Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 28, 2024, 09:39 PM

yes! i like the way you think.

Mar 29, 2024, 08:52 AM

I am going for my first swim of the year this afternoon. Going for a walk and then a swim somewhere, maybe not in my usual spot as it has become too busy for my liking. In previous years, I have swam throughout the winter, but I didn't do that this year because it is pretty brutal and I am trying to be more gentle in more aspects of my life. Anyway, I have just checked the sea temperature around here. 6 degrees so not quite ice water temperature, but not far off. I am going to lay the fire before I set off so an easy light when I return! I feel cold already.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 29, 2024, 12:33 PM

Have a good swim moo!

ArtieTheSequal · 01:03 PM

H is out on a 7+ hour job, and I just put a batch of strawberry/blueberry muffins in the oven. The house is blissfully quiet. Now I am settling in at my computer to start working on today's poem, while the muffins bake.

edited to add a pic of said muffins fresh out of the oven:

LonesomeTonight · Mar 29, 2024, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

H is out on a 7+ hour job, and I just put a batch of strawberry/blueberry muffins in the oven. The house is blissfully quiet. Now I am settling in at my computer to start working on today's poem, while the muffins bake.

edited to add a pic of said muffins fresh out of the oven:

They look tasty!

NP_Complete · Mar 30, 2024, 11:30 AM

This place has been quiet lately.

Do you ever feel like you therapist lets you languish in silence while in session? I know they're not supposed to work harder than us, but when you're sitting in silence, told them upfront you had low energy and you're occasionally sighing, should they try to engage you more or am I just being too sensitive? I was sitting there struggling with some heavy emotions. I know he can't read my mind. I feel like he didn't even want to try with me.

Lemoncake · 02:44 PM

Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and a way to honour your grandparents.

Lemoncake · Mar 30, 2024, 02:12 PM

Silence if done well can be a tool for exploration and reflection. If you're feeling like P is not engaging with you enough, it's important to bring this up in your session. Your therapist should be willing to explore how you're feeling and adjust their approach accordingly.

Lemoncake · Mar 30, 2024, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

This place has been quiet lately.

Yep it has been.

unaluna · Mar 30, 2024, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and way to honour your grandparents.

And the cover photo should be the one of you on the rocks, stretching out your hand towards granmama.

unaluna · Mar 30, 2024, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Yep it has been.

Well i ve been sad because a favorite poster of mine has gone missing. Not sure why. But i found her very supportive and nonjudgmental and for sure i was going to marry her not kidding this (n-teenth!) time that ive fallen in love with someone on the site.

Mar 30, 2024, 02:38 PM

It is increasingly quiet here.

Whilst you are all getting lost down memory lane with your typewriters and reminiscing about past loved ones, I have been eating my body weight in simnel cake. Very heavy on the marzipan, you would approve unamylove. I survived the swim yesterday, but only just. By jove, it was cold. As a result, must keep my blood sugar up, not sure that's how it works, off for another slice nonetheless.

Mar 30, 2024, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Well i ve been sad because a favorite poster of mine has gone missing. Not sure why. But i found her very supportive and nonjudgmental and for sure i was going to marry her not kidding this (n-teenth!) time that ive fallen in love with someone on the site.

I am still here, please don't break your heart over me. It's hard, I know. My charisma is a curse in so many ways.

unaluna · Mar 30, 2024, 02:44 PM

I thought you drownded

so i moved on. Oopsie!

Lemoncake · Mar 30, 2024, 02:48 PM

The truth hurts, but you know how it was always supposed to be Ben and Jerry. Ross and Rachel. It was always Una and @@.

Moo you deserve someone who truly loves you as much as you love them. Una just goes around breaking young hearts.

unaluna · Mar 30, 2024, 02:55 PM

I said, "Oops." Doesn't that count? I thought we were on a break!

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 30, 2024, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and a way to honour your grandparents.

Great idea, thank you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

And the cover photo should be the one of you on the rocks, stretching out your hand towards granmama.

Another great idea!

Mar 31, 2024, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I thought you drownded

so i moved on. Oopsie!

