Important sessions: take notes or go with your gut??

Hi all,

I'm beginning to drive myself up the wall in preparing for next week's session.

Last week I had an important event, and this week will be my first opportunity to discuss with R.

When you have an important session, or something big to talk about, do you usually take notes into session, or do you go with your gut?

Many thanks,

Lost

Hi Lost...

In your poll I said that I take notes. But to clarify, I don't spend the entire session looking at or reading the notes. I just try to take the highlights from them and then go with my gut/see where the conversation leads. I don't want to be too structured that I miss out on a good insight from the T but sometimes I need a little structure to make sure I get all the top points said.

Just my 2 cents. I hope your session goes well and is helpful to you.

HUGS Kit

Years ago I prepared notes but now I just go with my gut.

I voted "other." If there is a certain order I want to explain things in or a few key details that I'm afraid I'll forget, I write a few notes. It's only enough to fit on an index card or a Post-it note. Then I go with my gut and follow the conversation wherever it leads.

I've done both. Sometimes, I'll write up a few notes beforehand and have them with me (a couple times, I've had a whole page of typed notes!). I won't always refer to them, but it can help having them there in case I draw a blank. Or if there's an important point I want to make but not forget.

So I say write something up, bring it along, then see how you feel in the moment, whether you need the notes or not. I've also brought something (typed--my handwriting is awful!) that I handed my T to read (a few times with Dr. T and once with ex-MC).

I hope it goes well!

I have never taken preparatory notes into a session, I think those are the kind of notes you mean - like a summary or points to cover. It would seem like a presentation if I were to do that. I do take images or my creative writing to work with, but that is a different kind of information.

I also don't go with my gut because I don't have a good gut sense. Do you mean not preparing at all?

I suppose I do something in between because I almost always journal or do other work between sessions. This work informs what I speak about.

Sometimes I forget things and I don't know what to say, or I can't express something clearly, or my shame shuts me up, or my hostility kicks in and things deteriorate. It's uncomfortable to not be able to express yourself perfectly, but isn't that part of the point? I can imagine that notes might help with fluency, but I would lose so much emotional information by not experiencing the discomfort - the hard work is in those unspeakable bits. Plus, any kind of somatic work is lost with notes.

Interesting question because I have just started a creative course which is focused on your own words and language and place. It has prompted me to think a lot about how disconnected I am from those factors about my self; it feels like the idea of notes and preparation fits into my reflections.

I almost always bring notes, because we do a lot of dream work - I work with each dream prior to my session and bring my notes. Also, in the past if there was something I knew would be hard for me to say, I bring notes so I can just read it to her out loud for some reason that's easier than just trying to speak it without the notes.

I write a letter ahead of time... I really struggle to voice things in sessions, so this helps me.

I bring in notes sometimes. I also take notes sometimes. Depending on the issue and the session, sometimes I start with something and then go with the conversation. Other times, I tell T that there are certain things that I want to be sure to bring up. T is always supportive of that.

I bring notes Sometimes! If I have a lot to get through it can help me not get lost but I don’t like just reading things aloud as it feels weird, so I’ll refer to the notes to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything or go blank.
I take notes too as I often say I’ll think about something and then can’t remember what it is

I usally bring in my notes and or journal depending on how much I write about it before my session. I also go with my gut too. The notes help me to not forget.

I write a letter for her to read in session or I write her an email beforehand. Otherwise, I just go with my gut. I used to plan out sessions, but found it really didn't help because I couldn't actually predict how the session would flow.

I journal every evening, so I always have notes that are generally not specifically related to therapy. However, sometimes I bring them up and we talk about it. Usually though T will lead the session, and I more or less join him for the ride. Sometimes he will give me homework and I bring that. Most important sessions though are not based on my notes. In fact, most sessions are not. However, some things I cannot say, and writing them helps me bring it up in the first place.

I voted other. When important things happen during the week, I often write them down just to remember them, since if it happens early on in the week, I have often forgotten how impactful it was to me at the time (even if it's something really big, I usually still write a short note of it). If I feel like I need help in deciding what to talk about, I check these notes before session. I go over it in my head, like what I more or less want to say, but in session I've never looked at notes, I just go with whatever I think of and feel in the moment.

I guess I do quite a lot of writing to M. Not every session but yes, many sessions I bring a note with important ideas or topics jotted down on it. If I don't do that I'll be sure to forget something that is meaningful to me, something i want to discuss in session. Sometimes I email M. before sessions (in between sessions). She often prints out what I've emailed and we discuss it. Once I took a 5-page "story" (written out like a story, but it was autobiographical). It looked long, but actually took me only twenty minutes to read aloud.

What are you struggling with exactly, Lost...are you afraid that what you've written will be too long, or not clear?

Thanks for asking, Beth.

I am worried that I will get bogged down in the detail of what I have written and miss the point of actually being able to process my feelings about the experience.

I rarely went into a session with notes unless it was a particular journal entry that I wanted to read verbatim.

On occasion there was something that I wanted to remember from our session and I took notes. It wasn’t often, but it was usually something like steps we had discussed in some sort of process.

I had the session yesterday and ended up doing a combination of both.
I had notes, but tried to be guided by what I felt was most important for her to know.
Ultimately, I feel as though I failed somewhat in imparting the most important information.

I'm sorry you feel like you didn't get to some of the most important information. I've had session like that and they suck. Sometimes it's because we get side tracked, other times it's because there's just too much information to go through.

Can you email your T telling her that you didn't get to some of the important stuff? Or call her? I know L's reassurances, empathy, and even just acknowledgement helps soothe me. Instead of notes, could you write a letter? Or give her the notes? I've done both. For the notes, can you prioritize the information on which ones are most important to be first in the order?

Thanks, Scarlet,

R is open to email, but I've noticed lately that she doesn't seem to receive my messages.

I find it frustrating that I can't seem to trust that form of communication in the way I did.

That's probably my stuff coming up, though.

You're allowed your feelings. It's okay to be frustrated and to not feel comfortable with emails. Hopefully, you can find either other avenues of communication and/or find a way to get some relief until you get to see her again.

I won't be surprised if your upcoming session brings more of a feeling of success with what you're working on right now. I think of some sessions as "two-parters."

I have no idea how or what your emailing looks like, but I was having the same problem. Emails I sent weren’t getting received by her. Also when I checked the Sent folder, it didn’t show it there either.

I have an iphone, and I figured out that it was sending the emails from my icloud email, instead of gmail. I never changed any settings, so I have no clue why it was doing that. I was using the regular mail app for my emails. I downloaded the actual gmail app, and every email I sent through there has gone through.

Just posting my experience just in case yours is similar.

Thanks, Velcro.

I'm not sure whether it's a technical issue, or whether she simply doesn't see my messages.

It may be a conversation we need to have, but of course, I'm far too chicken for that.