Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Have you read Mother Hunger? It's specifically about problematic mothers and our relationship with them so might not be relevant for you (I don't know your family situation), but the bottomless emptiness is very relevant to what she discusses.

Thank you. I will look into that book. I have done SO much work around my f'd up relationship with my mother, and I suspect that I have not yet done enough because some of the patterns are being repeated with L right now. I see this, with her ignoring that email. It's an exact repeat of how my mom used to ignore me and my siblings if we were bad or displeasing her. So I assume I have displeased L somehow and that's why she ignored my email.

SO complicated.

Mar 31, 2024, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Thank you. I will look into that book. I have done SO much work around my f'd up relationship with my mother, and I suspect that I have not yet done enough because some of the patterns are being repeated with L right now. I see this, with her ignoring that email. It's an exact repeat of how my mom used to ignore me and my siblings if we were bad or displeasing her. So I assume I have displeased L somehow and that's why she ignored my email.

SO complicated.

It is very complicated, I agree. And it's not linear and it's not easy to keep a hold of the depth of it. Really hard and painful stuff.

Lemoncake · Mar 31, 2024, 04:27 PM

I bought that same book for my sister along with the book “I’m glad my mother X” by Jeanette McCurdy.

The eating is a just coping mechanism to deal with distress. It's good that you're recognizing parallels between your current relationship with L and past dynamics with your mother.

Maybe CBT could help you challenge and reframe these negative thought patterns?

You can heal from this Art. You just need to go slowly.

You could also DM me if you wanted to talk about gym and exercise motivation.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 04:46 PM

Thanks Lemon. Yeah, I want to read Jeanette's book, maybe I'll order that one too.

I did go for a walk today on my lunch break, for the first time in a while. It felt good to be outside again in the fresh air. It actually gave me enough motivation that I am going for another walk as soon as I clock off work in 20 minutes. I've done more than my share of work today so I'm just coasting for the last bit.

Possible trigger:

I also began identifying my 'red' foods as they said in the OA meeting the other night, and I have not eaten any junk today. H bought a small cheesecake the other day and he has eaten half of it already but I have not touched it, and I'm not going to either. Chocolate and cheesecake are two of my trigger foods I guess you'd call them. I eat them without even realizing I'm eating. Like with those stupid reeses - I know and taste that I'm eating the first couple, but then suddenly it's like I 'wake up' and there's a pile of wrappers in front of me that I don't remember even eating the contents of. It's ridiculous, it is. i'm surprised I haven't put myself into a sugar coma yet.

unaluna · Mar 31, 2024, 05:02 PM

Yeah remember how i said i surprised myself fitting into an old blouse? I wont even try it now. I gained 20 lbs this past year after i started on insulin. Dr said yeah that happens but ordering cookies and candies on amazon doesnt just "happen."

I think i was worried about losing my apartment. Cuz man i disappeared on myself.

So now ive got a new glucose monitor and like hundreds of test strips so i am doing better about checking my sugar, not eating as much sweets, and recording my exercise minutes. Still trying to hit that sweet spot between not hard enough and too hard.

Possible trigger:

my current sweets are fiber one brownies and coffee cake - they are about the size of a playing card - not deck, CARD!!! - if you bend the card in half! - and the belvita little bites.

I read jeannette's book, it was pretty good.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 05:05 PM

just logged off work, heading out to walk again.

NP_Complete · Mar 31, 2024, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Thanks Lemon. Yeah, I want to read Jeanette's book, maybe I'll order that one too.

I did go for a walk today on my lunch break, for the first time in a while. It felt good to be outside again in the fresh air. It actually gave me enough motivation that I am going for another walk as soon as I clock off work in 20 minutes. I've done more than my share of work today so I'm just coasting for the last bit.

Possible trigger:

I also began identifying my 'red' foods as they said in the OA meeting the other night, and I have not eaten any junk today. H bought a small cheesecake the other day and he has eaten half of it already but I have not touched it, and I'm not going to either. Chocolate and cheesecake are two of my trigger foods I guess you'd call them. I eat them without even realizing I'm eating. Like with those stupid reeses - I know and taste that I'm eating the first couple, but then suddenly it's like I 'wake up' and there's a pile of wrappers in front of me that I don't remember even eating the contents of. It's ridiculous, it is. i'm surprised I haven't put myself into a sugar coma yet.

Possible trigger:

I ate an entire bag of Ruffles yesterday so you're not alone with the food thing. Not the snack size either. The big bag.

I don't think you're a bad person, so maybe I'm not bad either.

unaluna · 06:27 PM

Well now im settled in for the next couple of days. Rent is paid, water delivery is in, no deliveries anticipated, fridges are full of lettuce and spinach, sacksful of net zero tortillas, and canned tuna, salmon, and black refried beans up the yin yang. And eventually out the yin yang. Oh and oatmeal, and italian wedding soup. Gotta have chicken soup and meatballs.

