have a log book . a mechanic once told me has seen used car managers just throw log books in the bin and pull out a bogus one.

Whats a log book?

I recommend Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird is one of her books) just because she includes this poem which makes me laugh out loud every time I read it:

We Who Are Your Closest Friends
(By Phillip Lopate)

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

A log book details every occasion your car was looked at by a mechanic and what was done.

SD your in rare form tonight. "Shes a goof."

This is marvelous.