Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

I think that's enough, Lost. It's what you need right now.

Hugs, Lost. That sounds like good enough goals to me.

(i forgot to post when i typed this yesterday oops)

Thanks, Artie.

Sometimes support and maintenance is enough of a goal in itself. It's whatever you need at this moment.

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Agreed. It's what I needed for the first, say, 18 months (maybe 2 years?) of the pandemic. I was struggling and just had to get through it. Wasn't in a place to really do much more than that.

I like listening to murder mysteries when I walk the dogs and I lean towards the cozy side but I find I am more and more irked at characters that get all unhinged by murder or death - like somehow their notion of justice must be inflicted on others. I am not for murder of course but I don't find myself personally affronted by the demise of someone I don't know.

that reminds me - I haven't listened to my collection of old radio shows in a long time - I am going to go dig them out right now, so I can start listening to them while I work.

eta: no digging involved. found 'em already. old radio shows like The Whistler, and Yours truly, Johnny Dollar; Dragnet; CBS Radio Mystery Theater, the Big Show (with Tallulah Bankhead); Inner Sanctum Mysteries; all kinds of good stuff.

I think i just finalized my grocery list for the week. Its for the veg, mainly. I feel like i never get tired of eating a crisp salad. And i did indeed choose cheese - some nonfat american slices. Make myself a little meximelt. I keep waiting for taco bell to announce they are bringing it back. "It's what's for breakfast!"

i got a surprise day off today woohoo! yesterday afternoon just before i logged off, my sup sent out an email offering VTO for today (unpaid time off, for which we can use our vacation time to get paid for it) so I was like um yeah i'll take 8 of the hours being offered!

Hi Couch,

First session back today after a two week break.

I feel utterly wiped out.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to discuss the two most recent triggering events with someone who has the full picture.

I feel like my support system's shrunk a bit in the last couple of weeks, so I'm hoping to feel a sense of building it back up.

I have been having salad with trader joe's falafel in it for breakfast - I like it. I sometimes make falafel but the tj frozen ones are very convenient

Salad for breakfast seems so - idk. Bizarre? But that's what Chef AJ and others of her ilk reccommend.

I like it - I try to add a meatless protein like an over easy egg, some chick peas, cottage cheese, hard boiled egg, falafel. Or when wanting to be more omnivorous I will add some left over meat or tuna fish. I probably would not have hated breakfast as much as a kid if we had salad. I always despised cold cereal and was not a huge fan of bacon and eggs or most other things that are common american breakfast items (can't stand pancakes either). I mean it would not have made much difference in early morning eating because I am not hungry until around 9 or 10 but at that time - totally up for regular food that isn't sugar or fried.

I've become slightly addicted to writing Golden Shovel poems lately (where you pick a line from a favorite poem and then write a new poem, using each word in the chosen line as the last word in each of your lines, and of course you credit the original poet). Fun!

Hugs and head nods all around as wanted/needed/appropriate.

Had a dream about Dr. T last night with lots of symbolism. It began with his being missing--he was supposed to be getting off a plane on a return trip home, but never did. People were gathering at his house, but I wasn't sure if it was OK for me to go.

I went to the house and saw what in my dream was his daughter (he has a son, not a daughter, in real life) sitting on a bench facing the house, looking in. I think she represents me, on the outside looking in with Dr. T.

I went inside the house--my parents were there (duh, paternal/maternal transference). He eventually returned home, and people were all hugging. Someone hugged me, and I said, "I'm just a client." I said I should leave, but Dr. T told me I could stay. He offered me something to drink, opening the fridge. I felt I shouldn't ask for alcohol and saw a Coke in there, so I asked for that. He said, "All I have is generic cola." I said, "But I see one right there." He said it was too far back in the fridge to reach.

It seems to tie in with some of our discussion last session. Guess it's my brain processing all that.

I wish I could remember my dreams that well. I can only remember a few of them and they slip away so fast even if I try to write them down. There's some really cool symbolism in your dream- like the fact that your parents were there and him having a daughter who was sitting outside. I am also intrigued by the part about the cola. It's amazing the connections our brains make in the dreaming state. I think dreams are fascinating. Does your T like to discuss your dreams? Mine always wants to hear about them as possibly having some meaningful subconscious content. Although I don't bring them up much because my memory for them is not great. I hope you can discuss this with him. Seems super interesting and important.

Ooh, i like the part about the Coke!

I dreamt about my old t last night too! We were standing in line at a cashier's, he was ahead of me, i tapped him?, he turned around and kissed me like automatically(!), then i was sooo embarrassed for him. Then it turned into work dreams, and he was really waiting for Jennifer Aniston, not me.

Sometimes I wish I *didn't* remember my dreams so well! (I could do with forgetting one I had about ex-MC lately, for instance). But I can understand it being frustrating to have them slip away before you can fully remember them.

Agreed on dreams being fascinating. Some of mine seem to have lots of symbolism, like this one. Others just seem entirely random, like "Where did that possibly come from?"

My T has said he doesn't put much stock in dreams, so we don't discuss them much. I do bring them up on occasion, and there was one from a few months ago that he seemed really intrigued by (now I'm trying to remember which one it was!) I think I will mention this one to him, especially as it touches on things we were just discussing.

Must be a week for dreaming about t's. I woke up Wednesday morning knowing I'd just been dreaming about L but I couldn't remember any of the dream; it flew away as soon as I realized it had been there. Which is weird for me, considering how much dream work I did in therapy.

Omg i got the same shipt shopper as last week. He is the worst. I dont know why he was on my favorite list. I took him off. He doesnt know the store, and i think he has vision issues. I dont shop beczuse i have vision issues! This is not the job for him. Every damn item he has a question on. He thinks the store doesnt have anything. Does he think i made the list up out of my posterior? Ombg.

ETA - OK, end of hangry rant, sorry about that! I extra tipped him and apologized and told him good job. And just ate an excellent romaine salade!

L loves hearing about my dreams. My problem, too, is that they slip away real easily. But the ones I do remember are so complex and detailed. I don't usually have dreams about people I know unless they've harmed me somehow. My mind does like to insert famous people as place holders for people I know. I think I dreamt about L maybe once or twice. I don't think I've ever dreamt about T. And I dreamt about ex-T mamy times. Usually she's a counselor, therapist, or teacher who I'm seeking attention from, but she ignores me and cares about everyone else.

That's interesting that you tend not to dream about people you know, unless they've hurt you. I'll sometimes have random people in my dreams, but it's almost like my brain has a certain cast of characters that it tends to use. Though people will show up randomly at times, like someone I went to school with but haven't thought about in ages. And Dr. T has been a professor in my dreams before.

I did tell Dr. T about this one, and he was intrigued by it. Particularly about the can of Coke vs. generic cola. He said the word "generic" has a lot of meaning, like maybe I feel I'm just a generic client instead of someone important.

I didn't mention this on here, but I also had handed the girl on the bench a note for Dr. T. Today, Dr. T was very curious about what I'd written on the note, and I said I didn't know (I didn't mention that the only thing I remembered was that I was afraid I'd signed it "Love, LT").

From some of our other discussion, it felt like my sharing the dream gave him new insight into how I feel about our relationship at times. So, I'm glad I told him about it.

I'm so grateful it worked out well for you, LT.

I don't sleep well, so I very rarely dream.

Thanks, Lost. I tend to sleep poorly, too, but sometimes that shows up as more dreams (like REM instead of deep sleep, or waking up in the middle of dreams so I remember them).