Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Therapy is weird, alright.

You don't have to justify leaving to her

Like lost said I would recommend blocking her too.

This is your sign from the universe telling you to start doing them more from now on!



Maybe hiring a campervan might be cheaper then the hotel?

I don't feel like I should block her number. Current T has suggested it but I'm just not ready. Like if I block her and then she does something crazy, I don't know. I just don't want to end up feeling responsible for her behavior. Maybe I'm trauma bonded!

I'd love to do that and we keep talking about it but haven't seriously looked into it yet...

Hugs, Kit. I agree that she shouldn't have contacted you. And kept trying to make you feel bad for leaving.

I get your reluctance to block her. I'm not sure what kind of phone you have, but could you at least turn off notifications for your texts from her (if you haven't already), so her texts don't pop up on your screen? I know you can do that with an iPhone, unsure about Android ones. You can still see them if you click on texts, but it wouldn't pop up in the middle of something else you're doing, for example.

I think I'm the target of a bully at work. She was 30 minutes late relieving me for lunch the other day so I called and asked when she would be there (fair question - especially for diabetic me). She ripped me a new one for asking and then told me she was giving me "advice". She proceeded to tell me that I talk smack behind coworkers backs (I don't) and that no one likes me or trusts me because of it and I make the workplace no fun.

She also openly mocked me on email (it went to about 45 recipients) for making a simple mistake (I've only been at this job 4 months). One of the recipients even told me it was over the top. She also ripped me a new one for sending her an email instead of calling (we work at two different desks in a retirement community). It wasn't urgent and I figured I wasn't taking her away from more serious tasks. At least now I have a paper trail of her ripping me a new one.

I love my job.......not sure if I should go to my supervisor, or HR, or both.

Ugh, that's awful, I'm sorry! You deserve to be treated much better than that.

Granted, it's been 12 years since I worked full-time in an office. But I would say to go to your supervisor first before HR. Does she also supervise the bully? The only reason I'd hesitate to do that is if, say, they seemed like they were really close. But I still think it's probably better to start with your supervisor. Was she copied on the email by any chance?

If your supervisor doesn't do anything (or can't, if she's, say, in a different department), then I might try HR.

Thanks! My Supervisor is a guy but he supervises both of us. He was copied on the email and I don't believe that they are close at all. I continually seek out feedback on my performance from supervisor and he always says I'm doing a great job and that the residents love me and I always go above and beyond for them. He always tells me that he's not one to let a problem go and if he had a problem with my work he would address it with me.

I work tomorrow - I think I'll carve out some time with supervisor.

Could really use a chat with my therapist. But she's still on vacation. So I chatted with the 988 line for 45 minutes. I've been feeling SI. For like a week. Sometimes it isn't so intense. Ex-T kind of set it off though. Ugh. I am not even pretending to be productive at work today. I am answering phones and that's it. Doing my best to keep my stuff together.

Oops, sorry for thinking your supervisor was female! It does sound like you should talk to him, as it seems you have a good relationship. I hope talking to him helps.

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you're struggling (especially if it's partly due to ex-T--ugh). It's good you reached out to the 988 line. Are you meeting with her this week? I can't recall whether you were still having a session with her while she's away or if she only had the one day available, and you couldn't meet then.

We have a session on Wednesday. I have my Pdoc at 12:30 PM and then my therapist at 1 PM. I took half a day off of work for this. I think I will need the time to recuperate after session.

HUGS Kit

Hope the sessions help!

me too.....

Talked a bit with my coworker in NY about how I have been having SI. She was lovely. Very encouraging. I needed that today.

We've only met once in person. But we chat on Microsoft Teams a lot. Mostly about work. Sometimes about our beagles. We each have a beagle. We send each other Birthday presents. She's darling. She helped me feel a little better.

What I am feeling right now is extremely overwhelming. I told you all that I was diagnosed. with plantar fasciitis. Two podiatrists. The second one he didn’t think it was orthopedic. But he tried a cortisone shot. Didn’t work

Sent a referral to a rheumatologist. aka arthritis. I went back to my doctor’s office and she found no markers for arthritis. COOL. at this point. so for now we are avoiding arthritis.

