Couch 249: The Self Care Couch

Guinea pig conversation means I can share this, after searching high and low.

Normal DBT is all about skills in 4 different categories. They help you learn how to handle tough emotions (eventually on your own) and how to deal with relationships (some that help you get what you want/need from another person although it will not always work because they still have their own agency). They usually use Marcia Linehan's book and it takes 6 months for one round. They usually recommend you go through at least 2 rounds. I did it for about 2 years and it was very helpful. My T actually required me to go. Don't be surprised if it is not taught by an actual T. Mine was taught by a psychiatric nurse who was certified in DBT, she actually taught classes for T learning DBT. She was wonderful.

Ha, that's funny! Thanks for sharing.


They also often sleep with their eyes open, and you can sometimes see them moving back and forth during REM sleep. And their ears will twitch at times, which is cute.

Thanks for the details! I'm fine with it not being facilitated by a T. There was one I saw that lasts a year (which seems like a long time if I didn't like the group). But I want to research them more.

Week 2 day 3 exercise in.

I am starting to not feel well until after i exercise, instead of not feeling well after i exercise.

Then again, it is very hot and humid today and i had turned off the AC while i ate lunch, just to not have the noise. So i turned it back on and biked, and felt better.

You can have a look at the DBT workbook by Matthew McKay and start some of the exercises yourself whilst waiting to start a group. Practice mindfulness to ground yourself in the present moment.

Similarly learning about Stoicism could help you too. There’s lots of simple explanations for beginners on YouTube. How to be a stoic is more accessible for modern readers over just diving into Meditations by Aurelius.

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Work on building up your self esteem and core self identity . I can still have my moments, but growing older and becoming more comfortable in my own body was one of the main reasons I feel mellowed out and less reactive than I used to be.

Well done Una for starting to exercise. Not to put a downer on your progress, but you should listen to your body. Not feeling well after exercise is a sign you might be doing too much too soon. Stay hydrated. Try the sports drinks. Have days off to rest. Build up slowly so you can maintain consistency.

No its getting to be the opposite. Sorry for the confusing phrasing!

I am also to blame, it’s too early in the morning for me.

Do you have a cute work out outfit, complete with a sweat headband?

Thanks, Lemon. Dr. T actually uses mindfulness with some of his clients. I was saying to R today that I'm not sure why he's never really done that with me except a couple times early on. Maybe I was resistant at the time? I don't know. But like breathing exercises, meditation, etc. Perhaps that's a way we could shift our work for a bit? Or at least have that be a component each session.

He's also trained in CBT, and I was definitely resistant to that early on. He'll very occasionally incorporate something from it, but maybe if we tried that more often? I know it's not the same as DBT, but for now, it can help (I believe DBT came out of CBT?).

Like, help me with the tools!

My workout outfit? Was designed by The Master Planner! And i dont like stuff tight around my head, it's too big for most bands, hats, etc. All those brains ya know.

My neighbors are lucky if i put pants on to get my packages at my door. I do wear a long top.

I found it to be one of your clearer posts (of course we are aramaic versus mandarin)

It were a clever turn, iffen i do say so myself.

Couch Workout Club day 4

I'm getting into the rhythm of doing three sets of my exercises.
It feels like I'm more in tune with what my body needs.

That's great, Lost!

You should write a book of all of your quotes.

I love taking photos but have never been comfortable in front of the camera. I am trying to do the things that make me uncomfortable- so I hired a photographer to take photographs of me in a park. Chose 8am as it would be more empty. Roped a friend in as well with the lure of free photographs.

I tripped getting down a wall (short) they suggested I climb up on, because I didn’t have my glasses on . 😂 I was awkward and felt uncomfortable, but I still did it.

We had coffee with him afterwards and he got a tip from me, which he was surprised by.

That's great you faced your anxiety that way! Hope you get some good photos out of it.

Dr. T virtually in 3.5 hours, if anyone wants to pocket ride. I feel like I have 3 sessions' worth of material, so will need to figure out what to prioritize, then save the rest for next week.

I hope there's something useful in the session, LT...and that you don't come away with your tail between your legs.

Thanks, Lost. I don't see him again till Monday, and I sincerely doubt he has any openings before then (not that I should do another anyway!) So I'm hoping this goes OK enough. Especially as I'd debated whether to cancel (too late for that, unless I want to pay his full fee, and insurance doesn't cover any part of cancellations).

I imagine he'll be in the new office, so I'll get a preview of that, I guess.

Hope your session goes well LT and you able to be honest with him.

Thanks, Lemon! I have notes to myself like "Don't overapologize" (It's hopeless to say "don't apologize at all," as I know myself.)

Well, that went poorly. Started out fairly well, where he seemed compassionate, then declined. He actually chastised me for raising my voice at him at one point. Like "I'm not going to sit here and let you talk to me that way." I very rarely express anger (like, maybe I've raised my voice to him two or three other times). And I don't think it was particularly harsh. More later.

Unsure what I want to do about seeing him more. Maybe I need to take a week and think about it. Yes, I know what the answer should be. I just need time to think it through. (And I'm quite certain R wouldn't be an option.)

I’m sorry it didn’t go smoothly. It sounds like the session was quite challenging. It's understandable that you need time to process what happened and consider your next steps.

Taking a week to think it through could be a good idea, giving you some space to reflect on your feelings and what you want to do moving forward.