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#51
Aug 28, 2024, 02:32 AM
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'When both of us have needs, she has the power and she wins...'
My word, does that resonate. I'm so sorry, Scarlet.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
 ScarletPimpernel
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 ScarletPimpernel
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#52
Aug 28, 2024, 10:30 AM
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Quote:
Resonates with me, too... |
| ScarletPimpernel
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#53
Aug 28, 2024, 10:33 AM
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Scarlet, could you maybe take a break, rather than ending it all together? Like say you're going to take a month or two off (however long you think), set up a time to meet again, and then if you don't feel you want to meet then, just cancel? That way, you could test out leaving. Though I'm not sure how it would be with the times you generally meet with her--if you need specific times, those could potentially not be available later (which is one thing Dr. T said to me if I were to take a break).
I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I feel you on this. Moving is so hard. And L's pregnancy has made it even more complicated. More hugs to you. |
| ScarletPimpernel
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| ScarletPimpernel
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#54
Aug 28, 2024, 10:34 AM
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Great post, LT.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
| LonesomeTonight
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#55
Aug 28, 2024, 10:44 AM
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My suggestion is to try and separate out feelings from facts and true needs from wants
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
| ScarletPimpernel
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#56
Aug 28, 2024, 11:22 AM
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LT,
I think I do need a break, but my fear, like you pointed out, is that I lose my time slots. I really prefer them to both be the same time of day because I can get them mixed up if they aren't. I also requested the 1pm time (as opposed to 2pm which she originally offered) because it allows me to get home with only some traffic. Once I hit my county, traffic can be extremely bad. I'm also afraid of the lack of support. I remember how much I struggled without her and not having a therapist during her leave. I wish I had a R like you do. J and I still aren't talking after 8 months. And T... it's hard with T. I feel distant from her because it's been such a long time without a session with her. She's also always so positive. But then again, she'll tell it to me straight. So I guess I can always talk to her. Things have been bad since L's pregnancy. She was supposed to change for the better. But I really believe she's at least a little extra unstable because of it. Normally it's endearing, but right now it's triggering. I just want old L back. 
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
| LonesomeTonight
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#57
Aug 28, 2024, 11:23 AM
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I'm sorry you both resonated with that phrase, LT and Lost.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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#58
Aug 28, 2024, 11:36 AM
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SD,
Yes. You're right. And it's hard differentiating between facts and feelings and needs and wants. Like did I technically "need" any furniture, even the ottoman. No. But does she really "need" a new chair and ottoman? Probably not imho. Both are wants, and even then she comes first. I guess what I "need" is more stability from her. I need her to stop changing things every couple of weeks. I know I can’t control people, but she seriously is different than before her pregnancy. I know why and I wish she would fix it. But I also know why she doesn't. It's hard and complicated. Facts versus feelings is also hard for me. I feel like she doesn't care and isn't ever considering my needs. But she is letting me keep the ottoman for now, so I guess that says something.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
| LonesomeTonight
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