Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator

I have never taken psych meds long term but I do feel that many years of experience and self awareness has modified how I view myself, react to situations and where my priorities are. I do feel the discrepancy when I deal with personality tests as I think (I posted about this above) most target stereotypes and simplistic concepts/interpretations. I do need to consciously decide whether I want to complete tests/surveys like these using my default reactions/answers or the views I have developed via life experience and self work. I don't feel that there are huge differences and contradictions but lots of subtle things and I no longer find these kinds of assessments very helpful, I don't find anything new in them. But it can still be fun.

As for the "altered self" due to medications, years of therapy, life experience etc - my view is that if the result and change is constructive, I much prefer to consider my current way of being my true self, here and now. Many of my older, earlier ways of acting and thinking just no longer work for me and/or if I acted them out, it would feel like regression. And since that's not what I want/find useful, I prefer to take who and what I am here and now as the most significant and "real". This includes if I am dealing with problems here and now that were not issues earlier, because ignoring them would not generate progress or give me a sense of satisfaction and being aligned with my values. I think some elements of our personal values and sense of self are established early in life, but not all. I like to see it plastic and dynamic, not steady and something completed in the past.

Psych meds can indeed change how we feel and react to situations - that's the whole point! If you don't feel happy with how the meds work, maybe change the regimen or try stopping if that is safe for you?

I think that's a really interesting point. I tend to find with personality tests of any sort that I struggle with questions about fear and anxiety. This is because I suffer from an anxiety disorder that is sometimes severe, but I do not consider myself to be an anxious person. So, say the question was "do you worry a lot?", I'd think "well, technically yes I do, but it's not 'in my nature' to do so and not part of my personality"... Does that make sense or do I sound a bit ridiculous?

That is exactly what I mean!

"I put fear aside and do what needs to be done."
My anxiety prohibits me from doing many, many things. I can't put it aside. But naturally I have a passionate value system that I will fiercely fight for. Naturally, yes, I will do what I believe in and what needs to be done to follow my values, but in real life, no. My fear is crippling.

"I strive for objectivity."
Yes, I do. I have to work hard for it - because I wouldn't value objectivity nearly as much if I didn't have crazy bipolar emotions running my life. So do I strive for objectivity? I exert strong effort to, yes, but is it in my nature? No.

I struggle with at least half the questions on personality quizzes, it seems, because I'm so confused about which answer to put. Sometimes I don't even know what's me and what's the illness and what's the meds.

Yes, I feel the same - that years of therapy, learning about myself and life, learning coping skills - it has changed me. I really liked how you described that. If I answered based on an old version of myself pre-change, then the answers wouldn't feel accurate. If I have changed, then that is my true self as I take the quiz.

My meds are working really well, actually. Meds aren't optional with bipolar, and thankfully they've gotten me better in the last two years than I've ever been. I know part of taking meds is side effects, and the things I've lost are absolutely worth what I've gained since I've gone on them. Losing the creativity and intuition about people certainly hurt my soul, but when I'm busy trying to be happy in my life, I don't think about them much. When these kinds of quizzes come up, though, I do think about them.

If you had a creative bent unmedicated and still have that sort of interest, I am sure that you can find your style and channel again. Perhaps not that extreme and consuming, but maybe more disciplined and quality?

I definitely consider myself a creative person but when I am mentally unwell, it tends to take some very dark, extreme and self absorbed forms and I find myself living in a destructive fantasy world and not contributing to anything otherwise important for me. I tend to be very obsessive yet cannot produce anything truly high quality because I don't have the strategy, endurance and discipline - at least what meets my standards for that. Sometimes I feel a bit nostalgic for the wild extreme imagination associated with my craziest periods but not really... stability and the ability to actually live a decent life far outweighs the attraction of madness and self destruction. I've seen this in many creative people who experienced mental health challenges, there is often some grief for what's perceived as lost and then often a much higher appreciation in what's found in a calmer, stabler way of being.

80% Caregiver and, interestingly, 70% Creator and 60% Destroyer.

Also Slytherin

Me too. I rarely chose the highest or lowest end. Only a few times. I was a more in the middle kind of guy.

SD and velcro. Walking illustrations of Aristotle's Golden Mean.

Yeah, I really did choose a lot of "3s." I was like "eh, i don't know!" and chose the "neutral" option.

The Caregiver70%
The Creator90%
The Destroyer65%
The Innocent30%
The Joker85%
The Lover65%
The Magician65%
The Orphan95%
The Ruler80%
The Sage95%
The Seeker70%
The Warrior90%

The Orphan and the Sage were my highest at 95%. fit me pretty well

Caregiver 95%,
Orphan 85%

Guess that kind of fits