Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

Hi jersey girl! So sorry about your dad. Geez the way the cancer keeps popping up would depress anyone. No rest, no peace, which i am valuing more in my own old age. I hope he can focus on the positives remaining in his life. He has help getting to appointments, he has grandchildren. Wasnt ozzie osborne using some sort of assisted speaking device? Try to optimize home comforts. Maybe a kitten?

Hi Jersey I remember you. HUGS for you and Dad.

Last time I talked to my T she told me something totally random. She used to sleep naked until she was in an earthquake and thought, this is not a good idea. We were talking about an earthquake I was in as a child that totally messed up our house (so little t trauma I suppose). Just had to tell someone this because I have no idea why T told it to me. I told her I always sleep with my shoes by my bed. Just in case. I have also been known to sleep with my shoes on my feet. But that's an entirely other different story altogether.

this made me remember something

i always sleep covered up, just in case i have to flee from the house in a hurry if there's a fire or something

i remember my then-boyfriend when i lived with him, he didnt like it when i slept in my pajamas and would hide them then hide my clothes so i had to sleep with nothing on

Sometimes being the HR manager sucks. Especially when I know everyone's pay and when I know that people who have worked here less time than me and have approximately the same amount of responsibility as me are getting paid way more than me. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I didn't know. I feel sad. And miffed. And a bit jealous. But staying very professional about it. Just not thrilled on the inside.

Then again, I have missed 3 weeks this year due to my mental health. And I am asking for a workplace accommodation if my pdoc's office will ever get their act in gear and get it to me. So maybe I am a problem employee. Sigh. Not feeling well today. Uber sad. So this is the icing on the stinking cupcake.

In junior high, on saturday nights i used to sleep with a girdle and nylons stockings snapped into the garters on the long leg. It took me "too long" to get these accoutrements on before sunday church.

Im a naked sleeper now. Slipper/sandals next to the bed, tshirt dress coatrack next to front door. I should probably hang a coat next to the balcony.

Its ROI, isnt it? I cant sleep uncomfortably all my life just in case something happens which may never happen.

Slumber, i tear up my sheets with my rough heels - what do shoes to your sheets? but i have napped with my shoes when something weird was happening.

So it's very strange but I actually lay across the short end of the bed, instead of the long end, with my feet hanging off the bed, so whether or not I am wearing shoes, it doesn't matter because they are not actually ON the bed. (I have a queen size bed) I've done this for years, and it works out nicely now with Zoey, my 25lb Beagle, except for last night when she slept on my pillows.

Total reveal though: Zoey coughed up something and I still need to change my sheets, I just put the sheet over that part. It was like flem or something. And she gets sand in my bed. Ugh. I really need to change my sheets tonight.

And to be honest, I don't really care if T sleeps naked or not. I just thought it was TMI. You know that thing where if you are nervous about public speaking you are supposed to imagine people naked? Well when T told me that, I kind of imagined her naked and now it's an image I can't unsee!

*phlegm (it looks like a joke spelling, i know!)

I thought about getting a kingsize headboard for my queen, the long way like that. But i cant sleep with my feet hanging.

Thank you Una. Yes. He has grandchildren. They are 18, 17, 10 and 4 years old. (4 year old is my younger sisters child. The older 3 belong to my older sister)

I get his fears. For instance he said to the doctor “After surgery how do
I let the nurses know if I need anything while
I’m admitted in the hospital for the 10 days? How do I tell them if something hurts? If I can’t breathe? What about when I wake up if I can’t breathe. The doctor said breathing just happens when you wake up, just through your neck. He also said that the nurses who will be taking care of him only work with people who have a largynectomy so they are really on top of their game. Then he told my dad that unfortunately they do many of these surgeries and that going into the surgery with a will to want live after and get back to some normalcy greatly affects the outcome. People who want to talk again work hard at it. The issue with my dad is that he can’t win for losing. I can’t blame him for feeling that way, though. However this surgery is his only lifeline. If he doesn’t get it..he will be gone by Christmas.

Wow. I’m rambling. Sorry.

OMG. Flem is spelled phlegm? You have got to be kidding me?! I would never have guessed that in a million years.

