Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Hugs, Lemon. I understand the push-pull thing as I did it with L for a very long time. All the many times I 'quit' only to go back after a few weeks. It was a major pattern for me in the past. Have you talked about that at all with him, the push/pull and the fear that he'll hurt you? I don't know if it would be helpful or not, of course; just wondering.

I hope that if he's been helpful for you that instead of hard-stopping maybe you can call it a break just to assimilate or whatever and then go back even if it's just briefly to talk about the resistance and push/pull stuff to see if you can continue anyway and let it just be what it is. It's so hard, I mean it took me a whole year away before I was ready to really start working on it and to get totally honest with myself about some things.

And really, in the grand scheme of things, 9 months isn't all that long as far as the depth of trust this work can take. I saw L for over 10 years and still didn't have enough trust to tell her some of the stuff I've told her in the past couple of weeks. I think perhaps, that may be just the way it is and I'm finally accepting that.

I feel dreadful today. It's not even noon and I wish this day was over already. I'm so tired of everything.

I think seeing a back up T would be really good for you LT! just to get another perspective on things with Dr T. I might be confusing posters but Is she the same T you thought of switching to previously?

What other progress do you think you've made with him?

I converted some brussels sprouts haters into eaters tonight with sauteeds shaved brussels sprouts - at first they ate a bite just to be polite but then the whole bowl disappeared -so I suggest trying shaving them if you haven't liked them other ways.

I converted some brussels sprouts haters into eaters tonight with sauteeds shaved brussels sprouts - at first they ate a bite just to be polite but then the whole bowl disappeared -so I suggest trying shaving them if you haven't liked them other ways.

Thank you for this reply artie. I might see him on thursday this week. We haven't confirmed yet. Just wish I got get to the healed part already lol.

I feel dreadful today. It's not even noon and I wish this day was over already. I'm so tired of everything.

I use a knife to cut them but you can use a food processor. The knife takes longer but I hate cleaning the fp. I just heat up some olive oil, toss in a chopped onion and maybe a clove or two of garlic, then toss in the brussels sprouts and quickly saute -toss in a little knob of butter, salt, pepper, and eat

Thanks, sounds good. We very rarely use our food processor for the same reason.

Hugs, I'm sorry you're feeling so rough. I hope you got through the day OK.

I decided to go to the supermarket my ex and I used to shop at, something I have only done once in the last four or five years. They now charge a 50 cent fee to pay with a credit card. Seems bogus. This isn't a small chain store. I'm wondering when or if I'll ever stop being triggered by the sight of boxed wine. Feels like nobody gets why that triggers me or understands what kind of memories it dredges up for me. Or if they did understand, they'd be like "get over it already". I hate my life.

Thanks, Lemon. This is the one I've seen a few times (maybe like 7 times?) while Dr. T has been on vacation--she works in the same office suite (though they're both solo practitioners). She's more warm and fuzzy with trauma training (though a few years ago, she switch much of her practice to working with business owners).

I've wished a couple times that I could switch to her, but Dr. T has said that would be bad practice on her part to take me on because they work together some.

One of my biggest areas of progress with him is listening to my own voice and feelings more. Rather than being so affected by what others tell me. He agrees and mentioned it a week or so ago. There are some other things, too, but that's the one that jumps out the most and affects me in various parts of my life.

I think I've also gotten better at communicating with some people, like my H. Funny that Dr. T seems to have helped more with that than ex-MC....

There's some other stuff, too, that I might type up later.

No triggers are triggers and deserve compassion. You’ve been traumatised- you don’t get over that overnight. I think EDMR therapy could help you work through with the triggers NP.

Hi Couch,

I'm sitting here with my phone beside me, and the number for the local suicide loss support group.

This time of year demands a lot from me anyway, so I don't know why I'm asking more of myself....but I've been informed that I need the paperwork if I want to attend the groups in person.

At this point, I'd like to have the option.

ugh. i had an appointment to see my doctor this morning, and it just got canceled. It takes WEEKS to get an appt with her, and I really needed this appt, even if for my sanity.