Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

Very nice letter NP.

I agree that it's a good letter. I hope the judge grants you the order.

Scarlet, omg! Hope you feel better soon. Yeah a relative of mine died of a gangrenous gallbladder cuz he waited 3 months with the pain without going to the dr.

I went to a pretty useless urgent care today. When it doesnt hurt, im fine. When it DOES hurt, this dr said go ahead to emergency next time. She said it was NOT pancreatitis, more likely a stomach issue, and told me to take omeprazole.

But now that i have ozempic, will i even be eating?

Just checking in. Sorry but I cannot get caught up. So busy at work.

My T referred me to an NP who works with mental health so I'm seeing her instead of my old pdoc. Note that I had been diagnosed with ADHD when I was around 30 and I took Concerta for about ten or twelve years.

The psychologist who did the neuropsych testing had suggested trying a stimulant med to see if it couldn't help work my memory and severe brain fog. Neurologist refused because she thinks I'm just depressed or hormonal. Old pdoc refused because he doesn't believe adults can have ADHD.

The new NP was willing to give it a shot. It took several days to get the script filled but on the first day I took it...I almost cried. Brain fog 99% gone, thinking more clearly, can put ideas and actions into logical sequence without the trouble I had been having for months, just a huge relief.

I am so swamped with work. I stayed up all night once this week, stayed up to 1:30 AM last night and got no sleep. Definitely going to bed early today because I couldn't get much done. Too sleepy.

I hope things are going well for everyone. Maybe not everything, but that at least one area of your life is going well.

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Yeah, I count myself lucky that L helped me push H to go to the hospital. When I went two weeks ago, they told me I had GERD and A gallstone. They never mentioned the high wbc (13.8). Then this time the wbc was at 25.0! It wasn't gallstones or GERD. My gallbladder was infected.

Please be careful Una! It's better to be safe than sorry.

I'm home now. Still with an infection (18.6) and a drain (eeewww). Just grateful that everything is on the right track. They'll be sending a nurse out to me.

I wont even THINK about excess skin removal surgery (not that im anywhere close!) because of seeing those drain tubes on TLC. You are brave to be able to tolerate it.

Scarlet and Una I hope you will both be okay

Wow, I'm so glad the medication is making such a difference for you! I'm glad the NP was willing to try it. And really, your old pdoc didn't think adults could have ADHD? That's ridiculous.

Hope you can have an earlier night and get some sleep.

Scarlet and Una hope you're both feeling better soon!

Hugs and head nods all around as needed/wanted/appropriate.

hugs if wanted, mobius. seems a little odd to me, for a pdoc to not believe adults can have adhd. i'm glad that the NP was willing to prescribe what you need, and that you are already feeling some relief. I hope you continue to feel better and that you can get some much-needed sleep!

Mobius - i just had a similar but opposite conversation with the urgent care doc. I told her i had stopped taking my prozac and topamax a few months ago. She got all up in my business that i did it on my own, not on my drs orders.

I think i know what im doing! I am actually able to wake up in the effing morning now and i am pretty feisty for most of the day, doing bits and bobs all over the house. And i know to monitor myself for the tiny seizures i used to have - so far they have not reappeared.

8 years ago my insurance wrote me to say they were cutting off my ambien because i was too old (62). Id been taking the prozac and topamax for 20 years. I stopped taking welbutrin the same way - after i went no contact with my mother, it felt like it was trying to lift a weight off me that was no longer there.

THEY dont know how we feel, or why.

I havent even started my ozempic yet and im already afraid to eat anything cuz my stomach hurts! At least i got my beginning weight at the urgent med yesterday. Its finally starting to slip down again. Why would i get stuck at 242 for so long? Such an odd even number!

Hope you feel better soon!

I hate how sensitive I am to my T ending the session instead of me. I nearly always, like 99% of the time, am the one to say, "I know we need to stop," then we each pick up our phones and confirm the next meeting time.

But today, it was a pretty heavy session, with stuff about my D. I was aware of the time, and a few minutes before, I'd said, "I know we need to stop soon." Dr. T made a comment related to the topic, I took a breath, about to make another comment, and he said, "I'm going to need to wrap you up." Which triggered me crying and saying "I'm sorry if I overstayed, I'll get myself together quickly and leave." To which he said, "Goodness, I'm not kicking you out right now." How it seemed like I was possibly going on to another topic, so he wanted to let me know we were about out of time.

I said something about not wanting to go over time, and he said, "I'm not upset with you." I picked up the (vertical) box of tissues, tried to pull one out, and the last 5 or so came out (those boxes suck). Me: "I guess that was it for this box." Dr. T (kidding): "Now I'm upset with you!" Me: "They all came out at once! And you said I had to use up the boxes before you got the other kind." We still talked a minute, shook hands, he said to have a good weekend--me, "right, it's Friday"--then I headed out, sat in my car crying for a bit, then drove home.

I just wish I didn't react like that, that I wasn't so sensitive to his saying we had to stop, especially because I knew what time it was. I guess it's something I need to work on in myself.

So I had my last phone call with C yesterday after work (the cbt coach), because I finished the 2nd 8-week program. She was really helpful in getting me through the several stressful things that hit me the last couple-3 months and I'm grateful.

Hey remember Marcel the Shell? He made a movie last year. How did we miss it? I dont know why i happened to think of him. Maybe we can have a couch movie night. And bet on how long before SD walks out?

Well my T decided she couldn't do a Thursday night appointment after all, to which I said okay on the text back to her. Today I sent a text saying, "I guess it's Tuesday at six then?" I don't think I want a weekend session. My weekend feels stressful enough and I haven't even started my weekend yet. I am busy the next two weekends so I don't know what we are gonna do if we can't meet on Tuesday. I want to ask her if she is taking December off like last year but I kind of don't want to know the answer. i should ask though.

Hope you feel better Scarlet!

HUGS LT. I'm sorry you felt like you were a bother or something. HUGS

Ugh, Kit, that sounds really frustrating! Has she replied about Tuesday yet? And if she takes all of December off, that's a lot! Hugs...

Are you thinking of looking for a new T?

NP I hope the judge changes his/her ruling.

Thanks LT. No she hasn't replied about Tuesday yet. It will probably be at some random time in the early AM like 2 or 3 AM and I'll get a text. I sort of thought about checking through my insurance for an online T (since I see her online anyway) but I have to admit that the thought of changing T's again makes me want to cry. Then again, I keep thinking maybe I need the hospital again. Although I don't want to go. And twice in a year would be a whole new low for me. So IDK. Thanks for the hugs!

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you're wondering if you need the hospital again. Maybe if you had a T you could see more regularly, then you could possibly avoid the hospital? I do know how difficult the search for a possible new T can be.

Thanks, Kit! I know it's my own issues. But I just wish he'd let me end things on my own as usual. I mean, if I showed no signs of stopping and we were more than 5 minutes over, that's different. But I think it was only a minute or two, and he said recently in terms of how he's changing his coding for billing that he tends to go to 53 minutes with many clients (when I say the "I know we need to stop" at 48 minutes or so with the aim of getting out of there by minute 50 or so).