[20oney]

Does anyone ever do this? If so, how? What do you say? How do you go about it? What are the reasons? Does it betray your current T?

It’s coming up to the time of year when I left my old life behind. So, things often pop up. It’s been close to 5 years since I’ve had any form of contact with my old therapist. But I’ve found myself thinking of her a bit these last few weeks/months. Maybe because I had a rupture with my T, but I’m not too sure about that.

I don’t know what I would want to say to her or if it is even worth it because I don’t want to email her and then feel some sort of connection arise that I want to cling to.

I guess I’m missing her? Reminiscing on that time in my life and the things I worked through with that particular T. How she was accepting an validating to where I was in life and didn’t try to stop me from doing what I did - up and leaving.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I email T every month. I update her on my life and how my therapy with L is going. At first, yes!, I felt like I was cheating on them with eachother. Now that it's been 4 years since I started with L, I don't feel like I'm cheating on either one. Instead, they are both a part of my life, both a part of my team. There is no competition between them, no fears of favoritism, each are confident in their roles in my life. They know both are important to me, and both just want what's best for me and trust me to make my own decisions.

I think, at least for me, the fear of cheating is because that's what I experienced in my life: favoritism, not being able to share friends, jealousy, being pulled in two different directions. But mainly favoritism. But I'm learning that that's not how healthy relationships work. That two people can love you at the same time without being threatened by the other person. It's still hard for me to grasp sometimes. Okay, a lot of times.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I email T every month. I update her on my life and how my therapy with L is going. At first, yes!, I felt like I was cheating on them with eachother. Now that it's been 4 years since I started with L, I don't feel like I'm cheating on either one. Instead, they are both a part of my life, both a part of my team. There is no competition between them, no fears of favoritism, each are confident in their roles in my life. They know both are important to me, and both just want what's best for me and trust me to make my own decisions.

I think, at least for me, the fear of cheating is because that's what I experienced in my life: favoritism, not being able to share friends, jealousy, being pulled in two different directions. But mainly favoritism. But I'm learning that that's not how healthy relationships work. That two people can love you at the same time without being threatened by the other person. It's still hard for me to grasp sometimes. Okay, a lot of times.

Does T respond? What’s the dynamic there? I am interested.. It’s pretty cool that you’ve been in touch for that long

[ScarletPimpernel]

T always responds, but never lengthy. She was never into long emails. She'll tell me she's proud of me and encourages me. Sometimes, when L and I have a rupture, I can go to T and ask for help. She'll remind me of my history with L, and give me a couple suggestions.

She's also my back up therapist when L is out of town. I can contact her by email or phone during this time. And sometimes I schedule a session with her to connect with her if I'm struggling holding onto her.

L encourages me to keep in contact with T. Both have told me that they won't abandon me, and both are proving it.