There’s js much more to tell, i keep dropping my phone bc i am exhausted.

More terrible will be aoon

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks without a cigarette! I have craved them every single day. It has been so hard. I literally feel paralyzed, like I cannot do anything.

I'm also realizing that seeing L's H has really ****ed me up. She has never said one good thing about him. Neutral at best. She said my "impression is inaccurate". Gee thanks. That's not my fault. And it's not like I want to spend a session hearing her defend the guy. *sigh* Why did he have to be stupid and stay there that day?!?!

Hugs, Velcro. I'm sorry you're having so much trouble getting a diagnosis and relief from the pain. Are you still going to see the rheumatologist? (Or were they the one who found no markers?) It could still be beneficial if not arthritis, as they might have other ideas. They diagnose autoimmune issues, too, though I hope it's not something like that.

Three weeks is awesome, Scarlet! I hope it gets easier...

And I'm sorry you still feel messed up from seeing L's H. I understand how that would be jarring. Hugs, if wanted.

The title of this thread reminded me of this song from way back in '66 ...



May Your Tuesday Be As Whimsical As That Little Number!

Talked with my supervisor at work today. He was very supportive. I asked him not to take any action now but if the bullying or harassment continues or escalates I will let him know. I did forward him the nasty emails she sent me. He was like "WOW". He told me that no one has ever complained about me and he won't allow it to continue if it does.

I am glad that your supervisor was supportive Polibeth. I hope that the bullying or harassment does not continue and that the workplace becomes a good place to work.

I have one supervisor that is mean to me. I am supposed to go to my boss if we have an issue. I went to him today. He just said, don't take it personally. Hmmph.

I'm glad your boss was supportive, Polibeth. And good to know he won't let things continue like this.

Thanks LT.
I was literally falling asleep as I was typing last night, so didn’t get to finish the story. I got an MRI done about 3 weeks, and I JUST saw the doctor on Friday to go over the results.’He walks in and goes “Well, it’s
not plantar fasciitis, there is some nerve damage. UGH. So we made an appt to get a nerve study done with a different doc, on June 22!!! Ahhhh..

So, depending on how I am feeling/what the results
of the tests, I still will need surgery, which apparently is not that much different than one for plantar fasciitis.

TW: Very light use of an ED



When my doctor, she came in and I was sobbing. I told her about what happened and she said she will make a note and it won’t happen again. I updated her on my feet, telling her it is a nerve issue. Then we moved onto how I am starting a new position TOMORROW. Cried through that as well.

I managed to distract myself and half-watched a movie, and then knew I wouldn’t be able to focus or concentrate anymore. I went to bed and just lost my s***e. I started bawling and couldn’t stop. I cried for about 45 minutes before I hear my trauma T’s voice rise out of nowhere, saying “If you are feeling this way, call the crisis line.”

I usually don’t like to use it, because these people a strangers, and what do they know about my suffering? But, I had been sobbing for an hour by then, so I thought I would try. I called 3 times, only to learn they ALL went directly to my voicemail. I was still crying every time I called too. On the 3rd call, they put me with someone directly.

As I had expected, it was useless. The woman focused on the fact that my company could
have fired me when I ran out of FMLA. That I should be grateful. I KNOW they could have fired me. I am a grateful that they found me a position where i can sit more. I told her that I still might need surgery in June, and then I REALLY will get fired. Or if my pain comes back more, because I know I won’t be sitting the entire shifts. I feel the only reason that they feel “ok” is because I only leave the house if needed. Which isn’t much.

And when I told this woman how devastated that I am about losing my previous position of
being a preschool teacher completely destroyed me, she was like “Well it’s not like you won’t see kids at your new job. Maybe you will still see them in the hallway.” I explained to her twice that this was a completely different job at a different facility. That yes. I will see them passing through, but isn’t like I hang out with the same kids every day, and form relationships with them.

OMG, this is a novel, I’m sorry. You can blame this on my T-she was supposed to call at noon today. I do have to drive 45 minutes to see my pdoc tonight, so i (hopefully) will have less time to freak out about tomorrow.