Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

Oh yeah then. I have to turn around and face the door in the Ren Cen when the glass elevator whooshes up infinite floors. My stomach cant keep up. Poor dog was probably like, half stairs are bad enough, im not riding on an invisible elevator! Oh thats funny.

I was talking about something with Dr. T today, where it feels nice if a friend says, "It was great to see you!" But I'm reluctant to initiate that, in case the friend is just like ,"Hm, yeah..."

Dr. T: It's like if you tell someone 'I love you' and they don't say anything back, where it's just hanging out there.

Me [glaring at him]: Yeah, I know what that feels like. Or when they aren't sure whether they can accept it. (referencing my having said it to him).

Dr. T: That was a bad example. Too soon, I guess?

Me: Yeah, kinda...

Wow...

I don't understand how he thinks being combative with clients is helpful.

It doesn't sound combative to me, more that he was clumsy and didn't think before he opened his mouth.

Something which would also be uncomfortable would be a friend saying it was great to see you when it wasn't that special for them. A superficial and robotic comment/response is meaningless. So maybe his lack of reciprocity is a kind of carefulness which actually respects your feelings. His lack of acceptance is a different matter and seems like he missed the meaning of what you were saying.

Thanks, Lost, though I think he was just being clueless, not intentionally combative. (He's had his combative moments in the past though.)

I agree that he wasn't being combative, but just clumsy. It seemed he realized the meaning of what he said

And I do think he's being careful. He's not the type to just say something because it's a social nicety or to appease the other person--from what he's said, he's that way in his outside life, too, not just with clients. So I know if he says something positive, he genuinely means it.

Example: Recently, my H got upset with me for interrupting him when he was talking (he trailed off and paused, so I thought he was done. And snapped, "Could I F-ing finish?" I discussed this with Dr. T, then found myself being particularly apologetic at moments that I interrupted him (Dr. T) in that and the next session. Without any prompting from me, Dr. T said, "I just want to let you know that it's never bothered me when you've interrupted me. Besides, I interrupt you sometimes." Some people might say that just to make the other person feel better, but I knew he really meant it.

And yeah, the lack of acceptance is another thing...

Ugh, H had cold symptoms earlier today, and so did D, and she seemed really sleepy. Then, she had, well, a stomach issue, if you understand what I mean. He ended up taking her to an urgent care place (in the hopes of getting some Zofran, an antinausea med). They did some tests while there, and she (and presumably H) has influenza A, so the flu (both got vaccinated in the fall, too). I had some flu-like symptoms (including chills and feeling warm, though no registered fever, plus achiness, fatigue, and nausea) about 10 days ago. So I'm hoping maybe I actually had it then (I know the timing probably doesn't fit for passing it to them, but there's a lot of illnesses circulating in our area right now). If not, I'm probably doomed, especially as I did *not* get the flu vaccine this year.

We have a lot of various diseases running rampant through the university right now - students are falling by the dozens. Norovirus, flu, covid, mysterious other ailments that produce goo = it is like a preschool there right now.

Ugh. It seems like this is a particularly bad season for all of that around here, too. Hope you can avoid catching anything.

It's possible that you may have had the flu about 10 days ago, especially considering the symptoms you described. However, it's also possible that your symptoms were caused by something else.

In the meantime, practicing good old hygiene, can help reduce your risk of contracting the flu.

Consider discussing with your healthcare provider if getting the flu vaccine at this point could still be beneficial for you.

I opened the windows today and now I have pollen all over the house.

I turned on the air conditioner, i was melting!

Cool whip!

I'm here now, Lost! What's going on? Hugs, if wanted. Well, masked hugs, so I don't give you the flu!

Thanks, LT.

I attended an online seminar last night with one of my favourite poets.
It was his first time speaking on the topic of shame.

I didn't realise that he was going to careen into my current three biggest triggers, as he mentioned shame around sexuality twice in the space of an hour, before talking about...TW for suicide



The first time he mentioned sexuality, I swore, but I noped out of the Q+A after the comment in the TW.

I don't see R for another 10 days, and she didn't say anything either way about email...so I am sort of assuming that she's not available.

My schedule is more packed than usual over the next couple of days, so I am wrestling with trying to make time to call E at the bereavement charity.

Part of me feels that R would rather know about something like this, but...I don't know.

What I know is that I've been so impacted by this that I'm going to skip the other sessions. It's too close to home right now.

Yes - my poor long hair triple coat boy is panting a lot and it is supposed to be around 80 here today. Then in the 30s later this week.
My dog and my sinuses are suffering

Hugs, Lost, I'm sorry you were impacted by all those things. Calling E sounds like a good idea? Maybe being busy will help.

hugs, Lost.

Thanks LT and Artie,

I think I will try to call after work tomorrow.
Of course, the Critic is going ape already, which doesn't help.

How are you doing lost?

I started a new series called "the food that built America".

The first episode is about Heinz.

h and i watch that. it's pretty good sometimes!

Thanks for asking, Cake.

I couldn't speak to my usual contact yesterday, but the person I spoke to has added a call with me to her calendar for next Tuesday. That's the earliest possible point I could do because of work.

Then R is back to work next Thursday, and my experience of the talk will be top of the agenda.

I'm finding it hard that I'm still feeling the emotional impact of it.

They're laying off 3-5% of the workforce at my company in the morning. Feeling anxious even though I think my job is probably safe. You never know who's making these decisions. Fun times!

I'm sorry, NP....that sucks, even if you are reasonably sure your position is safe.