Its a great word, isnt it? It was once considered to be one of the "humours" that humans were grouped into - phlegmatic (slow and stuffy), i have to google the rest.

blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Per Hippocrates!

Hugs, Jersey 4. so sorry to hear about your dad.

Hi Jersey! I’m so sorry about your dad. That’s got to be so scary.

I’m back from getting my (temporary) crown done. It already hurts even though I’m still numb. It was not fun, and the cement they use tastes so gross! Now we shall see how the rest of the night goes…

Hugs, Jersey, I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope the surgery is successful and recovery isn't too bad. Though his fears make total sense. Could they maybe have a whiteboard and marker he could write on? Or some sort of text to speech app on a phone?

My parents' good friend had surgery for some sort of cancer in his throat maybe 5 years ago--I don't think it was his larynx, but some other part. He had to use a feeding tube for a long time (and I think still mostly does by choice), but he generally recovered OK, without a recurrence (he's in his 70s, I think, or maybe 80s now, as he's a bit older than my parents). Not sure how helpful that is, as it's not the same surgery, but I'd imagine anything involving the neck/throat is scary. And make one wonder if it's it worth it, if it will greatly affect their quality of life.

Is he local to you?

Kit, this does seem like a really strange thing for her to share. I mean, maybe if you directly asked her how she slept? But it seems rather irrelevant to what you were talking about (aside from the earthquake connection). I understand how once you think of someone naked, it can be difficult to unsee!


For whatever reason, I have a lot of trouble sleeping without clothing on. I pretty much always wear pajama shorts or pants, plus a sleeveless or short-sleeve top. And I need blankets covering me, even if it's a bit warm (I use a fan). I think it makes me feel more secure.

That was very wrong for him to do. I'm glad he's a then-boyfriend and not a current one....

Thanks LT. I sleep with a blanket on too (except not on my feet for fear that they will get tangled up in the case of an earthquake and I won't be able to get out of bed and then I will die because my ceiling will fall in on me). I also sleep with a fan on for about 10 months out of 12.

I'm still mind blown that flem is spelled with a Ph and a G

makes me wonder what other English words are hiding behind a ph.

On a separate topic. My sister who has a PhD in some sort of education type subject, is now getting her second master's. This one in Marriage and Family therapy which is interesting as she is going through a separation and probably a divorce soon. I asked her if she wanted to be a therapist and she shrugged. I told her she would probably make more money doing that than if she stays a pre-school teacher. I know one other pre-school teacher that has a PhD. but my sister is WAY over qualified for her job.

My pdoc's practice manager is taking forever to get back to me with an accomodation letter. It's been 10 days. I have 5 more virtual meetings scheduled this week. I could really use that backup support saying to please give me my tasks in writing. UGH. I'm frustrated. And sad. And jealous of my coworker making a heck of a lot more money than me. And all sorts of things. At least I am supposed to have therapy tomorrow. That will probably be good.

he would also hit furniture if something didnt go his way, i remember

Hi LT. Nice to (see?) you again. Yes. He’s very local. Like 3 minutes away. Thanks for the story about your parents friend. My father will also have a feeding tube for quite some time. He will be in the hospital for 10 days following the surgery and they are supposed to remove the feeding tube at that time and introduce a soft diet from there he will be on a soft diet for a month or so then if there aren’t any complications he should be able to resume eating solids. The whole thing is just so scary and his fears are legitimate and understandable. He won’t have the plastic tube sticking out of his neck, just a stoma but there is still daily care involved in keeping that cleaned. I honestly thought planting this somewhere would help but it didn’t relieve any of the heaviness in my heart and the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. It felt good to tell people but it didn’t take any power of it.

There's a children's book called P is for Pterodactyl (the worst alphabet book ever) that I think PreschoolManatee will love once she is old enough to not be utterly confused by it.

The value of knowing ancient Greek.

Also, it's faze not phase. This has been a PSA.

"flem" doesnt even LOOK like a word to me. But i dont know how you could look it up in a dictionary. Snot easy! I love that you are astounded!

My nephew and i used to play Upwords, which is a sort of build-upwards scrabble, then he loved to unlayer it to the base and discover new "words" which were just bizarre combinations of letters.

He had to write an essay once about Easter, i was memorialized as "one aunt played scrabble."