Couch 251: The Matrix Recovered

Hey ghost. Of course it affects you. You cant lean on her, she leans on you... its still early times tho, right?

PBG, I had a health scare a while back. Because of confidentiality, L wasn’t really allowed to get support for herself with my news. So she asked me if she could specifically talk to her work partner. I agreed because it’s not fair for her to have to hold something and suffer. I didn’t agree for anyone else to know. Just him.

Maybe ask your spouse if you can talk to a specific person. Explain that you respect that it’s her news, but you need support too. And ask is there any room for compromising. Maybe something along those lines might help.

I feel like I have zero patience these days whenever the smallest thing goes wrong.

I recently got this anonymous feedback at work from someone on my team:
So now I'm feeling frustrated and like I can't/shouldn't vent about it to my colleagues which is just making me feel more frustrated. I also find myself indulging in self-pity or something, thinking "live my life and see how positive your attitude is". I wish I still had a therapist to talk to about this stuff.

Not to mention, this sounds like something my mother would say about "keeping you head up" or "smile!".

Ugh, I'm sorry. That would really bother me, too. And it also seems like something my mother would say.

Is there someone at work you trust more that you could talk to about it? Someone who also vents about their frustration?

Thanks, unaluna and Scarlet. It helps to not feel so alone. My spouse has surgery tomorrow. I got her permission to tell a few people about her situation, so I’ll have support during the day. This will help a lot.

I hope everything goes well with the surgery. I'm glad she's OK with you telling a few people.

Hi Couch,

I hope today is being kind to you.
I had a pretty intense session today.

Talking about some things makes me want to crawl out of my skin, even though R is skilled and compassionate.

Thursday has felt like a destination for an eternity now...more than just a day of the week.

I feel mired in my misery. Not sure how to escape it. I'm not sure there is a way out.

Hugs if wanted, NP. I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

Hi Couch,

I worked this morning, and today proved (once again) that you never know what's going to come up in a creative writing workshop.



I know that we can't censor what the young people want to write about, but it's hard to stay composed when that topic comes up.

Always work to do, I guess.

That must have been so hard, Lost. I’m sorry you had to hear that. It would be hard for me to hear, so I can only imagine how hard it was for you.

Thanks Scarlet,

I appreciate your understanding.
It's hard to know what to do in those situations.

Today we were in the main work space so I couldn't step out discreetly.

There's a lot going on in my world at the moment, so it's hard to keep track.

I hope you can take some time to rest after your session today.

Take care,

Lost

I'm also sorry you had to hear that, Lost. Hugs, if wanted.

I think there are different ways to get out of it or at least to deal with it – one you might consider taking meds to help if you're in the middle of a major depression. Otherwise some of it is just getting out and trying other things. I'm actually very serious- volunteer, exercise, join some groups, try meet ups, etc - they won't all work out -you have to have some perseverance- but I do think those things work. Sometimes you have to get outside your comfort zone and try new things – that does a couple of resets in my opinion- when you're around other people and you're not focused on yourself or whatever is making you unhappy- you are focusing on an activity or a group or the volunteer effort or whatever it is. There are thousands of things you can volunteer for- you can walk dogs, you can do meals on wheels, you can take classes , you can go on trips with groups like road scholars, you can do food pantry stuff and so on -whatever interests you -if you don't have an interest -start trying some things. I'm not saying this is easy -I'm saying it's possible and you're the only only one who can change your own life – that's a good thing it gives you the power

NP, meetup.com does have a lot of different activities to do. Maybe start small? Like find a book club or a group that meets for coffee or start with a group that meets virtually over zoom if getting out to go somewhere seems too hard right now.

The husband and I barely speak and he asked me tonight if I want to go get something to eat. Like why? So we can sit across from each other and not talk? I can do that at home for free. It’s 7:15 on Saturday we were both home all day today and said about 10 words to each other all day. I know that maybe him asking me if I wanted to go get something to eat was him reaching out but we practically just ignore each other all the time and I’m just not opened to going out and pretending that this marriage isn’t pretty much over.

At the gym today, some guy half my age asked me out. I felt simultaneously old and flattered.

Hi Couch,

I hope today's being kind to you.

I've had a bizarre experience with a parcel I ordered from a small business based in Indiana.

The USPS tracking said it was delivered yesterday morning at 6:15am (absurdly early for my area) and yet I cannot find it.

Are they known for marking things as delivered before they actually attempt it?

Would be grateful for any thoughts,

Lost

Lost, I'm not sure how it works in the UK, but here, yes, the USPS (and other shipping companies) will do that. I assume you don't get mail on Sundays, but it may arrive tomorrow. It's happened to me multiple times (and always seems to be on things I really need or am excited to get, not boring, non-urgent things). If you don't receive it within the next couple days, I'd check in with the place you ordered from.

Did he have big muscles?

I would describe him as nicely muscles, but not big muscles.

Like, normal and not on steroids.

I don’t know how international tracking works with USPS, but they may not track it all the way to your door since you have a different postal system.

This thread is now being closed as it is close to 1000 posts. The new thread can be found here: Couch 252: Kitties and Hawks.