[hopealwayz]

I emailed my T yesterday to ask for an appointment next week and I never heard back from him or the receptionist. So then last night, I emailed the office to let them know that I wasn't doing well. This morning, I still hadn't heard anything so I asked again for an appointment next week hoping to hear a yes or a no but nothing came. So I guess I feel disappointed and upset so tonight I emailed the office and told them to cancel my March 1 appointment. I feel disappointed right now.

I am so sorry.

Understand disappointment completely but I hope it's just a misunderstanding, and he gets back to you soon.

[junkDNA]

i dont understand why you canceled the next scheduled appointment? are you trying to show them you are angry and hurt? you're only shooting yourself in the foot by canceling it, if that is why you did it

[LonesomeTonight]

Do you know if they make appointments by e-mail? It may be that they want to schedule by phone. And I agree that it doesn't help to cancel an appointment. It could be that the receptionist is sick or on vacation right now--it probably has nothing to do with you. Plus a day isn't that long for e-mail. It's not realistic to expect them to get back to you that quickly. Give them another chance...

Find ways to keep yourself busy and distracted. Watch some good movies or take some long walks. Continuously emailing is an issue that created problems with your last therapist. It's fine to call once and ask the office if they have openings. They'll call you back IF something opens up but if they didn't get back to you, that isn't personal; they just don't have an opening. To cancel an appointment to somehow punish them for not answering makes no sense. Two weeks between sessions may seem long, but it is a period of time you can handle with some focus on keeping your time constructively occupied; you've managed longer between appointments -- you can do this too. Now you've cancelled your appointment, and the length will be even longer -- kind of shooting yourself in the foot.

[Pain94]

I agree, sometimes my T doesnt have time to answer me either. But also explains and there is always good reason. He well over makes up for it when he does. But ya"punishing" T by cancelling won't help, it may even backfire.

[growlycat]

Please make a phone call. Email goes down or has spam filter issues all of the time. They may not have gotten your email. I did exactly as you did once. T was baffled at why I was acting angry and not showing up. He never got my emails.

[rainboots87]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Do you know if they make appointments by e-mail? It may be that they want to schedule by phone. And I agree that it doesn't help to cancel an appointment. It could be that the receptionist is sick or on vacation right now--it probably has nothing to do with you. Plus a day isn't that long for e-mail. It's not realistic to expect them to get back to you that quickly. Give them another chance...

As someone who does all the scheduling at a T office, pretty much this. I was out sick for 2 days recently, so couldn't respond to any emails and no one else has access to the email but me.

Also, my usual turn around time is within 24 business hours. My own T has a 48 hour response time (except over weekends/vacations). If I know the answer right away, I respond as soon as I see a message. If I need to check a T's availability or office availability, etc., I wait until I have all the information to respond- sometimes this requires waiting on not just the T but also other clients to tell me something first (cancellations, rescheduling, special events ,etc). If someone cancels, I just take that at face value, because I don't have time to convince people to come in.

Also, not often, but sometimes things do get buried in my email, so if you don't hear back after a couple of days, then politely follow-up. When people call and 5 minutes later email me and then call again within 10 min/an hour/whatever, it gets to be a bit much. I sometimes have some other task to do that requires more urgent attention, but will get to an email when I can.

BAsically, there are many reasons you may not have heard back yet, and I know it's hard waiting, but try to be patient. It's still within a reasonable time frame for them to respond. Are there some coping skills you can use while you wait?

[hopealwayz]

You are all right. Thanks for the responses. I did send an email saying that I wanted my appointment and one next week if I could get in and I'm going to leave it at that.

[hopealwayz]

I just want SOME response from Ts office. Ugh.....

[hopealwayz]

That is what has me upset right now.

[Pennster]

I'm sorry it's so hard! Is there a reason you don't want to call on the phone? Email can be so much trickier than the phone! I remember when I first started with my therapist I was very shy about calling but now I realize if I need an answer I will always get one within the day if I ring him.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

That is what has me upset right now.

what are some things you like to do in spare time? watch tv/movies? listen to music? anything like that?

when i feel bad i usually do a few things.... watch some dumb, mindless reality tv show... one i know won't remind me of anything that makes me upset

or, i drive around in country mountain roads and listen/sing to music

or, i clean my house really well, or cook a nice meal

do you have anything like that that you could do to take your focus off of the upsetting feelings/thoughts?