I was not drowning but waving! Siren not cannonball!!

Mar 31, 2024, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

The truth hurts, but you know how it was always supposed to be Ben and Jerry. Ross and Rachel. It was always Una and @@.

Moo you deserve someone who truly loves you as much as you love them. Una just goes around breaking young hearts.

You are only saying that so you can muscle me out and get a look in for yourself. You are Joey, no, even worse: Haagen Dazs.

Mar 31, 2024, 02:37 PM

Why is it so quiet here these days? Did everyone else grow up and move on? All resolved and uncomplexed?

unaluna · Mar 31, 2024, 02:53 PM

We are worried about Charlie's pancreas.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Why is it so quiet here these days? Did everyone else grow up and move on? All resolved and uncomplexed?

I wish I was all grown up, resolved, and uncomplexed! No such luck over here. Every time I start to post or even do post something I'm afraid it's too negative and I stop or delete it. I feel guilty that I feel so bad/sad about ending with L, when it was MY decision, when others are struggling with terminations by their t. I feel like I'm just being a big-***** baby whining about it.

Although come to think of it maybe it was her decision all along but she didn't have the cajones to terminate, so she just said those ****** things to me to get me hurt/pissed off enough to quit.

See that's the stuff I've been posting/deleting lately.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2024, 03:20 PM

Speaking of eating your weight in marzipan....

Possible trigger:

I've been eating everything in sight lately and I can't seem to stop and I keep gaining weight. I'm just sick about it. 3 times in the past few months I bought these big bags of reeses off of amazon and kept them in my office drawer so h wouldn't know (yay me hiding food

) and i ate them each within a couple of days. I ate so many of them, so fast, I kept feeling sick to my stomach but I kept eating them anyway. Yeesh. I just joined another 12-step program a couple days ago to get help with this, OA (overeaters anon). It's like, I feel so empty inside because of this whole mess with L (why the **** do I care so much) that I have to keep eating trying to fill the bottomless emptiness. Ugh. I've gained back all the weight I had lost after the hospital thing last June. Double ugh. I'm so gross I don't know how I just admitted that to y'all.

Mar 31, 2024, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I wish I was all grown up, resolved, and uncomplexed! No such luck over here. Every time I start to post or even do post something I'm afraid it's too negative and I stop or delete it. I feel guilty that I feel so bad/sad about ending with L, when it was MY decision, when others are struggling with terminations by their t. I feel like I'm just being a big-***** baby whining about it.

Although come to think of it maybe it was her decision all along but she didn't have the cajones to terminate, so she just said those ****** things to me to get me hurt/pissed off enough to quit.

See that's the stuff I've been posting/deleting lately.

Ending a long term, complex relationship where you have attempted to uncover your vulnerabilities is a big deal. It would be weird if you didn't have residual feelings. It sounds like lots of unfinished business (which itself probably predates therapy/your therapist) and it's hard to focus on that and not get distracted by guilt/blame/criticism/erasure/drama etc etc. All of this stuff gets in the way and stops resolution. I am working on my own version of this.

Mar 31, 2024, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Speaking of eating your weight in marzipan....

Possible trigger:

I've been eating everything in sight lately and I can't seem to stop and I keep gaining weight. I'm just sick about it. 3 times in the past few months I bought these big bags of reeses off of amazon and kept them in my office drawer so h wouldn't know (yay me hiding food

) and i ate them each within a couple of days. I ate so many of them, so fast, I kept feeling sick to my stomach but I kept eating them anyway. Yeesh. I just joined another 12-step program a couple days ago to get help with this, OA (overeaters anon). It's like, I feel so empty inside because of this whole mess with L (why the **** do I care so much) that I have to keep eating trying to fill the bottomless emptiness. Ugh. I've gained back all the weight I had lost after the hospital thing last June. Double ugh. I'm so gross I don't know how I just admitted that to y'all.

Have you read Mother Hunger? It's specifically about problematic mothers and our relationship with them so might not be relevant for you (I don't know your family situation), but the bottomless emptiness is very relevant to what she discusses.

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