Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

thanks lost. hugs back.

i'm afraid i'm not a very nice person anymore. i used to be. i don't know what has happened to me. at least i didn't say to H what i was thinking earlier. i just thought it.

Women Are Taught To Be Nice. Here’s What Happened When I Stopped. | HuffPost HuffPost Personal

Artie, I imagine you are still a nice person. You just don't let people walk all over you. There's a difference between being a nice person and being a people pleaser, for example. You can be the first one without the second.

Edited to add: I'd like to think I've become that, though I'm sure I still have a lot of people pleaser in me.

It would be really nice if our weather could just pick something and stick with it for a bit. Currently an unseasonably warm 60 degrees and pouring rain. Supposed to be a high of just 41 tomorrow. Then back up to a high in the 60s by Sunday. In the past month, we've gone from snow to not needing a jacket within the span of 5 days. This is not fun for those of us with migraines affected by weather fluctuations...

Artie - i see realizing i am not this NICE person as not being in denial about who i really am.

Like my parents did not accept less than perfection from me (or themselves), right? So i had to believe i could be perfect, and that they also were perfect. Thats nonsense. I had to restrict my activity too much to not risk doing something wrong, like getting dirty playing.

I still struggle to accept a human me. But at least now i know im not as nice as i once believed. But i take responsibility for those actions. Maybe other people didnt approve - thats okay. It was my choice, my decision, for reasons they may never understand even if they knew them.

Women have no obligation to be "nice" - nice is a trap to keep women subordinate.

My sibling stays in a horrible marriage because he is so concerned about hurting someone (nothing specific or intentional -just someone somewhere might feel bad) that they stay stuck - so he stays miserable and safe in a hair shirt of a marriage.

Women have been conditioned to be nice. To put themselves and their own needs at the bottom of the list.

Keep working on your boundaries and building up your self esteem, and you will lose the niceness.

Oh. I might need another username change.

Loona Personal Urinal: Your Bedside Buddy for Comfort & Convenience - Boom Home Medical

UGGGHHH.
I just had to fill out the FAFSA for the youngest barbarian. That's bad enough in itself, btw.

To do that I had to pull out pre-divorce taxes, which meant dealing with the ex. I don't even mean talking to him, just pulling up the forms with his name all over them. (And seeing *again* what a liar he was and getting mad about it all over again.) I was irritable and tearful and frustrated by the website and the buttons and having to track down the information, then I realized I was super anxious over just that much exposure to the @#$% and mad at the US govt for making me think about him. Heh.

I really really reeeeeaaalllllly hate that even that little bit of dealing with the ex impacts me that way. Logically I know it is a trauma response but I hate it so much. That's twice in less than a week. It is super dumb and I feel super stupid that I still feel that anxious. I just want to be able to think "Meh. What an a$$hole that guy was. Oh well," and move on.

How do you find these things?
Freudians

She has a gift.

It’s not super dumb and insignificant. You're dealing with a lot, and it's completely understandable to feel frustrated and upset by having to deal with reminders of past trauma.

It's okay to acknowledge those feelings and give yourself permission to feel them. Healing takes time.

Try to be kind to yourself and remember that it's a process.

Maybe brainstorm some ideas. I’ve been thinking about making a new account too.

Would you like a gift?

That's what everybody is getting from me from now on.

Sweetie you are making yourself irreplaceable to me!

Say what you like about the Loona and our luna, but that is a top-tier name for the product.

Oh i get it now. LOO-na.

We dont call it that here. I am NOT getting senile. Your gift is on the way!

perhaps i was just tired yesterday. i went to bed super early and slept all night. and feel much more chipper today.

hugs and head nods all around.

I am quite enjoying Denmark. Lovely and cold. Today I took the train to Roskilde to see the Viking ship museum. Very neat.

oh tasty feelings, in the form of blueberry waffles this evening, at least it's sugar-free syrup

...followed by a poem about my dreams, that actually rhymes for once.

Glad you're having a nice time @.

Have you visited any bakeries too?

Any dogowners (or others) that want to weigh in on this? I just got reminded of how impressed I was recently with my parent's/my dog. She kind of did more thinking than I thought dogs would be able to do, but maybe I'm just inexperienced, so opinions welcome.

The situation was as following: dog really doesn't love to go down stairs that you can see through. Think steps that aren't connected or railings that aren't walls. She gets scared and doesn't want to walk down. She's a big dog, so we don't pick her up (usually), Recently, we went to a mall where dogs were allowed. We had to go to the third floor, took an elevator up (psa escalators cause your dogs nails to get stuck and it can kill them if they reach the end with that). We decided to try to practice taking stairs that are a bit scary, but she didn't want to go down, ended with her pulling my mom away in fear from the dangerous, dangerous stairs. However, then she did two things. She went to the elevators, this I kind of expected. And then she got really, really stressed when the elevator wasn't there. By this I am kind of surprised. for her to go to the elevator seems obvious, she knows that's where we came from. However, for her to become anxious about no elevator being there, she needs to understand that we need to get down with that or nothing else. As in, it's either the stairs or the elevator. The human will not teleport us or summon whatever kind of machine to bring us down if we do not take the elevator. There are situations where she has no experience with it previously, but if owner feels fine, she feels fine. We clearly were not freaking out about not getting out the mall, we just wait for the elevator.

I don't know why, but this to me seems like a way deeper understanding of the world than I thought my dog previously had.

CNS - Was it one of those glass walled elevators where you can see everything, including that its not there?

Or did doggie just get bougie all of a sudden - "im not waiting with this riff-raff!"

Dogs are darn smart tho.

She could definitely see all to the bottom where it's coming up.

I only ever had rabbits before, I'm in awe (after having her for 8 years).

Definitely not just impatient, she was aware how it's coming up it seemed.

I think most dogs understand and feel more than what we give them credit for. They understand our language better than we understand theirs, at least at a basic level. Also, dogs can predict earthquakes and seizures. There's other things, too! Sense of time.