[ruh roh]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Didn't you mention in another post that you owe a balance and that's why the next appointment was set for two weeks? If so, that sounds like a good check and balance, since it seemed you got into the weeds with the previous therapist over owing money (sorry if I've got that wrong).

I've always found it really good to keep the finances of therapy clean, even when I had very little money.

You like this therapist, so maybe write out all the things that went wrong with the other one, patterns to avoid, like owing money.

[Erebos]

Hope, you really need to make calls about these things. That way your not triggering yourself into thinking something is up.

There could be any number of reasons your email wasn't answered.
The most common it got filtered by mistake.
And now you email them again, despite knowing they probably aren't getting your messages!

Call them,speak to a human being that works there. Then you have no room for doubt.
Next time you are there TALK to the reception to ask about appointment policy.And the safest way to ensure a reply.
I suspect they will tell you to call.

[doogie]

I would try to call if possible. That would relieve any doubt about what is going on.

Yes perhaps they simply have not have received your emails. Also, it was only yesterday, if it's a busy office, maybe they prioritize responses and it'll just take a little more time to get to yours.

[Fuzzybear]

[Pain94]

Hope I am sorry you are feeling this way. I do agree with others, please call. If I am asking for time to talk or an appointment that needs taken care of before I see T again I always call. Call, leave a detailed message.

[SilentMelodee]

Really, you gotta give it at least a good 24 hours.... people get busy, or people are out, or things happen (my therapist's internet was recently out). Please don't set your expectations too high, or you may get hurt by this therapist too. I never call my therapist. She has given me ideas on things to do when I'm not doing well. I think if one were to call "too much" or in crisis "too often," you could get cut off completely, and you don't want that. Meditate. Read. Go for a walk in nature. Write in a journal. Try your hand at painting, or something constructive. Immerse yourself in something productive, housework, laundry, cleaning your bedroom, garage, bathroom, anything. Or...something I find myself doing, and probably shouldn't, take a nap, get into TV, something. There are crisis lines if we are not doing well. People you can call and just talk to, vent to, if you don't have a friend or family member to talk to. Use that, try not to use your therapist. And especially, when you Email a therapist, don't expect a reply. Sure, you may usually get one, but don't expect it, or getting angry about it could get it taken away. Especially "retaliating" by canceling sessions. I hope you don't see this as harsh, believe me, I've learned from experience in the past. I have learned NOT to rely on my therapist outside of session times, unless there were a dire emergency, like a beloved family member dies, or you lose your job, or separating from a spouse, something like that. If you can train yourself to use other things than your therapist between sessions (even if they allow it), you may find you won't have any hard feelings with your therapist, or become too dependent on them. I kept up on what happened with your last one, and felt the pain and desperation, and I'm trying to help you not let that happen again. Move on from that other therapist, and concentrate on your therapist now. But not TOO much. I know I "feel" dependent on mine, but I am able to do these other things and not show it. I am sure, for a scheduling issue, you will eventually hear back from the office. Although I know you said it was your therapist you Emailed, and it is possible he doesn't yet have any openings for next week, and the delay in getting back to you could be because he is trying to adjust his schedule or see about cancellations so he can give you a better answer. Try to think of it like that. I just don't want to see you lose another therapist, and self-care makes them happy and can work wonders for you as well. Good luck.

It's rude not to even acknowledge receipt of email.

[SoConfused623]

I'm wondering if maybe your T is doing something family related since it's school vacation week? (At least where I live it is..." Hope you hear something soon!

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

It's rude not to even acknowledge receipt of email.

My T is the opposite of rude, and never responded to my e-mail I wrote her earlier this week. This sometimes happens, and she generally tells me that she read it and wanted to think on it, and just wasn't able to write back before she saw me the next week.

The times she hasn't written back has been okay with me. I always know I could write again, or call if I really needed to talk to her, and she would contact me.

So, it isn't always rude.

Originally Posted by velcro003

My T is the opposite of rude, and never responded to my e-mail I wrote her earlier this week. This sometimes happens, and she generally tells me that she read it and wanted to think on it, and just wasn't able to write back before she saw me the next week.

The times she hasn't written back has been okay with me. I always know I could write again, or call if I really needed to talk to her, and she would contact me.

So, it isn't always rude.

But you at least had an explanation. You knew the drill. Still. Acknowledgment kinda good policy.