Power is going out at some indeterminate but limited time and days long cement drilling for the new elevators will occur this week.

As the A-Team would say, I love it when a plan comes together!

Uh oh - i just tempted the Evil Eye! Hock-ptooiey! But let us celebrate this moment of peace, for however long it may last.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 07:05 PM

I just learned a new poetry form, well it's kinda like found poetry I guess but it's called a Spine Poem. You make a poem entirely out of book titles. Fun!

unaluna · Mar 31, 2024, 08:23 PM

Oh i like that!

atisketatasket · Mar 31, 2024, 09:49 PM

So like

Cry the beloved country
It
Gone with the wind

Or

The Odyssey
Of mice and men
It will end in disaster.

stopdog · Mar 31, 2024, 10:55 PM

I have seen it as books stacked on top of each other and you read the spines - usually top to bottom in the ones I have seen.

atisketatasket · Apr 01, 2024, 12:59 AM

It reminds me of the Whose Line Is It Anyway? skits where they would improv a scene using only song titles.

stopdog · Apr 01, 2024, 09:25 AM

The rollercoaster season is on us - in the high 70s today and 30s tomorrow. My heavy coated dog is lying on the tile floor in the bathroom.

unaluna · Apr 01, 2024, 10:14 AM

Ive already turned on my air conditioner a few times this year. I am so glad i figured out i could leave it switched to AC all year long and not turn it to heat blower for half the year. There are always too many hot days before and after the changeovers.

There is an italian word, pronounced "shkee-yacht" that basically means to physically explode from the heat. I get it now!

ETA - schioccare is the italian verb for to pop. I really like the italian english groups on facebook. Theyve taught me to find words from my childhood. Its also fun to share identical memories with complete strangers!

stopdog · Apr 01, 2024, 10:37 AM

I haven't cracked and turned mine on yet - and usually when I do turn it on before june it is because the dog is uncomfortable. I am putty in his paws

unaluna · Apr 01, 2024, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am putty in his paws

That sounds very messy.

stopdog · Apr 01, 2024, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

That sounds very messy.

No - the kind that cleans up easily. But I am a pushover for the pets.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Apr 01, 2024, 01:20 PM

Oh, ACs in the US are not automated to the point where they turn on whenever the temperature is above whatever inside/outside? I do not know why I assumed they were, our heating has to be turned on and off, but somehow it sounds like it should be automated...

Edit: heating in older houses, in new ones, there is an automated system depending on the ground temperature.

Apr 01, 2024, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

Oh, ACs in the US are not automated to the point where they turn on whenever the temperature is above whatever inside/outside? I do not know why I assumed they were, our heating has to be turned on and off, but somehow it sounds like it should be automated...

Edit: heating in older houses, in new ones, there is an automated system depending on the ground temperature.

What country is this, if you don't mind me asking? Automated heating based on ground temperature sounds like a sci-fi world to me (the UK specialises in damp, mouldy housing unfit for rodent habitation never mind human creatures).

NP_Complete · Apr 01, 2024, 02:03 PM

I have a smart thermostat that I suppose could be programmed to turn on and off depending on the outside temperature, but I haven't done that.

Lemoncake · Apr 01, 2024, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

What country is this, if you don't mind me asking? Automated heating based on ground temperature sounds like a sci-fi world to me (the UK specialises in damp, mouldy housing unfit for rodent habitation never mind human creatures).

You forgot to mention all the potholes too.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Apr 01, 2024, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

What country is this, if you don't mind me asking? Automated heating based on ground temperature sounds like a sci-fi world to me (the UK specialises in damp, mouldy housing unfit for rodent habitation never mind human creatures).

Switzerland. Our house measures the ground temp and if it's below a certain point heats, else cools.
Edit: the modern ones do.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 01, 2024, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

Switzerland. Our house measures the ground temp and if it's below a certain point heats, else cools.
Edit: the modern ones do.

Oh, interesting! I'm in the U.S. and control my own thermostat.

I did turn on the AC for about 12 hours a couple weeks ago when it was really warm here for a couple days. Our house was just getting very stuffy. Heat is currently running (rather chilly and rainy outside).

ChickenNoodleSoup · Apr 01, 2024, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Oh, interesting! I'm in the U.S. and control my own thermostat.

I did turn on the AC for about 12 hours a couple weeks ago when it was really warm here for a couple days. Our house was just getting very stuffy. Heat is currently running (rather chilly and rainy outside).

Our whole cooling system in through the ground, it is not efficient if it is very hot outside.

Edit also modern house

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