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Old Feb 07, 2008, 12:03 PM
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
Is this the first letter you've ever written to her? Have you discussed this issue before? My T didn't say anything about the letters I wrote her, and I wrote her at least 6+ years. It took me deciding not to write her but to talk to her in session and putting my own plan into action (unfortunately she was going to miss a session in there so I "accidentally" left my new journal in her office :-)

Maybe your T doesn't have 9 years for you to see her :-) and was just trying to speed things up. I think a lot of what upsets us with our Ts is what upsets us in the real world too; not telling your husband he disgusts and triggers you and needs to get off his sickbed and help himself a bit; could you have done that this week if your T hadn't done a similar thing to you? You didn't want to discuss what you wrote her, didn't want to take responsibility for feeling and saying what you did, wanted to dump it on your T so you could feel better but not have her give it back to whom it belongs? I think you are doing so well this week, have been energized and are working so hard communicating with your husband because your T did that with you?
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  #27  
Old Feb 07, 2008, 01:11 PM
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chaotic13 chaotic13 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,747
Sunrise,
Yes if I wasn't such a closed off pain in the butt, who was willing to step up and assert her wishes during an interaction that I know I am paying to control, I would have raised my hand and told her to "STOP, this is exactly what I did not want to happen with this letter." But instead I retreated and disconnected from the emotions that were surfacing :-) Hmmm, this sounds like a pattern that I repeat OVER and OVER again with my husband.

Perna, you may be right... Maybe she figured she'd give me a little push. I guess she is pretty confident that my self preservation instinct is fairly strong and instead of physically hurting myself, I will eventually lash out at him.
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